Alexander :)

United Kingdom

Alex
Abrosexual
He/him
Transgender and proud
LOVE musical theatre (there may be references...)
INFP
'The things that make you strange are the things that make you powerful'
- Ben Platt

Message to Readers

Hey! So I wrote this after I was feeling pretty low - I use writing to pick myself up. It just explains (to me, at least) why we write, read, create worlds and characters in our heads that can somehow keep us going through all the tough times.
Let me know what you think x

Vulnerable.

November 30, 2020

PROMPT: Why I Write

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Why do we write? Why do we read? Why do we watch films? Why do we listen to musicals? Why do we watch theatre? Why do we create these places and people? Why do we obsess over them, talk to the characters and disassociate ourselves from reality?

To not be vulnerable. 

To see the best parts of ourselves scattered through stories that somehow we can claim as our own. To travel through 1000 different worlds, live 1000 different ways, love and be loved by 1000 different people, who we learn about, talk to and embrace as our friends and family. To see others express themselves in ways we wish we knew how. To hear speech and words that somehow perfectly encapsulate who we are, how we feel, why we say and do certain things. To see other characters and recognise ourselves in them- the flaws and jokes and nervous tics and sexuality and gender and religion and the colour of their skin - to see the person we are and the people we wish we could know thrown together and living. To feel alive and excited at the prospect of adventure, seen and heard when a character speaks our thoughts, scared and endangered as the villain approaches, sad and sympathetic character experience of loss.

To feel something. Anything. Anything at all to live and love and learn and laugh and get hurt and rise up and make friends and do everything that gives you joy and gives you sadness without being vulnerable. To explore the deep recesses of your subconscious, the unexplainable thoughts and feelings and see them explained. To suddenly understand why you feel something about yourself and to hear somebody else go through the same thing. To open up and see yourself and accept yourself for who you are, to be seen, accepted and understood by people who were written for that purpose. To run away from the harshness and unjustness of reality to a better, far better place. To choose how you want to live. To be respected and admired, loved, thanked, accepted and understood. To be the person you always wish you could be. To have an army by your side that rallies with you, never hurts you, is seemingly blind to your flaws. To be loved. To have a home. When the people in reality love us, we are lucky. They love us. They learn about us, accept us, they tell us that everything is going to be okay. More often than not, for those people to love us, we have to be vulnerable. They see things about you that you wish they couldn’t, but there are also a lot of things they don’t see that you wish that they could. But through books, through film, through theatre, we can show them. They might not catch on, they might not ever make the link, they might not understand how and why this matters so much to you, but you still feel better. Because in a way, you’ve opened up. You’ve told them how you feel. You’ve expressed yourself. You’ve given them a little window into your mind, into your imagination. You’ve shared something deeply private and personal with them, yet said nothing. The reason we read, watch, listen, believe, is the same as the reason we create; to understand, learn and share a small part of ourselves, without having to put ourselves at risk.


So to the people who are given passionate and oddly specific film recommendations by a friend or family member, cherish it. Treasure it and look at it for them. Because they’re giving you their coping strategy. Because in asking you to watch, look, listen to or read whatever it is they’ve given you, they are telling you they trust you. They are telling you there is something they wish they could tell you but can’t find the words. That there is something they want you to know; something private, something personal. They have given you the trust. They’ve given you a piece of themselves. Remember that.


So here’s to the people who read. Here's to the people who write. Here’s to the people who listen. Here’s to the people who watch a piece of film or theatre and obsess over it. They over analyse everything, every little detail, idolise the characters, learn from them, commit lines and monologues to memory. 
And here’s to those who create these worlds, these stories, these characters, who are sometimes the only ones with us in the tough times. For you we are eternally grateful. 
More often than not, you are one and the same.
 

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11 Comments
  • ava_grace

    Wow, all of this is so true! I can definitely relate in seeing myself in fictional characters!


    1 day ago
  • KingLee

    thank you for this


    2 days ago
  • Figwit

    Wow. This is so good! I totally recognize myself in all of these things... I love that you've managed to capture this so well - such emotion and description intertwined flawlessly!


    2 days ago
  • The_Sunrise_Queen

    I loove this. it's so true.... I should pay attention more when people tell me their favorite movie, and then go watch it and see if I can find bits of their personality scattered amongst the characters.
    also btw if you want to reply to someone's comment, just go onto their latest piece and type "re:" then reply. I learned that late :)


    3 days ago
  • Alexander :)

    Wow thank all of you so so much!! I'm so glad you enjoyed this and found something relatable and worth nominating in it- thank you for your comments, they mean the world :)


    4 days ago
  • NewPoet

    THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL!!! I love it and it perfectly describes how I’m feeling whenever I give a book recommendation (which I do a lot) This is incredible and it deserved to be picked!


    4 days ago
  • ~wildflower~

    OH MY GOSH THIS IS ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE! Oh wow, this is just so inexplicably profound and insightful and beautifully composed. Amazing!


    5 days ago
  • Writing4Life

    Wow...Stunning <3 This is just so stunning. As Avril said, profound! Being an actor/writer/singer, I totally get this. Part of the reason why I love those things so much is being able to express myself, and have other people feel what I feel. And really, if there is one word to describe acting, it's vulnerable. Which makes people scared and nervous, but when you're not afraid to be vulnerable, you get so much confidence, it's insane. Thank you for writing this; it's so perfectly written <3


    5 days ago
  • Avril

    oh wow, this is so profound. I love the part about "oddly specific film recommendations", especially when you write "they've given you a piece of themselves" - I have never thought about it that way but I think you're so right! That's exactly how I feel when I become attached to a certain song or poem. This is beautiful, congrats!!


    5 days ago
  • anemoia by a thread

    wow. the amount of insight and truth in this, the fierce emotion and passion and desperation (almost liked you need to get these words out because they're bursting, filling you up and begging to be passed on to others)...
    congrats on the nomination—you deserve it! this flows so fluidly, with unmistakable rhythm and passion and pacing.


    5 days ago
  • Odyssey

    SO lovely! Congrats on getting nominated!


    5 days ago