Cordelia_Fitzgerald

United States

My dream is to be a bestselling author. I want to write YA fiction that is filled with magic, mythical beings, and much more! Most importantly, I want God to use my life and love of writing to share the good news of his mercy to all who need it!

Message to Readers

Peer reviews would be amazing, but not necessary. YOU CAN compare this to my other Realm of Heroes post (if I published it, I don't remember). This version is very edited. I cut a lot of crap. So please tell me what you think. I really think this could be a great novel one day.

Realm of Heroes--Chapter 1

December 2, 2020

FREE WRITING

2
 !IMPORTANT MESSAGE! Let me know in the comments what you think. Am I giving you enough info? Is it to vague? Are you engaged enough to read chapter 2? I want to publish this book one day so PLEASE let me know what you think. 

    The FAA is the most feared test ever to be taken. It's the Future Advancement Assessment. The test that decides your destiny.
    Darcy’s face was pale and strained. The FAA was close, too close, and a weird, sloshy feeling began to boil in the pit of her stomach. Seated on her bed, Darcy tugged at her hair searching for ways to distract herself.  If she had her way, she would lock herself in her room until it was all over, but that plan was foiled with a knock at the door.
     "Hello?" said Darcy's mother, peeking around the crisp white door. "Can I come in?"
      Darcy flopped onto her stomach and groaned. That was all the invitation Mrs. Witting needed. She joined Darcy on the bed.
    “What is it, honey?” she asked gently, nestling onto the white comforter.
    Darcy looked up at Mrs. Witting with a scowl-pout. 
    "I know, I know," Mrs. Witting sighed. "You're nervous for the test. All I can say is that it is completely harmless. There is nothing to worry about."
    "So, I shouldn't worry about the Future Advancement Assessment? AKA the most important test I will ever take?"
    Darcy didn't want to be sarcastic with her mother, but she was perfectly convinced that there were about two hundred things to be worrying about. 
    Mrs. Witting sighed. “Well,” she said, “Why don’t you come on down for dinner. The quicker you get to sleep, the better you’ll feel in the morning.”
    Darcy, still nauseous, willed herself off the bed to follow her mother.
    That night, Darcy lay in bed, laughing at how she had for a moment believed she would actually be able to sleep. Her dinner sat like a rock in her stomach. No amounts of peppermint ice cream or extra chocolatey chocolate chips could console her. She tossed and she turned, and then she sat very still because moving made the nausea worse. Out of patience, Darcy snatched her tablet off of the night stand and read the online FAA pamphlet over and over again until she passed out.
     The next morning, Darcy stared at herself in the mirror. The pamphlet said to wear something comfortable and that moving was involved. Her outfit ended up being jeans and a Kelpie Raiders tee. Her blonde curls tumbled down to her collar bone to frame her pale face and blue eyes. She slipped a hair tie onto her wrist for extra security hair-wise.
    “Alright,” she told her reflection. "No matter what happens, you're going to be happy and grateful and love your life."
Darcy didn't believe one word.
    Downstairs, she picked at her grits trying to avoid more nausea and hugged her parents goodbye. 
    "You'll be amazing!" Mrs. Witting smiled.
    "Smile for the judges," Mr. Witting urged as he squeezed Darcy in his arms.
    Darcy gave a very fake and very shaky smile before pedaling out of the cul de sac on her mint blue bicycle. She paused at the corner, trying to enjoy the summer late spring sunshine while waiting for her best friend Mara to show. A frizzy, brown curled girl rode quickly to meet her from the opposite side of the cul de sac. 
    “Good morning!” Mara said brightly, her freckled nose crinkled with her smile.
    “If you say so,” Darcy muttered.
    “Oh, don’t be like that,” Mara said, “Let’s just go, okay?” 
    “Fine.”
    The ride to downtown only took about five minutes, but anticipation seemed to cut the time in half. The girls were headed toward the Proctor Tower where all the important testing happened.
    “Mara," Darcy squinted up at the massive, shiny building. "Why is the Proctor Tower so scary for the FAA?"
    “Do I even need to answer that?” Mara asked, locking her bike to the rack in front of the Proctor Tower. 
    Darcy locked her bike next to Mara’s forced herself into the massive building.
    Here we go, she thought. Life was about to get real.
Please comment your suggestions! I really need these, and I value your opinions a lot.

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3 Comments
  • Starlitskies

    Hey I just wanted to let you know that I submitted your review. It was a wonderful read! I'd love to know when you publish the next chapter.


    10 months ago
  • Starlitskies

    Oooh this seems really interesting! I'm getting modern-day Divergent vibes. Can't wait to know what happens next! And a review's headed your way! :)


    10 months ago
  • Busssy.Beee

    hmmm, i love the cliffhanger. i would be engaged to read the next chapter. it's not vague, and yeah you did give enough info! i hope these answer your questions.


    10 months ago