~wildflower~

Australia

15
she/her
Loves music, nature, poetry, emotive writing, thinking
Passionate about the environment
pianist, tall
~stranded amongst the stars any trying to work out the meaning of it all~
Joined April 2020

On a perpetual semi-hiatus

Message to Readers

This was inspired by the wonderful piece by Beth R. - https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/204163/version/419335

Would you unfollow if I told you...

December 4, 2020

FREE WRITING

31
Would you unfollow me if I told you
that I call myself a Christian,
but really I don’t know what I believe?
that I pray to a God, and I know they love me,
but I’m not sure what form they take?

What if I told you that I lie all the time
because a part of me believes 
that I can’t trust anybody with my full self?
and that I care far too much
about what everybody thinks,
and I’m only just realising
that sometimes I subconsciously think 
that everyone is better than me-
that they’re all right but I’m wrong
and that I’m the only one who
doesn’t know what they’re doing?

Would you unfollow me if I told you that
I’m not very fun to be around?
Because I overthink most
aspects of human
interaction
and I’m scared
to open up and I don’t
talk very much and I’d rather
help my parents cook
dinner and read
books and play
piano and
take photos of flowers 
than watch Netflix,
but I say I do anyway,
because you expect me to.
would you unfollow me if I told you
that I have clouded my individuality
with the value I place on other’s opinions
and I am only just beginning to realise
that I am amazing as I am? 

Would you unfollow me if I told you
that on wtw, I’ve tried to paint myself as a
mature, fun and chatty person,
who is strong and independent and 
holds million goals, hopes and dreams-
but really, I don’t know what I’m doing?
I’m not sure what I believe, who I am or how to live this life,
and I probably won’t for a while yet,
and maybe if you visit
me in a few years
I will. Or maybe 
I won’t.
But maybe
if I keep moving through life, I’ll learn my lessons gradually,
and maybe if I trust in the process, everything will be ok.
Maybe that is the one thing I know I believe.
And maybe that’s ok.
Maybe.
 

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  • December 4, 2020 - 10:24pm (Now Viewing)

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22 Comments
  • Minvra

    Would I follow you for writing this? By telling this to us, you're admitting this huge part of you if you know what I mean. Yes. I would follow you. It's hard for me not to talk about academics because I find it safer than talking abut politics.


    6 months ago
  • remi'sgotinkstains

    this piece has only made me want to follow you more. i just found you, wasn't sure if i was going to follow you or not, then i read this . . .
    i think everyone can relate with this in some way. if they can't . . . i would unfollow them! ;)


    6 months ago
  • Zirong

    This piece is quite relatable and I love the genuineness! Guess all of us are still learning, just remember to take your time! :)


    7 months ago
  • BlueWolf (Semi Hiatus)

    Re: Rediscover. Yes that's the word. :3 Refind should be a word though!!! I agree it is an English Injustice. :) I hope you're also having a great day!


    7 months ago
  • Ezinne Clare

    Most of us don't really know what we're doing lol...and that itself is life's big thrill. This is very beautiful by the way.
    Re: thanks for the love on my book btw, i need it <3


    7 months ago
  • Rachaelgrace

    I would never unfollow you! <3 and you strike me as a really cool person based on your hopeful writing!!!


    8 months ago
  • Mina_77

    This is beautiful, I'm so glad I stumbled across your work, It's amazing! (You just earned yourself a follower)

    Also, don't stress if you don't know where your going. I know that's easier said than done.
    Celebrate your differences! you are special!


    8 months ago
  • happygiggles (not as active anymore)

    Re- * virtual hugs back* Thank you, I needed that virtual hug, I really did, it made me feel a lot better. (:

    This piece is beautiful in every way, yet still so sad. You'll find your way, it'll all work out bb, it's okay to not know where you're going. Take a deep breath and accept where you are right now, the future will work itself out. *virtual hug* ((:


    8 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Re: ^u^ <3


    8 months ago
  • BlueWolf (Semi Hiatus)

    Re: :)


    8 months ago
  • Jj101

    “ I care far too much
    about what everybody thinks,
    and I’m only just realising
    that sometimes I subconsciously think
    that everyone is better than me-
    that they’re all right but I’m wrong
    and that I’m the only one who
    doesn’t know what they’re doing?” I can relate to this so much. Although I’m constantly thinking that everyone is better than me(because they are). This is a great piece! Love it!!!


    8 months ago
  • BlueWolf (Semi Hiatus)

    Love this! I could never unfollow you! This is really relatable especially the part about how you don't know your beliefs. (I am also struggling to discover what I really believe.) But also, how you portray yourself on write the world. I wonder if people met me I would be somebody totally different to what they perceive me to be. But maybe I would be identical. (Just some musings from a tired brain.) :)


    8 months ago
  • Sunflower~

    I looove this (and I can totally relate)!!! I am definitely going to check out some of your other pieces (and follow you, of course)! I was gonna say the same thing as SunV and Musicmaker, but they said it soo much better ;) have a good day!!!


    8 months ago
  • doodleninja

    aww, this is such a heartfelt, endearing piece! I offer you this virtual hug (and no I would not unfollow you in a million years :)) <3


    8 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    re: the music thing: i actually have a CD player next to my bed, and i have a bunch of CDs, so i just play one of them and let it play through--it just ends on its own. If i'm not asleep (or close to being asleep) by the time it's over, i either let it play out and just let myself fall asleep, or i replay a few of the last songs. If you don't have something like that, and you're just using your phone (?) for music, i'd recommend setting a list of songs, probably about 6-12 of them, and just let them play and then when they are done let it turn off. idk, really just whatever works for you! :)
    also, i'm always here to chat whenever you need me :) i'll always be here to help, support, or rant with you, okay? you're not alone <3 we all care about you and love you so so much! :) Hope today will be absolutely wonderful for you!


    8 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    I would never unfollow you for this. I accept you as you are. Oh, and I agree with musicmaker. Anwyay, you're awesome. :D


    8 months ago
  • Lata.B

    I 1000% feel everything you wrote here. wow.


    8 months ago
  • beth r.

    re: omygod its totally fine the mention is totally unessacary (shoot don't know how to spell that lol). aw you're so sweet- your entry to the prompt is absolutely gorgeous!


    8 months ago
  • musicmaker

    Wow. I wasn't following you before, but I am now. As to your religion. Don't stay, claiming a title but not believing it. Find out what is true. Research it. SEARCH for truth. And don't worry about what the rest of us say about you. Be you and then just watch. Your own style will come out and it will be YOU! No one wants to see a fake. Being you makes you better because that's how God made you!!!!!! Great writing!


    8 months ago
  • SunV

    No, I would not. In fact, if I could, I would follow you again. Everything you say here resonates with me so much, with some slight twists, such as I'm supposed to be Hindu, not Christian. And the 'Chatty person on WtW', I think we've all tried to paint ourselves like that. There's nothing wrong in doing so.


    8 months ago
  • beth r.

    gorgeous, i'm at a loss for words >3


    8 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    every. single. thing. you wrote here. i can relate to. oh wow i feel this so much <3 i would NEVER unfollow you for this, you are beautiful and amazing and very fun and i love chatting with you and reading all of your work. it's okay if you don't have everything figured out, we've got our entire lives <3 i love you :) you're amazing, don't forget that <3


    8 months ago