Karma’s_Coming

United States

AJR
Bored Washingtonian who thinks 60 degrees is hot
An INTP-A / INTP-T apparently??
Weeeeeeeebb
My response to how was your day will always be
"Meh"
I'm a meh person, what can i say

Message from Writer

“It’s hard to be different...And perhaps the best answer is not to tolerate differences, not even to accept them. But to celebrate them. Maybe then those who are different would feel more loved, and less, well, tolerated.”

I’m almost certain that The Office theme song is on constant replay in my mind. It’s either that or the Wii song.

Pan. Not a frying pan though. Unless...

I could tell you that I didn’t listen to the DEH soundtrack again, but that would be a lie.

Pfp is Tomoko Kuroke

My 2020, but it gets sassier the farther you read

December 2, 2020


   It took me a while to come to terms with the whole “quarantine” thing, or to even understand just how largely these many months are affecting the world. It started as a rumor, and a few laughs in Humanities about eating bats, and it morphed into something entirely different as the first nursing home got flooded with deaths. 

   As many people know, Washington is know for being the first state to really rack up the numbers of cases. A little info dump for you: it started with a few people quarantining in a hospital, a nurse in a nursing home somehow contracted the virus and went to work despite feeling sick. Days later, the residents in the home are locked in their rooms and dying, and their angry family members are storming news sights. That nursing home, in my eyes, will forever be what I see when I think of what started the realization. Not even weeks later, the cases were steadily increasing, but school must go on, so every day we would marvel at the news before picking up our backpacks and heading out to the bus. The only warning we got when we left the house was, “be sure to use sanitizer before you eat.”

   And I remember when we were in the car, dropping three friends of mine off at their houses, when we got the first phone call. My mom works for the district, and that robotic voice echoed through the speakers. “Attention Bethel School District staff....” It droned on about a 6 week break. About how Friday and the following Monday would be informative, so we would know what to do over those 6 weeks. My friends were worried about their parents pay check, about how their mom was the manager of a Denny’s, but if it were closed, where would their money come from? And I could only wonder, later that night, how was his family going to pay off the medical bills for his fathers accident? They even still has the wrecked car in their driveway to remind them of his injury. 

   Their were questions, and at the moment, it seemed like an elongated weekend. We promised to call at least once a week. As it happens, I haven’t spoken to them in about 2 months. But at the time, when that last Monday rolled around, there was nobody in the hallways. The student body was reduced by at least half, extra ouch tables were rolled out into the gym, and sanitizing stations were set up throughout the quiet hallways. I didn’t even have the slightest idea that that Monday would be my last day of in-person school for months. 

   So that school year creeped along, more phone calls were received, extending the break by weeks, and then just giving up the rest of the year. I think that’s when it hit me, that we were stuck at home for months. 

   But then summer came by and it almost felt normal. We ran our firework stand, we camped with our grandparents, I saw my friends for the first time since that Monday in March, on August 9th when we swam in my pool, celebrating my early birthday. At that point in time, we still thought we would be going back to school. We knew it would be different, but I didn’t think I’d go into second trimester never having stepped foot in the building. 

    And so school started back up. It was my first year of high school and I greeted my teachers with the press of a button instead of a smile (however fake it might’ve been) at a desk. But it was fine. I was fine, because I was keeping up on my schoolwork, I wasn’t taking multiple showers a day just to have something to do, and I wasn’t steadily sinking.

   The beginning of October was when it really hit me like a brick, and not a soft one. I got behind in school, I hated the “routine” I was following, which was non-existent, and I despised of the eternal boredom. I watched anime until 3am, and I learned how to draw. I painted 8 notebooks in one sitting and finished writing nearly half a book in one month. I failed math, I finally went back to church, I got more books, I cleaned my room for the 82nd time during lockdown, and I got so bored that I sat in the bathtub for 2+ hours today in total silence. I think I actually fell asleep. All in all, October and November blended together as if they were never there. And I’m just now realizing that I haven’t even spoken to my friends since sometime mid-October. So much for the weekly FaceTimes. 

   The feelings though? Those are complicated. The best way my moods can be described is as an eight-sided see-saw. They’re all over the place. One day I’m on top of everything. Anxiety is under control, as was my math class, and we weren’t tearing down buildings in our backyard in between classes. We were soaring! Next day, I’m left home alone with nothing but missing assignments and a grumpy dog and freezing goat, and nothing to do (ignore the assignments) but take just one more shower. I felt wrung out. I had tried everything, I discovered everything there was to discover about myself. I mean, hell, I started off the quarantine thinking I was a straight cis girl, and here I am a pansexual enby, I couldn’t have discovered more if I tried. And all I have to look forward to is a Christmas in which tradition is thrown out the window because of a virus that is too stubborn to l e a v e. 

   So, in conclusion (I can feel my ELA teacher rolling in her grave right now), quarantine sucks and I can only hope that 2021 is better. I mean, they are shipping the first rounds of vaccines to Washington right now. It can only go up from here, right? (I really hope I didn’t just jinx the feast of the year.)
I’m not going to reread this all, so please excuse any stupid mistakes. 

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