infp-a | 4w5

Message from Writer

"i am made of memories."
-madeline miller, the song of achilles

“for victory is victory, however small, nor is its worth only from what follows from it.”
-j.r.r. tolkien, the children of húrin

"he was determined to discover the underlying logic behind the universe.
which was going to be hard, because there wasn't one.”
-terry pratchett, mort

there's bugs painted on the tiles on the floor in the kid's section of nordstrom. i wonder what their names are.

December 18, 2020


this one is named bobby.
he's a caterpillar. one day he'll grow into a big giant fluffy moth that sits on lamps like all of the others. but not yet. now he's still a kid, and he really wants to leave. being a grown-up feels like ages away and he can't wait to fly underneath the big black sky and feel the air under his wings. how much longer must he wait for this? if he was brave enough he'd race right out the front door and not even tell anybody where he was. he's told to enjoy the moment and live while he's still young but he's so caught up in his daydreams that right now seems like something made up by bigger bugs to keep him from knowing what they know. he's restless and anxious and his chores are getting sloppy but who cares because the world is so much bigger than him and he can't wait to explore it.

this one is lydia.
she's super pretty. nobody has ever seen a butterfly with wings as bright as hers and she knows it. she poses in front of mirrors and notices that she looks really really beautiful. it's all she can think about. she seeks out her reflection and pauses to fix a stray tuft of fluff on her head. most bugs think she's stuck-up but in reality she just does it to escape the mess her head is in all the time. if she can control the things on the outside of her maybe it will make her look pretty on the inside, too. 

now this one is alex.
they don't really know what their place is in the world. butterflies look pretty, ants work together, and even cockroaches break down material. but you know what they are? they're a stick insect. all they're known for is sitting in one spot and blending in with the rest of the world. nobody even notices them, and it hurts sometimes, but isn't that what they're meant to do? they're not even destined to find a mate, like the other bugs. but honestly they doesn't even notice. the tiredness and loneliness makes its way into their brain, and it's like walking through a dream with no way to wake up. they weren't destined for anything good anyway.

this one is lenny.
he's a cockroach. he knows he's not exactly what most people would call "good," but he tries his best to not scare them away. people hit him with newspaper and turn away from him so they don't have to look at him. other bugs do that too. i mean, it doesn't really bother him but sometimes the other kids look at him weird and it makes him hurt inside. it doesn't matter to him, so why must it matter to everyone else? 

this is jacob.
he's feeling sad right now.

and this is samantha.
she wants a hug.


the tip of my pink, sparkly jelly shoe traces the last antenna. mom says it's time to go, that the shoes have been bought. holding tight to the balloon that looks like bubblegum, i wave good-bye to all the friends i made. they smile back up at me from their glossy squares that they have been confined to. i put my fingers to my lips, letting them all know that their secrets are safe with me. it's the least i could do.

i mean, they're all parts of me, after all.


See History
  • December 18, 2020 - 11:41pm (Now Viewing)

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  • Paisley Blue

    re: well i am glad you liked it :) and yeah, i guess we do have opposite problems lol XD

    5 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    re: haha yeah i'm good, idk where that came from, i honestly don't like it. like, at all. so i might take it down soon.
    also, i absolutely love your new pfp!! all of them so far have been awesome!!! :) i always wish i could change mine up but i get so attached lol
    hope you're well too!

    5 months ago
  • journal.scribbles

    Wow! This is so creative and unique and amazing and just wow, I love this piece so much!! *continues gushing into infinity about the amazingness of this piece*

    5 months ago
  • Caleb Urlacher

    the title captured my interest. how do yall come up with these lol. took my mind back to this old bookstore near my hometown, it's got phone numbers and names and drawings everywhere. your writing oozes emotion, love it.

    5 months ago
  • beth r.

    this is incredible. the last paragraph transported me back to my mall's Nordstrom, like being nine again. really don't know how you do it.

    5 months ago
  • Wisp

    Replying: Your comments!!! OH MY GOSH THEY'RE SO SWEET!!!!
    Yes! The title does mean Achilles in ancient Greek! I feel like that's interpretation given by the readers, because explaining it and getting a reader's perspective is just so brilliantly different that I don't want to ruin that marvel.
    Funny story about that piece actually. It was supposed to end up as this love story of some sort about two people meeting or whatever, that's why the first part doesn't have any Greek mythology references. But then I wrote it and I was listening to "Achilles, Come Down" and I was like oh, this is what we're doing now. So that's how the piece came together haha.
    And ahhh your sweet comments are just everything and I literally cannot smiling right now!!!

    5 months ago
  • Wisp

    Ahhh dearie (yes I'm going with the grandmother talk)!!! That ending was so bittersweet and it made me tear up a little. You made each bug connect to a part of you and that is just so eternally beautiful that I have no words for it because it's such a wonderful way to portray yourself. Each tie in, each emotion, each downright coldhearted feeling encompassed in these insects, oh my gosh they work so well. You capture so much, you give so much away in this piece and gosh it's just brilliant. You have a way of pulling at heartstrings, a way with making me feel things all over again. You are a brilliant writer and I am in awe of everything you write dear. Ahh, this piece I just cannot get enough of it.
    Replying: yes yes yes, that piece was for you!! You made me smile so much this morning before I had to get on Zoom. You're just the sweetest and I adore you so so much. I know you're in person school yourself, so I hope you take care and stay safe! And before I forget, I've been loving your new profile pictures!

    5 months ago
  • rwong

    omygoshhhhhh asjdf;lkasjdf;l did i comment on your old draft? ok if i did, sorry that you need to see me freaking out over how good you are; if i didn't, here's what i wanna say: i loveee how this is kinda nostalgic and its just simply so amazing and ajls;dkfa;skldfj yea idk what to say <3 <3

    5 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    Re: :) I’m so glad it made you smile! :)
    And awww!! Thank you so much!! That means a lot to me! :) <3

    5 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    I don’t have words to explain this. It’s beyond amazing, but I’m not sure I have the right word to describe it. It’s spectacular. But so so much more. *insert heart eyes* just..... you are so so talented.

    5 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    Re: thank you! And that’s okay; I’ll re-do one here for you to read.

    5 months ago