~wildflower~

Australia

15
she/her
Loves music, nature, poetry, emotive writing, thinking
Passionate about the environment
pianist, tall
~stranded amongst the stars any trying to work out the meaning of it all~
Joined April 2020

On hiatus

Message to Readers

Thanks to journal.scribbles and Minvra for their reviews on this piece!
I’d love to know what you think of this poem. Are there any places where you think I could change something or elaborate further? Is the message clear?
Thanks for checking out my writing!

Thoughts from within the cocoon

January 11, 2021

FREE WRITING

7
Every so often, I encounter myself
in the most peculiar places:
within crowds of people wearing grey suits
or cocooned between blankets patterned
with smatterings of empty stars 
eaten away by moths.

And I think about how easily 
complex souls are dulled to
clouds of efficiency,
just pairs of steel limbs within
an ocean of glaring silver;
all claps on the back for following orders,
for silencing the desires of their hearts
to do their bit, to play their part
in keeping the world spinning.

And then I think about the moths:
moths who spent their lives dancing
futilely around pretty lights and
carelessly flying through the night sky, 
all graceful movements, the freedom
flecked through a frail wind
held hostage within camouflaged wings 
that moved only
to find joy in the light;
indistinguishable, fragile moths who 
lived in the same house as me
and lived for less time than I
have spent sitting behind a desk
and, possibly, lived more than I
ever have.

And I ponder how the moths
were thanked only by their longing hearts 
for their lifelong, solitary odyssey,
for their selfish legacy,
and I wonder if that could be enough for me,
even as I know that my monotonous existence
is not.
Originally published: 17/12/2020
Draft: 2

Login or Signup to provide a comment.

10 Comments
  • useless :)

    re: thank you so much! yea, i started to write creatively (i had to write essays and stuff for school before) a couple days before i made this acc, so abt a week and a half! i also love ur profile pic, it's beautiful!
    nice to meet you! i'll definitely check out more of ur pieces later. ur an amazing writer :)


    3 months ago
  • useless :)

    wow, i know i'm a bit late but i feel like the best way to describe this, as blue jay said, is enchanting. the imagery is incredible and the whole piece is beautiful. you are really talented! :)


    3 months ago
  • Blue Jay

    This is amazing! It's so enchanting in a way, I love it! I love the use of "months", the whole poem is amazing in so many ways!

    re: Thank you so much! Helping friends when they are struggling is something that is very hard. I'm glad I could help somehow! I have the opposite problem, I struggle with rhyming, and set rhythms. Writing can be challenging sometimes.

    Spectacular work once again and have a fantastic day! :)


    3 months ago
  • remi'sgotinkstains

    this is breathtaking and spectacularly written! "for silencing the desires of their hearts" i like that line especially. superbly well done!
    Re: thank you so much! i'm pretty proud of my profile picture too! i love anne of green gables . . . i hold that series very close to my heart!


    3 months ago
  • Lata.B

    Wow the imagery here is so well done! This is amazing :)


    3 months ago
  • journal.scribbles

    Wow, I love how you've revised this!!! Somehow, it's even better than before. Amazing job!


    3 months ago
  • Arzu

    Re: Firstly, I'm so glad my comment helped :) Your writing is amazing and it's so good that some of your doubt has been removed
    Secondly, congrats on your letter to ur mp! I hope it makes them think. Have you heard back yet?
    I mostly only heard about the government 's gas-lead recovery plan because of the School Strike 4 Climate organisation's emails. Have you joined them? Another really great one is AYCC, which is less known, but is just as good. They have really great online workshops and summits now that we're living in a pandemic, and most of the stuff I've learned about climate change I've learned from them.
    It's so cool to know someone else passionate about climate change and writing so thanks for your comment!!


    3 months ago
  • Rachaelgrace

    re: thank you so much for your kind words. it means so much to me that you took the time to write to me! <3 <3


    3 months ago
  • Rachaelgrace

    I really loved reading the first version of this piece and enjoyed it just as much the second time. I feel like it might be one of the best poems published on here. Your work has the mark of a master because you use metaphors and imagery with purpose! Great job!


    3 months ago
  • Arzu

    Wow the metaphors and imagery make this a very powerful and striking piece of writing. I've read many pieces of writing about this sort of thing, but the comparison with the moths, and the understanding that their lives are selfish but also fulfilling really made me think- so thank you! And I really love your title- so creative!


    3 months ago