Peer Review by NothingsEverGoodEnough (United States)

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The new day (Review for Review because I love giving reviews, but I have no idea what to review.)

By: bookmagic


FREE WRITING

Short of breath, heart of steel,
Anxious thoughts take over me,
Sadness lurks, all to real,
Happiness is hard to keep;

An arrow shot high o'er the trees,
Struck a dove and made her fall,
Painted red a raging sea,
Collect her 'coo's and useless calls;

Footsteps falling on the ground,
The crunch and crash of bush and brush,
Will never cease to make a sound,
And running running through the marsh;

Fire consumes the helpless trees,
Nations invisibly devastated,
It's too late wipe it clean,
But someday a new one will be created;

One day of rest, of heart and song,
A glorious tune of light and joy,
Will travel through the happy throngs,
One day far away is near.

 

If you want, please send me a piece to review. I would also like a review on this piece. I'm thinking of entering it into my schools magazine.

Peer Review

The last paragraph was a different tone than the others in my eyes and I thought that the differing tone made it a really moving and well-written paragraph.


I wonder how different the poem would be if the author wrote it from the perspective of the dove or from the perspective of the tree that is in a burning forest.


Reviewer Comments

Really good piece. Exceptional use of rhythm. Loved it. Keep up the fantastic work!