Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Message to Readers
Just edited this piece. PLEASE REVIEW!
The emotion behind the dialogue. I find it intriguing you can recall the interactions too. The wording is almost flawless, and the fact that this technically possesses three stories yet retains a good portion of feeling is incredible. The coverage over vulnerability is pretty good. I can feel detachment(to not cry' but deep worry the May and November 2020 section. It's subtler than the first one, which complements eachother.
From this all, you seems to be very thoughtful even when under stress.
I think May 2020 could be deeper. Second paragraph for May 2020 could be more deeper. I also don't know if Driving while Black is a phrase uh. I only understood May 2020 enough that it has something to do with racism. There's more specifics in the highlights. I ended up double highlighting another. It's a bolder yellow.
The ending was confusing. One hand you're humming about your grandma and mom and missing them, but Grandma and mom are there in the house. May need to be more specific before the song.
Keep going. Even though this is a competition, I think you really need this. This creative nonfiction is by you and very intimately close to your personal life. It's a very commendable thing. In the beginning you said you hated vulnerability, and here's your piece, made up of vulnerability. By writing this, you're being truthful to yourself. I know I'm not the most truthful and hesitant to write stuff down even when no one will see.
Save or print this out, your final or this and find a safe place to put it. When you read this years later, it'd be like going through memory lane.
Also, make sure to read things aloud and look back on each draft a few days after. Keep writing about yourself too, doesn't have to be published, but I'm sure you would want to have something to look back when you grow older.
Another also, good luck!