I would like positive feedback only, please. It would be much appreciated, because this is such a personal piece. Thank you!
Written By: Lana-Rae
May 5, 2015
Anger inside. Pain. Misery. I just want this to end, already. My breath tastes like fire. My body shakes, convulses. Am I dying? It's very possible that I AM dying, but I'm dying very very slowly and noone else can tell but me. My parents know nothing of it anymore. They have no clue that I am bingeing and purging. But I can't tell them. They wouldn't understand.
My world is spiraling out of control. My heart looks like peanut butter. Second guessing everything. Can I just stay home from school? No, not today. Only eight days total until my last official day of school. I'm tired of being hated. Tired of feeling fat, hated and ugly. Tired of living. No way to end the hate that everyone has for me. That I have for me. Nobody truly likes me at school. I'm just the crazy girl. The psycho. The outcast.
Mom wants me to go back to the psychiatrist, to get back on my antidepressants. She can tell I feel terrible. I finally agree with her: I wil go. Before graduation? Sure. Why not? I don't think they will help. I've been on antidepressants for ten years. It's never helped! It won't help now, either. Nothing matters anyway. Cut off from the world.