Anne Blackwood

United States

16
Christian
Theatre kid
Singer (soprano)
Poet
Twin (fraternal)
Spoonie
Disfusive
Highly Sensitive Person
Living oxymoron
Kindness Krusader: Blueberry cotton candy
XXFJ, Melancholic-Sanguine, ambivert

Joined 1/16/20

Message from Writer

For everyone who's sat on a tree branch and thought for a while
Or someone who wanted to

Mom to FantasyOtter12, lochnessie, mindfruit, Rohan's Defender, & all
Sis to happy butterfly
birthdaycandles & happygiggles are my apple juice Jesus sisters

Dating Kristoff? He's got a reindeer, a good sense of self... He's got it all.

My profile picture is my "personal crest" I designed and commissioned.

"I was born singing. Most babies cry. I sang an aria."
~ Fairest (book) by Gail Carson Levine

Anxiety must-reads:
https://bit.ly/2YUyome
https://bit.ly/2TsNYSa
And pray. That's the only reason I'm free now.

all i am to you is a meaningless pet

November 29, 2020

FREE WRITING

20

usually the problem in toxic relationships
is one person lies and the other believes
but you told the truth that you barely have feelings
and i refused to accept a single word

that was my downfall where you were concerned
you never needed to trick me
i simply fooled myself about your heart
while you watched me burn

witty jokes and three-hour conversations
amounted to nothing more than you toying with me
and me boosting your ego
(as if it needed my help)

but i suppose you needed reassurance
that you don't need to face your skeletons
so you showed them to me to keep me along
and dropped me once you were done
    So this isn't supposed to be good, I just needed to write it. It's about the person I wrote about in Toxic, we'll call him Red. I almost didn't write this, but I was reading through our texts for research for the piece and found myself smiling at our jokes, which irked me because I'm supposed to be over the whole thing. I thought I was. I am. But I still care about him. I care about everyone. Ugh.
    For those who've watched Survivor, do you remember Greg from the first season? (I'm watching the show for the first time btw) He seemed funny and humble and smart to everyone, including me. And this poor girl believed what she saw and thought the two of them were becoming good friends. But he openly admitted to the camera that she was just like a pet kitten that he played with and would eventually eat if he got hungry. He didn't even feel bad about it. It's disgusting, because I fell for his facade, too. Anyway, all that was to say that Red is almost as manipulative and uncaring as Greg, so the title seemed fitting. I'm pretty sure Red liked his cat more than he liked me, which is understandable, but I don't think he cared about his cat for anything more than as something to brag about.

Print

See History
  • November 29, 2020 - 11:04pm (Now Viewing)

Login or Signup to provide a comment.

16 Comments
  • Emi

    Wow. The title speaks mountains.
    Re: nothing wrong with being a night owl. I'm a cross between that and a morning person. I'm up till like ten or eleven, but I still love to get up early (I should probably sleep more)


    5 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    :(( i feel for you. i trust very easily--maybe too easily--and then when i'm let down i just... fall apart? idk. anyways, i understand the emotions in this. praying for you, dear! you're worth the moon and red doesn't deserve you <333 love you!


    5 months ago
  • ~madeline~

    Um... To echo everyone else: YOU DESERVE SO MUCH MORE THAN THIS AND IF YOU EVER NEED SOMEONE TO THROUGH A SHOE AT RED CALL ON US


    5 months ago
  • happy butterfly

    replying: aww thank you anne,that means so much<3


    5 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Hiatus)

    Re: okay. I’m glad you liked it. They are pretty songs. :)


    5 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Hiatus)

    Re: aw, you’re welcome! I’m sorry if I brought back any bad memories...... I didn’t mean to. I feel like Standstill by her is the one I’ve been relating to most these past few weeks... but I’m glad you liked it.


    5 months ago
  • Rose A(hiatus)

    I'm not sure if I've read Toxic or not(I'll make sure I do), but YOU DO NOT DESERVE THAT. Also, IF THAT HAPPENS AGAIN I WILL BE THROWING MY VANS AT SOMEONE. This piece is amazing!


    5 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Hiatus)

    And I meant to add: IF ANYONE EVER TREATS YOU LIKE THAT AGAIN, YOU TELL ME AND I WILL BE THERE, WHEREVER YOU LIVE, TO PERSONALLY SWITCH INTO GRIZZLY BEAR MODE AND MAKE THEM GET SOME SENSE! *insert angel halo*


    5 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Hiatus)

    Oh, the poem is amazingly written and it’s so heartbreaking.... you deserve so, SOOO MUCH BETTER THAN ANYONE WHO WOUOD TREAT YOU LIKE THAT! And I understand about you still caring about him..... but you’re better off without him if he doesn’t understand what an priceless girl you are. All we can do is pray for them.
    Re: aww, thank you so much! :) I’m so happy I have you as a friend here! <33333
    Ps. There is a song that I feel like relates to this piece. It’s pretty sad at first, but then it gets more hopeful. You might like to listen to it, if you haven’t heard it before: I Am Not Nothing by Beth Crowley.


    5 months ago
  • poetgoneonpluto

    hi, i have faced such a red character before, but hey, just stay strong and you deserve way better than this person, just know it. such facades are temporary, just a trap, so if that character shows up, just block :) also the poem is raw and reflects emotions so well.


    5 months ago
  • sci-Fi

    uhm. no. Just no. You deserve SO much better that this Red character. If he ever hurts u again, just know that you have 309 online people backing you >:(


    5 months ago
  • chrysanthemums&ink

    believe me when i say you deserved so much better than that. i'm not too good at saying comforting words, but i'm always here for you <3


    5 months ago
  • Busssy.Beee

    >:( how dare this Red person treat you this way. you deserve the entire universe!! anyway, just know that if anything happens, you got all my love and support <33


    5 months ago
  • anemoia (#words)

    <3 here for you


    5 months ago
  • Just_A_Memory

    Re: You're very welcome :) Just returning the favor xD


    5 months ago
  • Just_A_Memory

    Girl, I'm so sorry! THat sounds so rough. I mean, I'm not the best at relationship advice, but you're worth the world and so much more. He can't see what he's missing out on. <3


    5 months ago