~wildflower~

Australia

15
she/her
Loves music, nature, poetry, emotive writing, thinking
Passionate about the environment
pianist, tall
~in love with the stars~
Joined April 2020

Message to Readers

I’m looking for some feedback on this one as I’m thinking of doing some further edits - anything at all would be helpful! Is the ending ok?

Thoughts from within the cocoon

December 18, 2020

FREE WRITING

13
Every so often, I encounter myself
in the most peculiar places:
within crowds of people wearing grey suits
or cocooned between thin blankets
patterned with smatterings of holes 
like little stars eaten into existence by moths.
And I think about how easily 
complex souls can be dulled to clouds of productivity,
just a pair of steel limbs within an ocean of glaring silver;
all claps on the back for following orders
and savoured congratulations for nothing at all.
And then I think about the legacy of the moths-
moths who spent their lives buzzing futilely around flickering lights and
carelessly flying through the night sky, 
all graceful movements, freedom 
flecked through a subtle wind and gathered within camouflaged wings 
that moved only to search for the light;
indistinguishable, fragile moths who 
lived in the same place as me
and lived for less time than I have spent sitting behind a desk
and, possibly, lived more than 
I ever have.
And I ponder how the moths were thanked only by their longing hearts 
for their lifelong, solitary odyssey
and I wonder if that could ever be enough for me,
even as I know that mere existence is not.
Originally published: 17/12/2020
Draft: 1

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13 Comments
  • Paisley Blue

    re: I've been good! Not nearly as active on here as of late, because I just got a typewriter (!!!) so i've been doing a lot more writing on that than online. The new year has started off well for me! You?
    (Also thanks, so glad you like my pfp :) I can never seem to decide on one!)


    about 2 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    Hi!

    I don't know if you've seen, but Wisp has a little prompt going around that's about thankfulness and stuff - here's the link, if you want to check it out: https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/210252/version/435933

    The reason I'm writing this comment is because I want to say thank you. You were one of the first people I really became friends with when I joined - it was early summer, and I remember telling my mom all about how there was another girl named Ella and we were friends! That was back when your username was still Daisy + Sage, right? Anyways, I'm always so happy to see you around here - you just have such a calming, happy presence. I am so glad I've been able to share a bit of my writing journey with you. I know we don't talk as much anymore but I wish we did! I miss chatting with you :)

    Anyways, hope your year has started well! Lots of love :)


    about 2 months ago
  • Zinniav

    This whole poem is wonderful, but I particularly love the beginning. beautiful, intriguing , reserved...


    2 months ago
  • happy butterfly

    replying:thank you so much<3


    2 months ago
  • Karma's_Coming

    re: just a quick synopsis, cause for me it was really confusing and I think this might help, and also I’m bored and might as well tell you what I know. It starts as 9am CST, so 7am PST, so on and so forth. Lasts 12 hours, but you can leave and come back whenever you wish. It’s on zoom with breakout rooms for specified workshops that you don’t have to sign up for, just show up if you want. There’s contests and literary magazines that are taking submissions. One of them even pays! You can register through their website and join the discord for more info as well. Sorry for the info dump.


    2 months ago
  • Karma's_Coming

    Re: no, although that one does sound fun. This one is by The Young Writers Initiative and it’s a zoom call for tomorrow. As far as I know, you can still register tonight depending on time zones. Here’s the link to their website if you’d like: https://www.tywi.org/


    2 months ago
  • birthdaycandles

    Awwh hi! Don’t worry about not keeping up with my work! That’s absolutely fine! If anything, I like people that stop by every now and then to say hello, than liking and comment every piece as a chore of some sort! Merry Christmas to you also <3

    I loooove the stream of consciousness throughout this piece it really adds a touch of phantasmagoria to it :) Brilliant!


    2 months ago
  • Ezinne Clare

    This is deep. I love it. Mere existence is definitely not enough.

    Thanks for the love on my piece, Midnight Mourns.
    Yes I joined wtw in March but I've been a bit inconsistent because of school work and a couple other factors.
    Aaaaaand, A Clare Misfit is a poetry chapbook I was working on around that time but its out and the link is in my bio. Please check it out, share and tell me what you think.
    Thanks again for the love, I really really appreciate. <3

    You're doing great btw, 140followers!! Congrats. 141 now though ;)


    2 months ago
  • Minvra

    Re: Your welcome.
    Personally, I think you're already making a difference by being honest. To not the world, but yourself. It's a good start. I still have trouble writing down my shames despite no one reading it. A lot of us pull up an air of confidence, which isn't complete confidence because we're constantly looking over our shoulders while walking.

    Also, yeah...School, the environment is easy-ish to focus in, but the homework and how abstract the stuff we learn from day-to-day application or young-adult hood and creativity doesn't help.

    We have to just...guess the importance or question. Heavens I found the reason why we study English or be "predacious" readers (forgot) (close-reads) out of a textbook most of us would never bother to read. We're focused on questioning if we should spend our energy on "if we're going to use this."
    I think they need to consult in the students and teachers (of all levels) to improve education (instead of just administration and government...) And not multiple choice surveys. It's very pointless if you can't get some specific criticism. A lot of us (not all no offense to anyone reading this) needs to also figure out how to research properly and with confidence and unhesitant. We have information at our fingertips. Also they may not have enough energy or time to do that sometimes with the varying amounts of homework...
    Oops. Got in a tangit. Sorry


    2 months ago
  • CactusKid

    this is beautiful! i love this part especially "just a pair of steel limbs within an ocean of glaring silver" :)


    2 months ago
  • AliMuscles04

    Re: XD thanks!! I don't think I came across you until today!


    3 months ago
  • Rachaelgrace (hiatus) :)

    This is so beautiful. I love how you used the metaphor of moths & light. I also love the rich, descriptive lines that the message is woven into. Fantastic job!
    Re: thank you so much for your comments! It means a lot to me, and I am so glad that you enjoyed my pieces <3


    3 months ago
  • Fariha

    Really like the adjectives you used to describe the piece!


    3 months ago