~madeline~

United States

euphoria fashioned from stanzas of

disillusionment

est. 8.19.20

Message to Readers

<3

if

December 15, 2020

FREE WRITING

14
if is a cruel word of comparisons
and possibilities and wondering.

if only i was smarter.
if only i was skinnier.
if only i was prettier.
if only i was more likable.
if only. 

why isn't just being me enough?

they say that as long as you do your best
your doing well. but nobody really
believes
that's true. 

if only i didn't have to begrudge every moment i spend on myself saying i should be studying.
if only i didn't have to hate myself for every ounce of sugar i consume. 
if only. 

and even then we still haven't touched upon the 'what if's'. 

what if they're going behind my back?
what if they would rather be hanging out with someone else?
what if everyone is judging me?
what if they're just being nice?

and i know i'm not alone, but i'm too afraid to talk.
because... 
what if they laugh at me?
tell me they're not really my friends?
that i am actually alone.

what if?

if only. 

if only we could be content with our limitations and boundaries. 
what if i didn't have to wonder if people were judging me?
if only i knew i was content with the people who i know love me. 
what if we didn't have to compare ourselves to others?

if is a word of cruel comparisons. 
what if we didn't have to use it?
PSA. you are beautiful and wonderful and you don't need to compare yourself to anyone or anything. 
A lesson i still need to learn myself. 

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  • December 15, 2020 - 1:45pm (Now Viewing)

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11 Comments
  • Bhavya's Treasure

    Oh my! This is just so powerful. These 'if's and 'what if's are indeed cruel sometimes...
    Now I'm feeling more confident about myself after taking this dose of positivity from you.
    Sorry for being so inactive. I'm still trying to get up from the ground on which I've fallen. :))
    Good day, Madeline! (aka Mistletoe :D)


    8 months ago
  • In Which Yaya Writes

    Wow, this is really deep. I don’t deal as much as the “if onlys” as the “what ifs.” But you gotta remember that even if you’re not ‘perfect’, even if your friends really don’t like you, even if all of these things are true, God still loves you! (Ironic how I used “if.”) Great piece, though!
    And here is your link for the newest part of The Newbie and the Maze! https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/208699/version/430541


    8 months ago
  • Caleb Urlacher

    Don't conform to what culture wants you to be. I'm very sure you are awesome in your own way. This quote sums it up pretty well: “You are not what others think you are. You are what God knows you are.” Even if you aren't religious you are what you know you are. Other opinions only hurt if you let them. It's cool to be different, might as well embrace it/


    8 months ago
  • Sunflower~

    So honest, I love it! ;) Everyone beat me to it, but you are beautiful and wonderful too! And you have amazing talent as a writer ;)


    8 months ago
  • pyrrhic

    'if' has always been my enemy. beautifully said. i also love your footnotes, and i wish you well on learning your own beauty <33


    8 months ago
  • ghostyboi

    Wow, this is a beautiful piece, well said!


    8 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    Re: <3333


    8 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    amen. This is gorgeous and an awesome reminder. *councilor mode with Rosy* You can talk to me too!


    8 months ago
  • Rose A(hiatus)

    Okay I am in absolute awe of this piece! But, I gotta go momma bear. You shouldn't be so insecure! You're an amazing person and an amazing writer! *Now counselor mode* You can talk to me if you need too! :)


    8 months ago
  • mirkat

    awwww yeah thank you so much for this! and just so you know, this totally and completely goes for you, too. have a wonderful rest of your day!
    <3<3<3


    8 months ago
  • | rosi willard |

    PSA: HOLY BONKERONI AND CHEESE, MADELINE, THIS-THIS IS WHAT EVERYONE NEEDS TO READ RIGHT NOW.
    BRAVO, BRAVO, BRAVO!


    8 months ago