if is a cruel word of comparisons
and possibilities and wondering.
if only i was smarter.
if only i was skinnier.
if only i was prettier.
if only i was more likable.
why isn't just being me enough?
they say that as long as you do your best
your doing well. but nobody really
if only i didn't have to begrudge every moment i spend on myself saying i should be studying.
if only i didn't have to hate myself for every ounce of sugar i consume.
and even then we still haven't touched upon the 'what if's'.
what if they're going behind my back?
what if they would rather be hanging out with someone else?
what if everyone is judging me?
what if they're just being nice?
and i know i'm not alone, but i'm too afraid to talk.
what if they laugh at me?
tell me they're not really my friends?
that i am actually alone.
if only we could be content with our limitations and boundaries.
what if i didn't have to wonder if people were judging me?
if only i knew i was content with the people who i know love me.
what if we didn't have to compare ourselves to others?
if is a word of cruel comparisons.
what if we didn't have to use it?
PSA. you are beautiful and wonderful and you don't need to compare yourself to anyone or anything.
A lesson i still need to learn myself.