Peer Review by Luiza Louback (Brazil)

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Ornamental Angels

By: Zinniav


FREE WRITING

My soul is depreciating. I folded myself into complex origami, Gothic arches and bowties and little paper snowflakes, but the creases are starting to tear. 

There is nothing aesthetically pleasing about a Christmas Tree.  Cathedrals are beautiful. Mosques are beautiful. Forests are beautiful. I think Christmas Trees might be beautiful. Is it beautiful to give life to a dead thing? 

Do hopeless pilgrims pound life into miles? Do fat bankers eat living gold?  Do passionate martyrs die alive? Or do we modify our Gods after they are gone: hopeless, fat, passionate.    

I’m failing to harmonize. Ornamental zits corrupt my facial symmetry, and the rain falls rhythmless. Midnight is passing, the moment illuminated in electronic light and an electronic choir of depreciating angles.


Peer Review

This piece made me think. The writer used amazing metaphors that give us an insight into the narrator's inner and deeper thinking and feelings. I adore the questions the writer proposes to the reader and the real (un)conclusion of these thoughts.


I would love to see these intriguing thoughts being more approached and the piece to be longer. I loved this work and writing and love to know more!


Reviewer Comments

I love your writing! The rhythm is soothing and invites the reader to continue reading. I also liked the central idea and the rare thinking about this Christmas time. Congratulations!