some days, i'm floating.
you'd see that as a good thing --
i'm above the ground, soaring above the clouds.
i'm slowly lifting away,
untethered to reality
unable to distinguish right from wrong.
it's not as beautiful as you'd think up here;
there's hardly any oxygen,
and i can feel
my head spins;
where am i?
who am i?
,,icarus is flying too close to the sun.,, the sun;
it burns and burns, didn't you know?
my stomach is continually lurching when i look down.
i want to vomit,
but i don't know where my mouth is.
other days, i'm sinking.
that's usually how they describe this, isn't it?
an endless pit
or perhaps an ocean that consumes.
it's not like that.
it's the ground simply opening up and
the shape of my body fits perfectly.
i can't breathe, but it
isn't like drowning.
when you're drowning,
the water fills your lungs.
this simply deprives you of air.
my lungs aren't collapsing;
they're just moving without breath.
if my heart was a drummer,
it'd be going t o o f a s t.
the ground is digging my grave.
and i'm still "alive."