Peer Review by Miloe (United States)

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don't you dare love me

By: Starlitskies


FREE WRITING

don't you dare love me. don't tell me
you love me more than your eyes love twinkling
and the stars love the dark. don't make me smile through my tears. don't 
watch the sunrise with me, when
the world is asleep and it's the singing sunbeams and I,
sitting in silence, knowing there's room
for one more, beside me, inside me. don't sing for me 
in your dulcet voice, of the dalliance that lasts, and the denouement that's love and how i am your darling,
cause darling, i'm not.
don't you dare dance with me, don't
you dare be the one to catch me when i fall, like
cobwebs catch dewdrops and your 
fingertips catch my tears. don't you catch me
watching you smile. don't you make me
blush and redden, not like a rose you say, but like
the pomegranate that stains persephone's lips. don't you
dare offer to read the ink that spills across my pages, when
no one ever does. don't you dare. don't you dare. don't you dare.
darling, don't you dare love me.

i'm scared i'll love you back.


Message to Readers

Finally wrote a poem that I actually like! Thank you to Paisley Blue for the great advice on line breaks, and Anne Blackwood for the amazing poetry recommendations!


Peer Review

The emotion in the repetition of "don't you dare" along with the similes about love and catching and all that are really good and it flows really well with the rest of the poem.


I wish I knew where you get you're inspiration. The flow of the poem is really well done along with the line breaks, i didn't quite understand the line breaks at first but by the end it didn't matter to me at all.


Reviewer Comments

This is beautifully done, the emotion really stands out and I loved reading it. You should be really proud of yourself.