R.j.Elsewhere

Australia

꧁ i write for myself ꧂

18
Italian
Bi
She/her
Catholic but also a witch(?)

Message from Writer

Man, I’ve been here since the summertime of ‘17. Ik, I’m way too old for this shit.

Also:
•#BlackLivesMatter
•I don’t fuck with any forms of transphobia or homophobia
•don’t follow me or like any of my work if you’re racist or sexist

Thank you

A conversation every writer must have with their audience, as well as themselves when naked in a field of fox droppings |FOOTNOTES|

December 23, 2020

FREE WRITING

26
Some days I am so disenchanted by whatever filth crawls from out these overworked and bitten finger tips, that a thing so vile and twisted, festers and plots within my newly womb. And Twisted it is; knotted and bunched and turned in on itself by my own hatred. It bathes in a sea of red. It is not pretty or poetic. It heartbreak and frustration so great I bleed a new shade of blood. Instead a beating, ugly red, a rather still and silent blue. 


I bleed ink. And it stains every surface that is touched - every surface I touch. 

The soft curve of my hand. My linen sheets. The bench where I sit to eat my breakfast, a bowl of cereal and a vanilla milkshake with no sugar but two eggs. One for protein and another to help fluff up the crown of the shake. I enjoy a light breakfast, but not because I choose to. I have too. You see, I must enjoy a light breakfast, for I am so often full from the night before, I simply can not stomach the very thought of my plate, heavy so. The dinner before, and the dinner to come, where the main meal is self-hatred with a side of narcissism. But before that we have entrees because while I am somewhat cruel, I am not a true monster, nor am I unsophisticated despite what my father says. So, Entrees: usually a gorgeous cocktail because I have a drinking problem most days and I distaste of the natural and needed fat on my body on the others; so eating is out of the question until I am drunk and with little to no sense of self...too much? Anyhow, a shot or two of commitment issues, a splash of regular hyper fixation with an equal, but measured cup of regular loss of interests, and now don’t forget the very elegant slice of parental issues which makes the drinks so signature.

And Vol la! My entree, a cocktail. 

Now don’t even think about desert, because desert never comes. I don’t believe I deserve it...

Hm. Ah!

I knew I was forgetting something. Ladies, gentlemen, and gentlepeoples - I introduce to you my low, or rather impossibly bottomless, self-esteem issues.

Do not be taken aback by my fruitful neglect of this lovely trait, due to my loud and bright narcissistic tendencies. it’s rather habitual now to almost completely forget about it. 

Well. 

Until my mother opens her mouth, that is.

I tend to ask myself a rather morbid question between the time I fill myself up on my stomach turning meal and the time I wait for a treat that will never arrive due reasons I have listened above.

Go ahead, revisit it. Reread it. Re-breathe it. Remember it until my words tattoo themselves on your mind and slowly dip you into a sudden sleep. Like artful, well crafted poison. Treat them as gospel; as pray; as religion itself. You see, I feed off of others adoring my work to the point of obsession. Because, honestly, they should (don’t mind this paragraph, i’ve poured too much narcissism in my drink and I’ve become undone with egotism). Even though I have this little and crooked thing perched on my shoulder telling me not to draw your attention to the overwhelming use of vocabulary and lack of proper spelling and grammar - and, most shamefully, the thesaurus that I keep by my bedside. I skim through it too often and you all can tell, I know it. 

If you have stayed with me this long, I applaud you, truely. I am easily distracted, almost disgustingly so. 

Nonetheless, back to my animus life question: Is this the fate of a writer?

To spend your youth of shy, dawning artistry, ascending to this ever-great and cosmic pinnacle of authorhood through blood, sweat, and trilogies?

Words which we, with time, build into worlds and lives, they slowly take new forms and dawn new meanings to our subconscious. Like cathedrals, they tower and eclipse our modern realities and become our ancient, ethereal place of sanction. We write for two things: hoping that we, one day, will meet God, or become God; to hold power and add a new chapter in the Book of Creations with our own bites of scripture.
 
No matter how divine the ball-tips of our pens become, or how careful we take the clay, and sculpt works which rival Michael Angelo’s David, the true fate - or curse - of an author is to suffer. 

Even though it is gorgeous and eternal, it is awfully daunting - terrifyingly so at times. How we suffer in this constant state of dissatisfaction with one’s self and one’s work.

But we live to bleed and bleed to live.


The very genetics of a writer is suffrage. We have deep-bellied strife and caffeine addictions. 

But how we love it. There is a saying for creatures like us: the great poets are born from melancholy, and the greats writers, you ask? Greek tragedies. 

The fate of a writer is to love to suffer.
 
VERY IMPORTANT!!!

This is a very raw piece which is a calling, or rather, an invitation to all who wish to join me in sharing their view of “A writer’s Fate”. This piece isn’t supposed to be pretty or delicious, instead, an awfully true and ugly retelling of your own tragic experiences as a writer. Tell me your worse traits that have developed ever since becoming a writer, or what traits have grown out of control because of writing. Your only challenge is to be completely transparent with you the person, and you the “author”. If you wish to join or want to share, just drop a link in the comments. 

thank you for your time and, as always, happy writings!

Print

See History
  • December 23, 2020 - 5:52am (Now Viewing)

Login or Signup to provide a comment.

24 Comments
  • mirkat

    oh wait try this sorry:
    https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/212864/version/440958


    4 months ago
  • mirkat

    tried your prompt!
    https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/212864/version/440954


    4 months ago
  • crystalline•galaxies

    re: i reread your comment over and over and over again, just to drink in every little bit of it. it was so poetic and kind, and it might just be one of my favorite comments i've ever gotten. thank you.


    4 months ago
  • crystalline•galaxies

    i've been obsessing over this piece for a while, and i was finally able to get inspiration to write my own take on the prompt. here it is:
    https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/210885/version/436560
    thank you so much for the idea!


    4 months ago
  • Wisp

    Replying: Thank you so much for your kind words. Unfortunately WtW chose to unpublish the piece because it "violated their guidelines" and all that. The prompt was a delight and it really had me thinking. So thank you so much for it and the kindness in your words, they truly mean a lot.


    4 months ago
  • Yellow Sweater

    Sorry, I had to revise. Here is the new link: https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/210478/version/435172


    4 months ago
  • Yellow Sweater

    Incredible idea and so powerful. Thank you for the invitation. I wrote it as a weird poetry piece. Here is the link: https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/210478/version/435160


    4 months ago
  • BlueWolf (Semi Hiatus)

    This is spellbinding. I am speechless. I miiiiggghhhht (idk anything anymore) try this. (I want to but...)


    4 months ago
  • Wisp

    It took me a while, but I finally managed to write it. Here's my hand at it: https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/210218/version/434980


    4 months ago
  • Wisp

    "We write for two things: hoping that we, one day, will meet God, or become God; to hold power and add a new chapter in the Book of Creations with our own bites of scripture."
    "The fate of a writer is to love to suffer."
    Lovely piece, blew me away. I truly don't know what to say, because this piece left me speechless. And reading this, I don't know, it just felt like something I needed to read, to feel and to know. They say there are just some things you're meant to see and perhaps this is one of them.


    5 months ago
  • Zirong

    This is an extremely wonderful prompt to try :) And thank you for your comment! It made my day!
    I really want to share my attempt and here is the link: https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/209866/version/433243


    5 months ago
  • ~ carolina ~ {formerly rosi willard}

    Re: thanks. I know I don’t come off as a cynical person on this site but I am c o m p l e t e l y different irl. I’m just telling ppl how I actually am, I guess. I’m glad you liked it


    5 months ago
  • ~ carolina ~ {formerly rosi willard}

    tried this out:
    https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/209817/version/432658


    5 months ago
  • Madelyn (Carolina Girl)

    I love this piece because it is so raw. "But we live to bleed and bleed to live." and "The fate of a writer is to love to suffer." these lines just really stuck out to me. Well done.


    5 months ago
  • Karma’s_Coming

    aight, my hand has been tried, here it is.

    https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/208943/version/431011


    5 months ago
  • mirkat

    also can we just take a moment to appreciate your title?


    5 months ago
  • mirkat

    1. "and, most shamefully, the thesaurus that I keep by my bedside." this is me! i have thesaurus.com bookmarked and pinned for easy access because believe me-- i need it!
    2. "But we live to bleed and bleed to live." and "The fate of a writer is to love to suffer." blew me away... like seriously. i-- i had to read these two lines like 5 times before it registered because somehow you have unlocked my reason for being. i love this beyond belief. i might try my hand at this prompt, but frankly now i don't know where to begin... you've crafted this masterpiece. i will try, though, and we will see where it goes. thank you for this gift, it was so fun to read!
    p.s. i am going out of town until early next week so you won't see it for a while
    <3<3<3


    5 months ago
  • Karma’s_Coming

    Can I just... put this entire piece in my pocket? I just.... wow. I’ll definitely try my hand at this, but this is incredible.


    5 months ago
  • Quirky_Chaos

    HI!!! I loved this piece and want more! Also I saw that you read my piece " Her Velvet Lips" and I wanted to thank you for your comment!! It meant a lot! Anyway, I wanted to let you know that I just released part 2 of her velvet lips and i'd lovee you to read it! It is called " Can A Moment Last Forever"


    5 months ago
  • Minvra

    It is, indeed the truth. We're masochists. And unto thee—oof and a great writer's work always rubs onto me. This is amazing. Sometimes I wish I could bookmark specific works I absolutely love.


    5 months ago
  • pyrrhic

    the title captured my attention quite well, i'm not going to lie. the piece itself is STUNNING. i'm blown away. great work!


    5 months ago
  • Stone of Jade

    i am speechless after reading that. wow.
    /Words which we, with time, build into worlds and lives, they slowly take new forms and dawn new meanings to our subconscious/
    ^that hit deep. this whole piece hit deep. and you might not have meant it to be pretty, but the raw truth of this is beautiful. really well written


    5 months ago
  • BirdofPrey

    re: woah this peice is really great...left me without words. also thanks!


    5 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    wow this is stunning... idk if i'm write one, but if i do, i'll let you know :) hope you're well <3


    5 months ago