Ren(hiatus)

Pakistan

16 years old
She/her
Muslim
INFJ (or so the internet says)
4w5

"I just wanna be happier, is that too greedy"
Blue and Grey by BTS

Message to Readers

Thank you for reading! Idk if this is good or not so please guide me XD. Feedback ie appreciated as always.

Stars burn out too

December 8, 2020

FREE WRITING

9
Constellations appeared among the sky
looking like little fireflies
but among the millions of stars
only you were prominent.

A blinding light covered you
somehow you were so bright
within the empty and dark night sky
you were my comfort and escape.

The string of fate wrapped
around me and you.
It was as if fate united us
so I let go of my worries
and watched you with fondness.

Slowly,the stars scattered
but I didn't think it mattered
beause you were still there.

I forgot that you were not a light
but a star
so I didn't recognize you burning out.

Your colour became pale,
the light surrounding you started to fade,
with you the red knot of fate started to break
yet I didn't notice
And sat watching you all night long.

Soon pieces of you started to fall
I said "oh look, a shooting star"
because I became naive to the fact
that things don't exist forever.

Finally you disappeared,
the string of fate had come completely undone
I hoped that I'll find the red string
leading towards you.

Some days I looked for you here and there
until I found a new star.

The universe who united us.
Also became the reason of our separation.
Though, I think that isn't why we left each other 
but I don't blame you or me.

You and I fell victim to human nature .
Though I whisper sorry every now and then.

 
This is kind of a mess? Though I wrote this keeping in mind "could you and I become distant memories?" I took inspiration from serendipity (BTS Jimin song) and an idea given to me by poetgoneonpluto! Please check them out.
Well if you could tell me how to fix this mess it'll kinda be appreciated.
Though do you relate because it is again about friendship, though I know I used red string of fate that's used for soulmates but friends can be soulmates too. 
If I'm wrong do tell me, anyways thanks for reading.

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  • December 8, 2020 - 11:31am (Now Viewing)

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6 Comments
  • Jason_claire :)

    replying- Thank you, either way, I feel super appreciated when someone takes time out of their day to write an honest comment. He's kind of a strange kid, he doesn't talk much and he shuts down his emotions a lot. I'm not really sure about why he stopped answering me, but I might have done something offensive or he got grounded, I dunno. I'm going pretty good now, thank you. I hope you're doing good as well. Yes, I do hope we can stay friends until they kick us out. It would be chill to meet you irl. Thank you again (for about the third time.)


    8 months ago
  • ChimChim_1

    Re: aww thank you, and that was the exact message its really nice to know others understand.


    8 months ago
  • ChimChim_1

    Re: Thank you, and that's good, btw this writing was really good


    8 months ago
  • Jason_claire :)

    Honestly, I'm not that good with poems, so I can't be all that good with help, but I can say that I enjoyed this very much. The story is so clear, and described so accurately. I do relate, there was this kid I was really close with in school and then the entire world just went bam and even though we used to talk a little bit, he stopped answering my texts and now we're here in silence. I do miss him though.
    replying- You are so kind, thank you so much. Half the time I only get things as nice as that from my two close friends, and sometimes I think they only say it to make me feel better. Your support makes me smile and appreciate the good in human life even though we don't live anywhere near each other. Maybe I'll get around to my parents, I'm sort of a non-confrontational person. When my brothers critique me it upsets me too because I know they're saying it because they don't really care about things I put effort into, but think giving negative feedback is the way to go. I'd love to meet you in person; I think we'd get along great. I am a little insane though..just a tad thank you again so much for commenting and being so kind to me here.


    8 months ago
  • Sunflower~

    Great piece!


    8 months ago
  • Busssy.Beee

    Woah, I am absolutely in love, "because I became naive to the fact; that things don't exist forever." those are my favorite lines. Overall, this is gorgeous!


    8 months ago