mirkat

United States

she/her│infp-a
est. 10/15/20

"take me with you, finished thing"
"too dizzying to love anywhere
but from a distance"

have an ineffable day!

<3<3<3

Message from Writer

thanks to paisley blue, rwong, wisp, and crystalline galaxies for all the love and support.

scribble chums with remi'sgotinkstains, useless :), and Starlitskies.

i think i'm a broken umbrella?

take a deep breath and
let tomorrow dissolve
into today;

weakness

December 14, 2020


paper-thin doors never helped anyone, least of all me. 
i hear it all-- the gasps between each sob, the hitch of her quiet moans.
she's trying to be silent so that we don't suspect a thing, so that we don't rush to her aid.
but i know we wouldn't be helping, just ruining one of the few moments she has alone.

hot tears stream down her face mixing with the pain that boils just under the facade her skin-- because that's all skin is, a covering stretched too thin to hold the emotions within.
and i know for sure it's not crocodile tears, it feels all too real for that.
she's alive and her tears are too. an extension of her agony, a throbbing ache welling to the surface.
i bet her face is scorched with the burning drops of misery and grief, anguish and anxiety.

i slide to the floor, using the closed door as my crutch.
i know it's been hard on her but i had no idea it has come to this.
i even sense the faint odor of human desperation lingering in the air, wafting in from the living room.
i imagine she's sitting at the dining room table, head in her hands. there are more streaks of gray threaded through her hair than before. it's splayed out around her, a halo.
instead of an angel, she's calling for one.

she utters daddy's name, and i cringe, clenching my own eyes shut.
there was a distinct crack in her voice, one that started in her heart and in her mind.
maybe it's in her soul now, too.
she's breaking from the inside and soon the pieces won't be big enough to pick up.

it's a terrible thing when your mom breaks down and you hear it all through the flimsy door.
i open my eyes and lean my head back so that it rests on the door.
that damn door.

 

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22 Comments
  • BlueWolf (Semi Hiatus)

    This was indescribable. Beautiful agony. The atmosphere was so real. The perspective was amazing. The concept was heartbreaking. It was all a stunning little bundle of words weaved into a piece that makes me want to cry.


    5 months ago
  • ~Aurora~

    Okay this is an absolute, beautiful masterpiece. You have an incredible talent!
    Also, thank you for your kind words on my post. It means a lot.


    5 months ago
  • CrazyNinjaKid

    ok, this hit really, really hard. especially the last line. wow-


    5 months ago
  • The Sapphic Society

    thank you for your sweet words, it means a lot! also, god this piece just slammed me in the chest and twisted the knife. It hurt in such a beautiful way. This is a gem, don't mind me as I binge the rest of your works.


    5 months ago
  • Rose A(hiatus)

    re: Well... not together. the pears were separate. I don't know what to say about the pizza. It was square so I'm assuming it was a breakfast pizza... idk. instead of cats, I'll have random kids stand behind the window and watch me in my zoom. Well, not really random, they're the kids at my mom's job.


    5 months ago
  • rwong

    aaanddd i didnt comment on this. *sigghhhh* but mir, this is an absolute masterpiece. i love it and it's literally tearing me apart bc it's so heartbreaking gaaahhh all the emotions ajsklf;jasd;flkjsadf anyway i really hope you're doing well <3 <3 all my love and hugs and doggo kisses <3


    5 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    re: "you really think about it and form the emotions into beautiful packets of... words..." this made me laugh, thank you for that ;) you're so kind, ahh!! it makes my day whenever i see you in my notifs :) awww i'm touched that you're inspired by me! sounds like we can be each other's inspiration buddies ;D i'm so thankful for your presence here. I can definitely call you one of my best friends on here <3 love you, dear!!!


    5 months ago
  • Rose A(hiatus)

    this was so emotional and breathtaking and heartbreaking and just spectacular. wow. This was just so amazing and wowwww. I agree with Paisley Blue. Your writing is always so powerful and inspiring and sometimes tear jerking. I hope things are good for you. :)
    re: I don't really have that much snow either. just cold. I don't really feel cold, but my parents hate it.


    5 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    ahhhhh this just made me crumple up a little inside... gosh this is absolutely painfully beautifully heartbreaking. The beginning yanked me in; i didn't know why she was in so much pain, but it broke my heart anyways. when you mentioned her saying the MC (your?) dad's name, that just.... wow. I don't have words for how powerful that was. And the ending... gosh. i cannot tell you how this made me feel but it was so so powerful and emotional and heartbroken. I am so in love with your poetry--you really have the emotions down, and i admire that (i get too caught up with imagery for the emotions to really hit. and maybe i just don't know how to handle accepting emotions enough to put them into writing) point is, your poetry inspires me so much! <333 love you, dear. if you ever need anything, lmk, ok? i'm so glad to be your friend <333


    5 months ago
  • beth r.

    why... how do you write so beautifully?
    re: glad you'd be interested in a collab! I put some details in this piece: https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/207975/version/428562
    Stay tuned for more details to come on a potential story chain!


    5 months ago
  • The Secret Society of Purple Iguanas of Death Online

    I’m back. I commented this morning and I just thought you should know this is so good! Like, it’s been on my mind all day and I shared it with a friend (outside wtw) because of how hauntingly beautiful it is. Anyways, :D
    Also, noticed the board and I like dodie too


    5 months ago
  • anemoia (#words)

    ahhh i'm in your message board! just noticed, tysm<3<3 hugsss


    5 months ago
  • anemoia (#words)

    re: ok i don't have time for a long reply so i will get back to you more thoroughly later, but just letting you know that i so appreciate you and your honesty. i've made that error before in a peer review with poor word choice, so i went back and changed it (both on the review and my piece). i've since learned, and i really am grateful for friends like you are are willing to show me where i went wrong and how i can fix it. i'm sorry that i hurt you, but i am very glad that you pointed it out and were able to illustrate the impact and importance of my words. and i am also very glad that you forgive me. <3 i hope this comment finds you well!
    also did you hear about evermore?! wait are you a swiftie? no matter, just look it up...


    5 months ago
  • doodleninja

    also this piece is absolutely stunning and gut-wrenching, the strong verbs were so impactful, i could start feeling the pain myself. wonderful writing!


    5 months ago
  • doodleninja

    re: thank you so much! yeah, personality wise i am definitely a beth. hope you have a splendiferous day! :)


    5 months ago
  • A blind (young) man

    Whoah. Just... wow. Again you've made my eyes go hot, this is... words aren't working for me. Just amazing. Beautiful. Profound. Heart-wrenching. I don't know how to phrase praise in the ways (oops, rhyme) that this deserves, mirkat. I feel the grief, and wherever place this came from, my heart goes out to you.
    RE. You hit the nail right on the head for my piece "I'll untie my metaphysical shoelaces" , lol you actually made me think deeper about what I wrote. Realize another idea I was circling around sorta. Thanks for offering that support, I offer the same to you, if you ever need it. Poetry's good for this kind of thing I find, expressing stuff in a way we wouldn't normally talk.


    5 months ago
  • Mpm#1

    Wow mir, great work as always! This is such a beautiful and moving piece. I love how you end it with the lines, “ i open my eyes and lean my head back so that it rests on the door.
    that damn door.” I don’t know right now, but if you need anything let me know. I mean, I can’t do much other than listen, but I’m halfway decent at that! <3


    5 months ago
  • AJ - Izzy

    absolutely breathtaking, emotional, strong and beautiful <333


    5 months ago
  • The Secret Society of Purple Iguanas of Death Online

    This is breathtaking. I’m not even sure how to feel. You most definitely have a way with words.


    5 months ago
  • anemoia (#words)

    re: oh man. i'm sorry. i... don't know what to say. other than what i've already said. i'll always listen, even if i don't know how to help.
    but yay for smoothies!


    5 months ago
  • sunny.v

    "i imagine she's sitting at the dining room table, head in her hands. there are more streaks of gray threaded through her hair than before. it's splayed out around her, a halo." this is. this entire stanza was just so heartbreaking. you display raw emotions so blatantly here, i could feel them. i don't want to overstep, but if you ever, ever need an ear, my ig dms are always open.
    re: !!! thank u sm for the compliment on the piece!! aaaah youre making me blush kjdfnsdkj youre always way too sweet to me!! please dont be like me, i'm just. too much of a creature for my own good. thank u for brightening my day. i hope youre staying safe, love.


    5 months ago
  • anemoia (#words)

    oh my.
    the way you responded to this prompt.
    that last line speaks volumes.
    this line: "i even sense the faint odor of human desperation lingering in the air, wafting in from the living room."
    all of it.
    oh, gosh, i think you're tearing me apart. but are you okay? i'm here and i'll take you away from that door. it's gonna be ok. <3


    5 months ago