sunny.v

United States

southeast asian baddie!!
wtw community’s official older sibling
running off into the sunset with circe
april 27, 2020 - march 2021

swordwielding protector of all minority groups
resident knight

Message to Readers

the stanza about [-----] and then the one with the apple seeds are about separate people. how's everyone doing? let's catch up in the comments, yeah?

dear everyone who’s ever hurt me:

December 10, 2020

FREE WRITING

23

my mother’s anger shakes the house. sometimes, the earth shifts on its axis, which
is to say: i match her in spades, so my anger looks like silence. looks like hollow.

see, loving [-----] was the bravest thing i’d ever done: and i think she knew that, and
it was such a delicate thing to see her take my windpipe in her palm and see just
how long i could go without breathing. she’s made me something of a coward, which is to say: i match her in spades. my anger looks like plastic daisies.

i chew apple seeds for the cyanide, but i’ll stop at thirteen. she will not have her victory over me, though i doubt i infect her mind the same way she did mine. i skinned my knuckles trying to get her to look over her shoulder, which is to say: i match her in spades, so every time someone asks, i tell them, i’m alright, and i appreciate it. now look the other way.

he spat slurs onto his hand and held it out to me. she said i sounded like a bitch when i was done with my speech. my father told me i was obnoxious in the car’s backseat. i match them in spades. i match them in spades. i match them in spades.

see, i’d like to say that i am made of only the people i chose to let become the parts of me, which is to say: i matched them in spades, and i did not want to. these people, to me, are thin threads of yarn. i am a tapestry. they wove themselves into me, and i am powerless to cut them out.

they made their mark. they will stay.

and so, to most of them, i gave them my silence, and we no longer speak. but they wove themselves into my existence, a lingering patchwork of conviction, which is to say: i will never be rid of them. i am made of everyone who has hurt me.

and i no longer think i can match them in spades.
-so much of us is made up of people who hurt us, and they leave their mark, don't they? rip not very poggers so i wrote it. dear everyone who's evert hurt me: i take attractive snapchat selfies and i hope ur out there being spited by it. mwah
-my life is deteriorating, hope everyone had a nice thanksgiving! <3

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  • December 10, 2020 - 4:01pm (Now Viewing)

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13 Comments
  • lochnessie

    SUNNY
    wow i especially love the bit about the apple seeds because it feels strangely innocent yet daring . i haven't said hi in ages! how are you! i made a cake!


    5 months ago
  • anemoia (#words)

    re: ohhh that makes so much sense and you're welcome :)


    5 months ago
  • mirkat

    i feel like i don't know what to write after... this. this magical, powerful, (like chrysanthemums said) lyrical rendition of a letter? a statement? i read it as a spiteful letter to all that have hurt you, all that have made themselves part of you without invitation or consent. i don't know... this is my favorite of yours, right next to "notebook clues to where I'll be"... ahhhhh you are so talented... someday, sunny.v, i want to be like you... <3<3<3


    5 months ago
  • beth r.

    gorgeous! hope life starts to treat you better!
    re: thanks! that's cool that the other generations did it! didn't know lol- do you guys mind if we start one? I'll give credit ofc :)


    5 months ago
  • anemoia (#words)

    stupid question (yes, they do exist): what does it mean to "match them in spades"?


    5 months ago
  • anemoia (#words)

    freaking deep and agonizing and poetic and lovely and visceral and real. i don't exactly understand it all; it feels mysterious yet fiery and strong.


    5 months ago
  • Future Pseudonym

    The "match them in spades" thing *cri* I feel that. So many casual harmful habits sprinkled around the piece, and it's honestly a little scary, to the point where I was concerned for your well-being even though the message board makes it clear it's fiction. Just... beautiful piece <33


    5 months ago
  • Jasmine khawar

    *claps* this is deep! I totally loved it!!
    Gorgeous <333


    5 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    okay HOW did i miss this. this was INSANE, oh my gosh. like chrys said (but in slightly gentler terms) how is it POSSIBLE for you to be so good??? the repetition and gosh the emotion, the EMOTION! this is absolutely stunning and you took hold of everything that makes us human and whirled it around before putting it back into place. this is just... wow. i just love this!!!!??! wow. my favorite was definitely the forth stanza, just the anger and word choice and... wow. this is absolutely amazing!!! and those footnotes, that made me laugh. hope you had a nice thanksgiving as well, and that your life gives you a bit of a breather! <333


    5 months ago
  • chrysanthemums&ink

    damn. DAMN. what????? the emotion in this is absolutely unmatched like i am literally transfixed, what? god, i'm just... absolutely speechless right now? how tf are you this good? not only is it lyrical, it's just so emotive, and the voice is so expressive and god, what? the anger is just.... it's so raw and unmatchable. "she said i sounded like a bitch when i was done with my speech." oh that entire stanza just hit so hard and... wow. you're absolutely amazing and so so strong. wow. <3


    5 months ago
  • Stone of Jade

    oh gosh this is beautiful!


    5 months ago
  • sci-Fi

    SO POWERFUL U GO GIRL.


    5 months ago
  • FantasyOtter12

    Wow this is so superbly powerful and just chock full of emotions...just like waaht :o


    5 months ago