rwong

United States

est. 9/19/2020

write like you're running out of time

Message to Readers

ugh guys i'm really sorry this keeps being reposted my computer glitched or did something weird like that...
SORRYYYYYYYYYYYY will y'all forgive me *puppy eyes*?
anyway have a lovely lovely day/night

a letter to myself

December 4, 2020

FREE WRITING

15
breathe, shell/ it hurts/ i know it hurts/ breathe./ you're okay./ one bad grade won't kill you/ yes it will it's the last test before the final and unless i do well on this one my grade will never go up and/ breathe./ you're fine./ it's not the end of the world, shell/ yes it is i could've done so much better i— i studied for at least 4 hours i wasn't underprepared i knew the material i don't know how i screwed up like that getting a good grade now is impossible and i/ i know what happened/ breathe./ just breathe./ i'm trying/ okay/ look you are so much more that this grade/ okay?/ 5 years later i swear you won't even remember what this is/ your life does not depend on this test/ yes it does it will affect my overall and colleges might not accept me now and/ shell/ you can't let this letter define you/ you are so much more than this/ no i'm not/ yes you are/ now let me speak/ everyone/ everyone fails at least once/ now all you have to do/ is stand back up/ okay?/ i know it hurts/ scars take time to heal/ but you're strong/ you're stronger than this, shell/

because even if your grade reads differently, shell, you as a person are an A+ and that means you are good enough. and that will never, ever, change.
"shell" is a nickname that a few of my friends use, if you were confused :)
i don't know if this is regarding my past grades or my future finals which are currently looming over my head like a dark rain cloud. definitely both. 
anyway have an amazing day/night!!

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  • December 4, 2020 - 11:15pm (Now Viewing)

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26 Comments
  • Wisp

    You've been a huge support to me over these last few months and I just wanted to thank you for that. You have no idea how each kind word you give me makes me over the moon excited. You've given me confidence as a writer and you have always been so sweet. You see, recently I hit a milestone of 108 followers and I just wanted to personally extend my gratitude. I know it was just a simple click of a button to you, but you have no idea how much it has affected me in such a positive light. Truly, thank you.
    (Also, I'm doing a dust jacket, so if you have any questions, send them my way!)


    8 months ago
  • Wisp

    Oh gosh I definitely felt this. Last year I got my first bad grade on a test which dropped my overall grade and I felt exactly like this. It was to the point where I couldn't even open up my gradebook without my hands shaking and I would take ten minutes to mentally prepare myself before I checked it. And you described that feeling so well here. It pains me to read this because it strikes such a chord, it strikes a feeling that I have felt so much over the years of getting grades. And your wording is just so serene, it's as if someone was giving me a hug, as if someone was there to tell me it'll all be alright. This is just so wonderfully written, so wonderfully portrayed.


    8 months ago
  • Ree Sethu

    beautiful...


    8 months ago
  • lochnessie

    re: bahhh 6hours later she replies
    i just finished school for the year pretty much!! lolol but it's good! no more exams!


    8 months ago
  • lochnessie

    re: yeeesss the smell of christmas trees :o


    8 months ago
  • happygiggles (not as active anymore)

    re- That's quite scary, I hope she's okay, It breaks my heart to know that precious little doggos have faced trauma! ): I wonder what your dg went through if it's scared of your ac! We don't have ac in Ireland, we have oil heating, but we usually just light our fire instead, so I don't normally touch the heating.
    I'm not exactly sure what trauma she has suffered, she came in to the centre as a stray so they don't fully know what happened her. I suspect they have a vague idea, but I know that if I got a recue, it would be new territory for me, as I've only ever had a recue hamster, so I know that it would be a challenge and I'd have to be careful as it could still be healing from trauma.
    My dad mentioned turtles, but they usually have a lifespan of 10-80 years, which isn't ideal for us as I leave for University in the next 4/5 years and my parents would be left with a turtle, which from my research is quite a complex animal to look after.

    Your dog sounds adorable, it seems like ages since mines was two! I'm sure she'll stick around for a long time; live in the moment. ((:


    8 months ago
  • Love, Rose

    this is stunning


    8 months ago
  • lochnessie

    re: goal met for today then!!! anyway you can get a plastic tree if you really don't want that too


    8 months ago
  • happygiggles (not as active anymore)

    re- WOW. I just looked your type of dog up and it is ADORABLE. I don't normally use pounds, it's mainly grams and kilograms. But when weighing a baby we use lbs and ozs, so I had to search us the weight of your dog in kilograms. I assume it's quite a large breed. My dog turned 7 in November and is a boy named Olly (my sister named him after Olly Murs LOL!) I believe Bichions are small/medium sized dogs. He weighs 8kgs so 17.636981lbs. The dog I'm hoping to rehome came in as a stray but it's estimated that she is around 5/6. She suffered trauma to one of here eyes and is blind in it, but can see find out of the other one! I think she's the perfect fit for our house; she needs a home with another dog, a large garden and kids!

    I feel your pain about trying to convince your parents, mines are proving a little hard to budge! Olly is my sister's dog, but we treat him as a family dog. I've had four hamsters of my own, I took really good care of them, I did 8 months of research before I got my first one. But, a few of them had health conditions and I rehomed 1, so they've all passed away. (I had them all at separate times, don't worry, they weren't in the same cage!) I took their deaths super hard, especially the first one, and the last one that was fairly recent. My school have recommended to my parents that I look into something that lives longer and that is a little less fragile, I've been super close to Olly recently but I'm still looking for another pet, so that's why I'm recommending Sadie to my parents. Sorry, I went on a whole tangent there, but you get the idea. My dad is okay with the idea, but wants me to look into guinea pigs and build a big shed for them in the garden, but I don't know if they're ideal for me, I have to look more into it. My mum on the other side; she wants me to finish with pets. Why do parents have to be so hard to convince? LOL


    8 months ago
  • lochnessie

    re: hehe no! scouts is boys and girls and whoever now :) and noo you just have to put fizzy drink in the tree stand and then the sugar keeps it upright and keeps the needles on longer so it doesn't shed


    8 months ago
  • lochnessie

    re: hehe i wishhh and my immediate family is actually pretty small, usually we only have our actual christmas with four or five people lol but just PRESENTS for everyone!! and yes delivery day is lots of fun, except for when you get cuts all up your arms (pine needles are actual KNIVES who knew) and obviously the bruises and then your scout scarf gets tangled in the depths of tree and then you arrive at the MAYOR'S door with a tree and almost smash her window because it's six foot. that was delivery day this year. but yee lots of fun!


    8 months ago
  • lochnessie

    re: well just a lot of cousins and people and i have a step family too so that like triples everything XD and we're just the kind of family that gives a lot of presents lol. NO TREE??? my scout troop sells christmas trees as a fundraiser so we always have a six-foot tree lol :) very traditional. but also bruises on my shoulders from delivering trees around the neighbourhood in full scout uniform is less than fun


    8 months ago
  • happygiggles (not as active anymore)

    re- Thank you, I appreciate that, especially the doggo kisses! Do you have a dog? I love dogs! I have a Bichion and I'm trying to convince my parents to let me adopt a Collie named Sadie from a local rehoming centre! Ahhhh DOGS ARE SO CUTEEEEE :DDD

    This letter is really nice, really really nice. Wonderful. I hope you're okay, try not to stress over grades too much, they're only letters on a piece of paper, they don't define you. ((:


    8 months ago
  • lochnessie

    re: we buy/make a LOT of presents lol i have an extremely large family


    8 months ago
  • lochnessie

    re: thankyou :))) good!! we just put up our christmas tree and advent calendar and the whole house smells piney and nice and we have 31 gifts under our tree and it's still 19 days until christmas


    8 months ago
  • lochnessie

    shelllllllll
    ahhh


    8 months ago
  • beth r.

    k this is just too beautiful i love it
    re: aw thanks! lolllll


    8 months ago
  • mirkat

    re: oh you are back (ish)? that is so great! i go to a small (ish) k-8 school and the k-7 are actually already back, with a ton of restrictions of course... us 8th graders gotta wait till our county allows us back, as there has been lots of spiking and our county is huge. i can't wait to go back... i mean it will be totally different and we won't be changing rooms for classes anymore. just staying in our advisory rooms all day which is a bit dreary. it'll be good to get out of my house tho! they say after winter break or in fubruary we can (probably) go back. yeah. how is your school making it work? have a good weekend! <3<3<3


    8 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    Re: thank you so much!! Yes, it’s crazy to think it’s almost Christmas. <3333


    8 months ago
  • serein

    re: thank you so much! you are so kind! good luck with to you with any schoolwork you have coming up!


    8 months ago
  • Sunflower~

    I think we can all relate to this! This is a good reminder, especially with finals coming up... ;)


    8 months ago
  • serein

    Oh my goodness I relate to this on a major level. I also needed to be reminded of this badly, because I have exams coming up and a big research paper....So lets just say I'm terrified..


    8 months ago
  • wavewriter

    So relatable... bad grades have a way of getting you down, but they don't define you!! Terrific job putting this into words and so beautifully too!


    8 months ago
  • mirkat

    re: forgot my reply! first thanks for that. second glad u feel the same sometimes. third online school fries my brain...


    8 months ago
  • mirkat

    ahhhhh i totally get this... it's a lot. it sucks. but you get through it. i think u did an amazing job of conveying confusing thoughts and that internal struggle that all of us have. well good luck on ur tests! i think u will be just fine, shell. <3<3<3


    8 months ago
  • | rosi willard |

    Just know that your grades don't define you as a person.
    Stay safe.


    8 months ago