ghostyboi

United States

system of 15
he/it/void
don't perceive me as a human
in a constant state of derealization
winged wolf (pterolycus) therian
pfp made by me
joined september 2019

Nights Like These - Pigeon Pit
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Message from Writer

"It's alright, it's okay. You're not a monster just human and you made a few mistakes,"
-It's Alright by Mother Mother

"One page of the bible isn't worth a life,"
-The Village by Wrabel

"A hundred bad days makes a hundred good stories and a hundred good stories makes me interesting at parties,"
-100 Bad Days by AJR

"I thought you had me in prison this whole time, but I'm the one holding the key."
-Intro III by NF

"But there's a moment when you realize parents aren't superheroes or villains. They're painfully, unforgivably human. The question is can you forgive them for being human anyway?"
-Dry by Neal Shusterman

"If I wait 'til my tomorrow comes is the waiting all I've ever done?"
-Ben Platt

childhood bullies part ii

December 6, 2020

FREE WRITING

14

note: in this time period i presented as female

mason.
i should have reported you when i had the chance. but i didn't have the guts. just like the others couldn't either.
you had me fooled. you made friends with my friend, and you made friends with me. you ate lunch with me, joked with me, looked out for me. i was a fool to think it was because i was a likeable person. no, you were just there to take advantage of me.
when you asked me to be in a relationship with you, i smiled and said my parents wouldn't allow it. i just wanted to make an excuse. i didn't know my sexuality, my identity back then. i couldn't speak up for myself either.
you said "it'll be our little secret."
so i came up with excuse after excuse.
every time, you manipulated me into saying yes. you would sit next to me in homeroom and put your arm around me. put your hand on my thigh. you would hug me and kiss me and i wouldn't have the guts to say stop.
when you found out about my issues with depression, you used it against me. you made yourself my only support so i would have to be with you. you made yourself seem like the only comfort i could have. so i didn't say stop because i thought you were helping me.
finally, i was done and told you through tears that i might not even like boys. i said i wasn't ready for a relationship. you remember what you said? i do. every word of it.
"you never know until you try it..."
i didn't have the guts to say stop.
but my friend did. she told him to leave me alone. she helped me get away from you.
you never got the chance to assault me, but you would have in a heartbeat.
it wasn't just me either. i don't know how many more people you tried that with, but i knew one of them and heard of another. we were all quiet and alone, easy to prey on.
you are the reason for my trust issues. now i second guess everyone who gets close to me. you are why i'm scared to be in a relationship. you are why i don't let people close to me.
mason, i wish i could say i forgive you like i forgive the others, but you are the one that i can't forgive.
read the first part here. read beth r.'s original piece here.
this is hard for me to talk about, but i needed to post this.
unfortunately, there are a few more people i could talk about, so i might continue this series.

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  • December 6, 2020 - 12:28pm (Now Viewing)

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7 Comments
  • rafaelsolanoishot

    ugh f mason he sounds like such a douche, sorry he treated you that way:(


    about 2 months ago
  • AstroWriter

    Omg! This should never happen to anyone... Can I ask you a question? Are you transgender cause that's so cool!


    8 months ago
  • Sunflower~

    This is heartbreaking... I hope that you are doing better now ;)


    8 months ago
  • Kate (Kit-Kat Sully) {Child of God}

    These are so sad... :(


    8 months ago
  • AbellePuppy34

    I'm so sorry that happened to you! You don't deserve to be treated that way, remember that.


    8 months ago
  • Jj101

    Re: Thanks. I'll think about it and probably reread the comment a bunch. Wishing the best for you <3


    8 months ago
  • FantasyOtter12

    This is so sad :_( all the best vibes go to you <3


    8 months ago