resident philocalist

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sagittarius, dr pepper addict, INFP-T
philocalist: a lover of beauty; someone who finds beauty in everyone and everything
she/they please <3
formerly dee's abditory

Message to Readers

ayyyyy macarena

dear socially awkward people - im here to help

December 22, 2020


dear socially awkward people

ah, my dear friends. You are kind and lovely and funny, but so, SO awkward! it's ok. your friendly neighborhood Dee is here to help. A couple of my irl friends, (hi, Paisley Blue and Kiwibird!) thought I should put this up, so here you go! Enjoy!

When meeting a new person:

Step one: Get their name, and use it. Using their name implies you care enough to learn it and remember it. As long as you're not using it in every sentence, theres really no way to overuse it!

"Nice to meet you! So, Jack, how do you know Annie?"
"Bye, Jack, have a great day!"
"Hey, Jack, do you want to come sit with us?"
"You're so funny, Jack!"

"so... er... how do you know Annie?"
"Bye, ummm... John!"
"Hey... er.... you, do you want to come sit with us?"

Step two: Be friendly. Ask them about themselves, try to get to know them. On a first meeting, don't ask too personal of questions. This can seem rude and creepy.

"So, Jack, how do you know Annie?"
"Where do you work, Jack?"
"What do you usually order here?"
"Do you like Star Wars? The newest movie was awesome, right?"

"So, Jack, what are your sexual preferences?
"Who did you vote for in the last election?"
"Why did you and your wife get divorced?"
"Have you ever thought about cheating on your wife?"

Step three: Be funny! Make them laugh. Almost everyone likes to laugh. Its the easiest way to put someone at ease. Be funny, joke around. Keep the tone light. Tease them a little, but in a nice way.

"If this line was going any slower, we'd be going backwards!
"If the Vikings get any worse this year, I'm moving to Wisconsin!"

"I still don't know how you got a 10 when youre a solid 2!"
"Hah, that shirt makes you look like you crawled out of a sewer!"

Reading Body Language:

Arms crossed, body tense, replying in short sentences or not replying at all, barely making eye contact:
This person doesn't want to talk to you. It would be better for you to just bid them goodbye, and find someone who wants to talk.

Rubbing the back of their neck, arms crossed over their stomach or held behind their back, minimal eye contact, ducking their head, replying shakily:
This person is also a little awkward or nervous. Do your best to put them at ease and maybe try to get them laughing.

Hands in their pockets, bouncing on the balls of their feet, swaying back and forth, making eye contact, smiling:
This person is listening to you and cares about what you have to say. They're probably very capable in social situations. Let them take the lead if they want, or keep up the light tone they're using.

Arms crossed, head down, replying in shrugs or other nonverbal communications, not making eye contact, eyes glazed over: 
This person isn't in a good mood, or isn't in the mood to talk. You can ask them if they're ok, if they need anything from you, or you can ask if they want to be left alone. They need you to ask, because if they're not in the mood to talk, they probably won't tell you what they need.

Running hands through their hair, laughing and smiling a lot, complimenting you, playfully touching you, making a lot of eye contact:
This is a bit unreliable, but they' might be flirting with you. If you're talking to a girl, she's most likely flirting. If you're into them, match their energy and be confident. If you're not into them, be kind and gracious, but don't give them the wrong idea.

If there's any other situations you want me to show you how to navigate, drop a comment! If this is boring and you don't need this, good for you! But please don't put that everyone knows these things in the comments, because some people dont, and you might make them feel dumb or inadequate, which I don't think any of us want. 

All my love, and best wishes,
-Dee :)
My friends wanted me to do this and i thought some of y'all could use the help too. If you have anything I missed, by all means drop it in the comments!


See History
  • December 22, 2020 - 2:05pm (Now Viewing)

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  • Starlitskies

    I can't thank you enough for writing this! I love how you added humour to it rather than simply stating facts! Absolutely loved it! :)

    9 months ago
  • poetri

    Peep me scrawling note cards to put in my bag for when events start happening again...yeah, I'll be coming back to this one. Thanks for writing it. Sincerely, your local shy socially anxious kid (two things that do not make talking/just in general being in public a fun thing lol)

    9 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    Wow, nice info! And kinda funny in parts! Very helpful!

    9 months ago
  • A blind (young) man

    Lovely piece.

    9 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Gah I'm bookmarking this piece

    9 months ago
  • løne wølf

    thank you for this! i literally have to write scripts before i call someone on the phone, so this will really help me when i have to talk to people after covid TwT

    9 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    Re: we don't need to get married, dude! We're sisters! :) someday, maybe we can go there and camp in the backyard and ill show you the woods and we'll watch the moon. How's that sound? :)

    9 months ago
  • Busssy.Beee

    YESSS!! so helpful!! especially the body language part!! THANK YOUUUUUUUUU!!

    9 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    this is awesome

    9 months ago
  • Deleted User

    I don't need this, but this would definitely be helpful for someone who does! You went over every single situation!

    9 months ago
  • psithurism

    haha yes

    9 months ago