BlueWolf (Semi Hiatus)

Australia

Hi!
I exist. I think? :3
Previously WinterWolf(#holidayvibes)
Can you guess how old I am?
Have a wonderful day. :)
Joined August 21 2020!!! :)

Message from Writer

Go check out my wolf sister ava09

Ok...Can I just thank every one of the people on this site. I just want to give everyone a hug and thankyou for supporting me through everything!!!

”If people are doubting how far you can go, go so far that you can’t hear them anymore.” – Michele Ruiz

“Write it. Shoot it. Publish it. Crochet it, sauté it, whatever. MAKE.” – Joss Whedon

“People who wonder if the glass is half empty or full miss the point. The glass is refillable.” – Unknown

“If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.” – Kurt Cobain

"The universe takes care of all its birds" - In Wonder by R.J. Palacio

I'm not here to judge anyone. If anyone wants a listening ear I am here for you.

Beth r.'s Story Chain Chapter 5 :3

December 20, 2020

FREE WRITING

12
Her breathing hitched as she saw someone looking up at her. Edward. Vacant green eyes blinked away the grime that had settled there after countless hours. He started to roar incomprehensible words at Charlotte. She stood frozen in horror at the entrance of what looked to her like a prison. The trapp door was a narrow opening in the floor. Underneath, the ladder unsteadily clung to the brick wall.The floor was made of reinforced glass and beneath it countless prisoners lay. Ed's eyes pleaded with her unspoken words she wished she could decode. Sounds of vomiting came from Alice. The wafting smell of the dead seeped through the glass and was absorbed into the walls. The dead's final gift. Charlotte wanted to join her as she saw further down the unsteady ladder into the body littered prison. Charlotte's inner battle waged before she bypassed the ladder completely. She jumped into the narrow hallway, and landed in a crouch. She pounded with the ferocity of 100 warriors on the glass. Edward was dying.

Alice was horrified at the utter mess she had made of the pubs luxurious crimson carpet. Not to mention the devilish red dress she was wearing. She fingered the fabric taking a mere second to mourn the dress that was unlady like to say the least but... She loved anyway. She loved before regurgitated scones was strewn over the front. Alice carefully clung to the ladder and delicately lowered herself onto the glass. Her heel clicking as she stumbled unceremoniously over to Charlotte.

Charlotte was in a right state. Hair flying forming a hurricane of wrath. Her furious features were mangled by rage. Her fists rained blows on the glass while Alice pleaded reason that fell on deaf ears.

"Charlotte, somebody will hear you."
Alice hissed desperately clutching her friends shaking shoulders.
"But I can..."
She blubbered furiously. Charlotte bowed her head. She was too ashamed to be crying in front of Alice and couldn't even meet her eyes.
"I can rescue him! Don't you see. We have to break him free."

Bangs on glass punctured ever syllable and dripping tears accompanied every word. Charlotte could see Edward full of life and laughter building up in her mind. She focused her energy on her bleeding knuckles as they smashed into the glass. The rhythm of the reapers steps echoing in her ears. Edward was swaying. Gashes were frequent on his body. Blood leaked like Charlotte's tears but in streams of red. One milky eye starred up blankly unable to focus. The other full of fear and a foreign emotion that Charlotte has never know but was Alice's old friend. Defeat branded it's symbol on every inch of his skin. His yells were but a distant memory as his adrenaline failed him. His shouts watered down to careful words Charlotte imagined were said in his scruffy accent. Charlotte wished to soak up every wavering word. But his speech was lost in the glass. All she got before he collapsed was lips that moved, and formed hazy words,
"Forget me"

Charlotte sobbed. She scratched at the glass. Her nails screeched as they frantically tried to break through. Edwards chest moved fractionally. Small enough not to be considered a movement. Alice had vomit caked in her hair, and smelled like death but her mind was as clear as her grandmother's tea set after it was hand polished. Alice half dragged, half carried Charlotte away.

"Charlotte"
Charlotte lunged towards Edward's space of the floor. Snot and tears drenched her and Alice.
"Bloody Listen to me Charlotte"
Alice roared. Her shriek echoed down the corridor. Charlotte turned a ghostly shade of pale. The only time she had ever heard Alice raise her voice was when yelling at boy. One who was trying to 'seduce' her. She never wanted to be subjected to the lethal blade that was Alice's wrath.
"Do you want to find out who killed your brother? Who hurt Edward?"
Alice whispered threateningly. Her lips softly brushing Charlotte's ear. Charlotte shivered tingles running down her spine.
"Than get a move on"
The mewling kitten had transformed into a lion. A lion who wasn't afraid to attack. Charlotte glazed longingly at Edwards portion of the floor as Alice tugged her shaking body down the halway. But ultimately her dragging feet complied.

Alice opened the first door they can across. Regret immediately filled her body. The door swung close silently behind them. Both girls froze like deer in front of hungry yellow wolf eyes glowing in the night. Alice's stomach heaved. She almost choked as vomit flowed freely out her mouth. Charlotte with a vacant hand pointlessly held back her hair. Thrown up food, and tears already intertwined with her golden locks. Alice's body rebelled, but she still tried to be alright for Charlotte. Images of Edward still prevented Charlotte to register anything. Faces looked down on them. Vacant bodiless faces.

A dark oak table filled the room. The matching chairs sat elegantly pierced on the scarlet carpet. The carpet matched the pub upstairs except it was cleaner, and more refined. Alice wasn't in the mind set to compare carpets, and her attention was focused on the looming centerpiece. Above the sizzling fireplace which filled the room with warm tones there was a brown wood plaque. The plaque had a golden outline that somehow managed to not look tacky. On the plaque was a human head. Lifeless and still. But still eyes gazed unseeing over the two girls. Stuffed human heads. Blue eyes were mirrors into the non existent soul. Tousled brown hair looked as if fingers routinely ran through his hair. But had recently been combed too neatly. He looked unnatural, and barely human. His lips were dry and bitten by now yellow teeth in his slightly open mouth. As if he was reliving nightmares Charlotte wished she would never see.

Alice screamed as the small door behind her was flung open with a reckless flurioush. Dark figures flooded into the brick room. Bodies flung themselves into chairs with velvet cushions. Smiles wicked with expectant eyes. They smelled of blood and expensive perfume. Charlotte was a identical twin of the face on the wall. Scared, but vacant. Hands gripped Alice's shaking shoulders. Their nails digging deep into her skin.

"We've been expecting you"
I don't think my writing style blended well enough with the chapters before hand. I need to work on that. I feel like you can definitely tell this is written by somebody else. :( I feel I need to get better at this sort of setting. (Be a bitless kind of sci fi I guess. I don't know but it has different vibes.)I like dark things? (idk. My writing seems determined frame me as a dark minded individual) :3 Edward is not 'officially' dead. I'll leave it up to future writers to decide.  I know Lindy had plans for him in the future so...yeah. I don't think the dialogue flowed too well unfortunately. Dialogue isn't my strong suit in general so I don't often use it. But I kinda couldn't avoid it. (I think subconsciously I tried to though.) I don't know if the characters were as consistent as the last chapters, but I felt Alice needed more...depth? (I like Alice. I don't know if I like her more than Charlotte. They're both pretty even for me, but I feel that I personally wanted a bit more depth to Alice's character to expand on what Ash~ did in the previous chapter. But maybe I wasn't consistent enough? Or maybe I didn't do it right? Or maybe she already had enough depth? Maybe I made Charlotte too one sided.)
Word count: 51 words too many :3 .
Btw sorry this chapter has taken a little while. It was hard to nail down a plot line and then actually attempt writing it.
So... This is my super long, super self criticizing, and possibly unnecessary footnote. I don't know. My brain is sore :3 . I would love to hear feedback/critiques, and I am excited to read the next chapter. Happy writing and wreathwriter (#holidayvibes)​ is next for chapter 6.

Previous Chapters:
First Chapter- (beth r.)
Second Chapter- (Future Pseudonym)
Third Chapter- (LindytheRavenclaw)
Fourth Chapter - (Ash~)

Current list of authors:
Chapter 2: Future Pseudonym
Chapter 3: LindytheRavenclaw
Chapter 4: Ash~
Chapter 5: WinerWolf (#holidayvibes)
Chapter 6: wreathwriter (#holidayvibes)
Chapter 7: joyful.scribbles (#holidayvibes)
Chapter 8: izzywideon (aka fuzzypidgeon)
Chapter 9: Halopoet
Chapter 10: Stone of Jade
Chapter 11: SunV
Chapter 12: Minvra
Chapter 13: tas (yellowbrickrd)
Chapter 14: Passionate_writer_samriddhi

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  • December 20, 2020 - 1:23am (Now Viewing)

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27 Comments
  • Rose A(hiatus)

    oh my goodness I'm so glad I've finally gotten to read this. and let me tell you... wow, I was not expecting it to get so dark. but it's also super good so I'm fine with it. great job!


    7 months ago
  • Future Pseudonym

    This story is starting to get especially gripping (and noticed by the public, it seems!) Awesome chapter BW :p


    7 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    Re: awww, thank you so much!!! You’re so sweet! <33333


    7 months ago
  • midnight.summerrose

    Re: Awww thanks :)
    I’m good thank you, how are you?


    7 months ago
  • Busssy.Beee

    Hi! You hear a knock on your bedroom door. Who could it be? You open the door to find Chandler holding a small box. “I figured Christmas was tomorrow, and you really deserve something. You’ve been such a sweet friend after all. So, well. Here you are.” What could be inside? You open the lid hastily, and what do you find?

    https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/209897/version/432938

    “That’s your ticket to our little party. Hope to see you there!”


    7 months ago
  • Just_A_Memory

    Hurry up! Christmas is upon us and you as an elf have to make sure the presents are up to code. Head to your work station!
    https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/209706/version/432262


    7 months ago
  • Sunflower~

    Haha, maybe ;) my writing gets kinda dark on some of my longer pieces, but I don't really publish them that much haha


    7 months ago
  • BizzleWrites

    Replying: Yeah, it's great! I really love it.


    7 months ago
  • astrea

    re: thanks you, glad i am not the only one : )


    7 months ago
  • lilybeam26

    Re: Part 1 of chapter 1 has been posted, hope u like it!!! <3


    7 months ago
  • (sk)eyesofocher

    OKAY FIRST OFF YOU KILLED MY CHARACTER HOW DAAAREEE YOUUUU *sobs*
    re: thank you so much! I'll see you:)


    7 months ago
  • journal.scribbles

    Wow! I was definitely not expecting Edward to be dead. Your descriptive writing is amazing, I love it. Great fifth chapter!!


    7 months ago
  • Sunflower~

    Ohhhhh so much darker than I anticipated... but it's great! The vibe does seem a little bit different, maybe cuz of the glass floors and stuff? Idk, this was amazing thoughhhh!!!!


    7 months ago
  • Sunflower~

    Yayyyyy! I didn't realize this was out already ;)


    7 months ago
  • SunV

    I'm sorry I didn't read this! I need to read all the othr pieces first, which I haven't because of Midterms. I don't want to get stuck to this story. I promise, I will, on 24th! I'll be travelling, so I'll have the time to! It's funny, cuz I'm writing a part of it XD

    Re: Those interpretations are so unique! I've done the spinning thing too many times to count XD. You'd think I would be great at standing still after the uncountable times of spinning till the world spins, but, no.

    My interpretation will be posted tomorrow, if not later. I really want to see other people react, and then I'll reveal mine!


    7 months ago
  • lilybeam26

    Re: part 1 chapter one is almost done will be posted either tomorrow or the day after, happy writing!!! <3<3<3


    7 months ago
  • Nikki

    RE: I am so so glad you like my piece! i think the last line was my personal favorite too! for some reason i am in the phase of doing something with nursery rhymes. any ideas?


    7 months ago
  • Caleb Urlacher

    re: ty. my publisher is technically amazon but also myself i guess


    7 months ago
  • Busssy.Beee

    re: thank you for your comment!! and, once again, congrats on 100 (101 now) :))))


    7 months ago
  • Jasmin khawar

    Re: <333


    7 months ago
  • Jasmin khawar

    Re: thanks a lot for the support!!! I'm grateful that you listened...and helped <3 love you


    7 months ago
  • Jasmin khawar

    Re: I can't stop crying, I can't sleep. Future is scaring me....I think I'm not enough


    7 months ago
  • Jasmin khawar

    Re: thanks a lot.....
    I've no choice, I don't know who to tell.....I'm feeling scared


    7 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    Re: THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! Your comment was super encouraging and insightful!!


    7 months ago
  • Busssy.Beee

    Okay, so I have few things to say:
    1) Woahhhh, i love the vibe in this one... It's in my perspective enchanting. The flow and vocabulary are spot-on
    2) I prefer prose, just because in school, that's what we're taught 100% of the time. Poetry is fine though because you really don't have to come up with much of a story line. But, I still love reading poetry!!!
    3) CONGRATSS ON 100!!! AHHH, THAT'S SUCH A BIG MILESTONE!!!! YAYAYAYAYAY!! *blows up imaginary balloons*


    7 months ago
  • beth r.

    whoa, that was dark, but like dark chocolate dark. spooky but still having a heart to it.
    "her mind was as clear as her grandmother's tea set after it was hand polished" love this imagery. you added great depth to Alice :)


    7 months ago
  • Zirong

    All I can say is: bravo. I love the whole thing, especially how you accurately portrayed the characters' subtle emotions through detailed descriptions. Your word choices are also exquisite. There are a few spelling slips(I guess?) but they don't affect the flow at all. I don't write much fiction but have read quite a number, and I can tell this is absolutely a stunning piece! I really look forward to the following chapters!
    Btw thank you very much for your comment on my piece! :)


    7 months ago