A. Penderwick

United States

She/her/hers

Reading
Writing
Acting
Singing
Dancing
Ranting
Existing
Baking
Cooking
Eating
Feminism(-ing?)

And also dogs.

Message to Readers

So, rereading this before publishing, I realized that it might have some implications toward suicide, which was in NO WAY my intention at all. This was actually inspired by a VR game that I played at a friends house, where the object is just to jump off a plank(it's a weird game). I was just thinking about how real it felt(VR is kind of insane), and I decided to write a poem, because as a writer that's just what I do. But, if you are having suicidal thoughts, please talk to a trusted adult or call a suicidal hotline. Just remember that your life IS worth living.

Elevator(message box)

March 1, 2021

FREE WRITING

8
I'm in an elevator.
The walls are paneled with dark mahogany wood.
The ceiling is the texture of velvet
and the color of a ripe plum.
Soft music plays in the background.
It sounds like a song I should know, 
but I can't put my finger on what it is.

The ride up should be peaceful. 
Nothing is wrong, but I feel like something should be.
I have a lingering sense of dread in my stomach.
A knot of anticipation that doesn't allow me to think straight.

Seconds later, the elevator stops. 
The doors slide open.
I have a deep sense of foreboding.

And suddenly, I can see.
I look out upon a bright city,
full of buildings and streets and pedestrians.
The sky is a gorgeous blue.
No clouds are visible.
For a moment, I admire the view.
The colors are bright, brighter than should be possible.
It seems, fake somehow, but also
far too real.

And then I look down.
I see a wooden plank,
the same dark shade as the walls of the elevator.
It's maybe a foot or two across
6 feet long. 
And hundreds of feet above the ground.

I never thought I was scared of heights.
Today is the day I'm proven wrong.
My legs are frozen, they can not move.
My heart is beating faster than a hummingbird's wings.
My breath catches, I'm terrified.

I walk back into the elevator, but it won't go back down.
I'm stuck here. 
There's only one way to escape,
and that is to jump. 
I try to take a step forward-

but I can't.
My stomach lurches, as and I try as hard as I can to lift my right foot.
My eyes close, but I force them open. 
Every part of me wants to turn back, but I force myself to move forward.

I wish I could just leap off the plank, graceful and free as a bird.
But I'm not that brave.
Not that strong.

I know my will is about to collapse, so I clench my fists, and run off the plank.
And then I'm falling. 
And it's terrifying, and my heart is racing and I'm shaking and my muscles are tight and the fear is paralyzing.
But it's also kind of peaceful. The buildings, whose bright colors felt so scary before,
now seem fun. They remind me of candy, or a child's pla room.
And I look down and I can see the people milling about on the street.

And I'm getting closer to them every second.
And suddenly, the ground is there, right in front of my face.
And I fall, adn there's a thud.
And everything turns white, and disappears.
 
This is a very conversational kind of poem, but I kind of like it.

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  • March 1, 2021 - 3:34pm (Now Viewing)

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10 Comments
  • nolongeractive

    This is so cute and so so sweet; your writing is always so amazing and the title and topic is just amazing and beautiful. Moreover, I really think you are one of the most talented writers! Thank you for sharing this, and I cannot wait to see what else you write.


    about 1 month ago
  • Emi

    This is really cool that it's based off of a virtual reality game! Very unique topic!
    Re: I wasn't really thinking of continuing it, but I'm glad you liked it!


    about 2 months ago
  • wavewriter

    What amazing descriptions! I felt like I was right there with you!


    2 months ago
  • Madelyn (Carolina Girl)

    Re: thank you for your kind words. Yes opening up is hard to a certain extent but not when I know I can help other people


    2 months ago
  • anemoia (#words)

    wow. i love that this came from a VR game. when stories/poems come from unconventional places, it's fascinating. your imagery in this really intensifies the experience.
    re: thank you! i did try to stay in a similar tone as bunnybeige to keep it more fluid, and to challenge myself


    2 months ago
  • _Delphiruns2theocean_

    Re: Thank you!! I submitted it for the op-ed expert peer review and will submit it is a final when I get that back, but a review would be much appreciated! <3


    2 months ago
  • xx carolina xx

    re: right. I just turned this into a short story that well..ends in the middle. I decided to alter some things so I could submit it for an assigment I was given for my creative writing class.


    2 months ago
  • BriRiley

    Re: and ya the co-op is pretty fun. Since we don’t go to school and hang out with our friends :D


    2 months ago
  • BriRiley

    Re: aww!! Thx! If only you could see the smile on my face!! XD Thank you for being my fifth follower! I have always loved your comments!!!
    And wow!! This is a really awesome piece! I love the way wrote it! I love the forth paragraph!!!


    2 months ago
  • BriRiley

    Re: Its where a bunch of homeschoolers come together once a week and do activities together like art and plays and stuff like that! Its really fun! Most of my friends are in it! That's where i met SamRose.


    2 months ago