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i'm a Catholic and a day-dreamer, that's all (:
most of my stuff sounds the same tbh :/

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sup dudes :P
I'm probably not here right now, I'm probably lost in my mind somewhere, trying to sort my *bleep* out :PPPP
nO pAin, No GAiN

a letter i wish i could send to my childhood bully ( inspired by beth.r )

December 5, 2020



*warning- there is a little bit of bad language in this piece, just from quotes of what someone said, so my apologies. giggles doesn't like to swear on here, so just a warning if it makes you uncomfortable, I'm sorry and you don't have to read on if you don't want to <33 *

Dear Ella,
               I know that technically I shouldn't be writing this letter, your mum made it clear to my mother that I wasn't even to look in your direction ever again; even though, I don't believe that I did anything wrong. But, here we are. Sorry if I did do anything wrong. 
          The only thing I did was tell my mum what you were doing, and then she rang your mum and told her. I never asked my mum to ring yours; I was just hurting and didn't know what to do, so I went to my parents. Maybe it was wrong of me to do, but I didn't see any harm in doing so at the time, I was just a scared 12 year old girl who didn't want to get called rude names or physically hurt anymore. Just a tired 12 year old, that sounds about right.
           I think it was about a month or two into my first year at secondary school, I don't exactly remember the date. I remember what happened though, It's a little bit hard to forget. You probably don't remember, or maybe you do, I don't know. Anyways, I was walking down the art corridor with my friend, I was happy. As you would, it was Thursday evening and I was making my way to the bus park to head home. That's aside from the point, I was walking down the art corridor with my friend, the walls of the art corridor were plastered with paintings and drawings; wonderful artwork. My friend and I were admiring them as we walked, I pointed one out to her; a drawing of Ed Sheeran, my favourite artist at the time. I was saying how good of a drawing it was and how I loved Ed Sheeran and his music. I didn't mean anything by "I love Ed Sheeran," it was innocent. You pranced down the hall with a girl who looked to be in your year, handbag on your shoulder and hair in a high ponytail. You shouted from behind me, "Stop touching the art, you slut." Then, you pranced on ahead of me, looking back and laughing. I slowly walked, my friend told me what you said, but I ignored and said that I didn't hear. I did hear. 
          Now, I'm no expert on bad language but I am pretty sure that I am not a "slut." Considering the fact that I have certain religious beliefs regarding romance, have never had a boyfriend or kissed anyone. I don't roll my skirt and I don't really talk to boys. Even If those things didn't apply to me, it still gives you no right to call me a slut. It's not a very nice nickname, for anyone.
          The last time that you ever did anything to me was about three or four moths after the first incident, where you called me a slut. Anyway, this time we were on the bus to the depot. Not the one that takes us home; the one to the town centre. I believe it was a Friday, a lovely start to my weekend, really. I don't think I've ever had a better one. I mean, nothing screams "what a wonderful weekend," than getting harassed on a bus by your childhood bully, and her friend, both of whose parents are family friends, I felt like I was living in a movie, at the part where the character's life peaks. I was upstairs on a double-decker bus beside a different friend, we were talking about the clarinet. Your two friends sat down behind my friend and I, you stood beside them. Megan stuck her head in between the gap of the seats and whisper-screamed into my ear "Who is a bitch to Coraaaa?" I didn't appreciate that. I hadn't spoken to your little sister in 3 years, she moved schools to get tutored for the entrance test, we never ended on bad terms; we were friends. I was scared and froze, my friend looked at me confused; I was embarrassed. It was then that you decided it would be great to make a rude comment about my hair, run your fake nails through it and begin pulling on it. I couldn't wait to get home and wash my hair, after a good cry of course. 
          These things may sound like pittens to you Ella, but they meant a lot to me. You were in my brother's class, you were friends. You used to come to my birthday parties, I still have the birthday card that you made me for my 8th birthday. You are 3 years older than me; you shouldn't have even picked on someone your own size, that's also rude. My apologies for ranting, but I would like my time back. I want the strands of hair that you ripped out back. I would like an apology instead of just a "well tell your daughter never to even look at mines again, my daughter would never do anything like that, just look at her grades, she's getting straight As." 
         Again, maybe I did do something wrong. Sorry if I did. But twelve year old me doesn't see where I went wrong. I was scared that you would take it further. I asked for help, and I'm glad that I did. Anyways, you probably will never read this, but if you do, thank you for taking the time to read it. As much as you hurt me, I still thank you for hurting me, you taught me how to be strong. Thank you for teaching me to get up in the morning even when I don't want to and fight even though I was going through hell, I don't think I would have made it through some of the things I've been through in the past year if you never caused me the hurt that you did. 
I'll respect your mother's wishes now, I'll stop writing. I haven't looked in your direction in about two years, apart from that one time where I caught you looking at me shorty after my mum rang yours, so I looked you in the eyes. But, I promise you that I will never look in your direction again, and I will try my best never to think of you again. Thank you for putting me through the hurt that you did, it taught me a lot, but I'm done with you hurting me. I'm letting go of it, I'm not going to let it bother me anymore. 

Good luck in all you do in the future, I wish you the best health, happiness and success for the rest of your life.

Lots Of Love And Thanks,
The girl you tore apart at 12 years old. 
beth.r's piece that inspired me to do this-Write the World - what do you wanna say to your childhood bully? *footnotes*


See History
  • December 5, 2020 - 5:40pm (Now Viewing)

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  • Bhavya's Treasure

    'I want the strands of hair that you ripped out back.' Loved this!!
    You must be feeling so good after venting this out, no?
    I loved the way this letter flows, it's like watching a short documentary and the ending is bubbling with optimism since you had the eyes to see that silver lining.
    I just can't imagine my giggling girl with tears in her eyes...

    Re: I'm sorry for the late reply but I was so so HAPPY to see you checking up on me! I've started with college and still trying to come back here. Thanks once again... :)
    Happy giggling! XDD

    10 months ago
  • Vicarious

    1. Thank you so much for the comment you left on my last piece! I am indeed doing well, but I wanted to convey how I felt during this whole year. Once again, thank you!
    2. This writing piece is so sad, yet so moving. As someone who had dealt with bullies in the past, I experienced these feelings you wrote down. This truly enraptured me.

    11 months ago
  • Jj101

    I’m really sorry you had to deal with this. But I’m glad you learned to be thankful for it because it made you strong. Wishing you the best!
    Re: Thank you!

    11 months ago
  • Mpm#1

    This inspires such rage. I want to cry though too. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that catty butthead. There are such miserable miserable people in the world. :( <3

    11 months ago
  • ~Zoe~

    re: I'm ok, thanks, I really appreciate that thanks a lot<3

    11 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    AHHH i had a mini heart attack when you said "Ella"!!!
    okay but in all seriousness, this is so powerful, and it's terrible what you went through. i'm so so so sorry that you had to put up with this. <333 the ending, though, was what really caught me--how you thanked her and ended the letter politely. that... that's pretty amazing. it really shows how wonderful and sweet and what an amazing person you are :)) all my love!! <3

    11 months ago
  • The Inky Writer

    Reading this piece, was so moving. Your writing was powerful especially at the end when you thanked her for putting you through the terrible things she did. I'm sorry this happened to you.

    11 months ago
  • Dmoral

    woah, talk about a CLAP BACK!

    not only were you nice yet direct about it, but i could still sense the slight power she has over you like in the line "But, here we are. Sorry if I did do anything wrong. " and love, i'm glad you have the courage and strength to not only write this piece---but publish it. i don't normally stray to read this kind of writing, but you made me break away from myself and i wholeheartedly enjoyed this message and your relay of events. And your ending, "Thank you for putting me through the hurt that you did, it taught me a lot, but I'm done with you hurting me. I'm letting go of it, I'm not going to let it bother me anymore." was amazing and felt empowering.

    11 months ago
  • mirkat

    re: yep, either 8th or 9th. so i'm in 8th where i am one of the oldest, but if i was in 9th i would be one of the youngest. all depends. i think you could go into either, probably 9th. it's so cool learning about different school systems and things like that! <3<3<3

    11 months ago
  • Jason_claire :)

    It's interesting (not the word I wanted, but my brain wants to sleep) that I feel what you mean. That you pretend not to hear people when they trash your brain, but you know you do. I'm very hung up on little insults people say to me. The big stuff I can handle, but the small name calling and nick names that no one wants to hear really get to me. I admire your boldness to speak up about your pain. I don't know if I could be so brave. I like that you said sorry even though you don't think you did anything wrong. That type of humbleness if very hard to learn, and I marvel such forgiveness. I hate how people think that any child would make up some of the things their children do and say to another. Just because your child is academically succeeding doesn't mean they aren't capable of abusing another child. I know how hard it is to want to face life another day when so many bad things continuously get thrown in your face. I thank you for sharing this because I think its really brave of people to share personal stories like this, and I like that you put yourself out there. Sorry to throw in some of my own experiences, I don't want to take away from this beautifully written letter.
    replying- Thank you, I'm glad you liked it. I decided to use my real name an accept myself even though I don't really know who I am.

    11 months ago
  • mirkat

    re: wow... schooling where you live is a lot different from america! sounds so cool and i totally learned a lot... wait so after age 16 you can choose not to do a levels!? woah, cool! a levels also sound so fancy... schooling in america basically consists of preschool for ages 2-4 (altho it is totally optional and all preschool are private, not run by state or country.) then ages 5-11 there is elementary school which consists of kindergarten thru fifth grade. ages 12-14is middle school (used to be called junior high) or 6th thru 8th grade. i'm in 8th rn. then there is high school for ages 15-18 which is 9th thru 12th grade. then you can choose to not go to college, only go to a 2 year community college, or go to 4 year college/university thru state or private schools. yeah, that's an overview... <3<3<3

    11 months ago
  • Jj101

    Re: Thank you so much that made me feel a bit better:)

    11 months ago
  • AliMuscles04

    Re: I honestly have no idea what the answer is to either of those questions :(. I literally have around 300 books and I've read sooo many... Historical romance books are the ones that interest me the most, though
    I guess one of my favorite Disney shows is Lion Guard.

    11 months ago
  • rwong

    re: i agree!! why would anyone hurt a dog like that?? they're so sweet!!
    also the way you stay warm in ireland is SO COOL!! i sound so stupid rn lol it sounds like i've never seen the world before or something but that is still. AWESOME!! i feel like my knowledge on other countries is sooo limited XD
    ah i totally understand i'm also leaving in 4/5 years but my parents pretty much adore my dog so hopefully we're all good. <3

    11 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Re: Oh, thank you so much for your kind comment. It brings me so much joy to know that I have brought some to you.
    P. S. Lol I guess you just have the same vibes lol. I'm glad she no longer holds you back from what you love. No pressure if you don't want to write something inspired by him tho.
    Thank you for what you said about my piece! That image fits it perfectly.
    I'm doing pretty well overall. I appreciate your prayers, and I pray for you, too. <3

    11 months ago
  • Love, Rose

    re: thanks so much - it is latin and from the book the handmaids tale and it means - dont let the bastards grind you down - which seems quite fitting for the piece of writing.

    11 months ago
  • rwong

    re: awww i would take home sadie in a heartbeat!! she seems really sweet. a note with dogs who have faced trauma, as i said i have a rescue and we know nothing about her backstory. she's actually really scared of our central ventilation (ac/heater) and freaks out when it kicks in; we have no idea why. do you know what happened to Sadie that caused her eye injury? it's typically a lot easier to figure out what to avoid if you know before hand :D i really really hope that you can take her though!! let me know if you do plsss
    awww i'm really sorry it sounds like you really prepared and worked hard for your hamsters to come home!! :( oh and i totally understand people telling me to get a longer-lifespan pet...i'm really scared for the day when my dog passes. luckily she's still two so hopefully we have some time before then! hmm have you thought about turtles? ik they're not super interesting but i think they tend to live a long time. but i totally get it turtles soooo do not measure up to having a dog or something that you can pet and play with. (no offense to turtle lovers, i think they're awesome pets, just that dogs are better) and yes don't worry i think all parents are like that *sigh* somedays i wish i had like a super animal-loving family so we can have a whole bunch of doggos :)

    11 months ago
  • mirkat

    oh that sounds hard but you did it! ella's (and her mom's) actions are inexcusable and i am so proud of you? altho i do wonder what (if anything) ella might have been going thru...
    re: thanks! yeah, u r a 2006 baby, too! i was born in October, so a little later. the thing with fall birthdays is that you can be super young for your grade or what a whole year before entering kindergarten (idk, does Ireland have kindergarten? excuse my complete lack of knowledge of Ireland...) which is what my parents chose for me. which meansssss that i'm one of the oldest one in my gradeeee which kinda sucks and i have literally no friends older than me lol. <3<3<3

    11 months ago
  • Love, Rose

    im sorry for what you went through - now i hope you are doing better because sound like a proper great person

    11 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    Re: thank you so much!!!! :D :)))))))))))))))

    11 months ago
  • beth r.

    i despise ella. you're amazing, okay?

    11 months ago
  • rwong

    re: thank you for your comment!!
    yep yep i have a super large, 80 pound (sorry if you don't speak in pounds i still think america is stupid for not changing to the metric system lol) great pyrenees/border collie mix. she's a rescue. AND I KEEP CONVINCING MY PARENTS TO LET ME GET A SECOND ONE TOOOO!!!! my dad's like "yea sounds good" and my mom's a hard no which is vv sad :(( how old is your dog?

    11 months ago
  • rwong

    awww I’m so so sorry you had to go through this but I wanna let you know that I’m proud of you for being strong through this. All my hugs and love and doggo kisses <3 <3

    11 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    1. Thanks for the warning in the beginning.
    2. It is NEVER wrong to ask for help. Anyone who tries to tell you otherwise is trying to sell you something. ;P (please tell me you got that reference XD)
    3. Somehow I already got Ed Sheeran vibes from you? Like that just makes sense? Have you written about one of his songs or something?
    4. Her actions were so wrong, and her mom, an ADULT, gaslighting you is inexcusable.
    5. I'm so sorry that happened to you. It's horrible. I am glad that you at least see the tiny silver lining that is the strength you gained.
    6. I'm here for you. Always.

    11 months ago
  • AstroWriter

    Awww. I should probably do this prompt but idk. Just remember that Ella who picked on you was 3 WHOLE YEARS older then you so she must have been a big coward to pick a small kid 3 years younger her age. Anyway, good job!

    11 months ago
  • AliMuscles04

    YOU GO GIRL!!!!! Very well done!

    11 months ago