Wisp

United States

i still dream of you

est. 26.9.19

Message to Readers

Some rough estimates:
Approximately 9 minutes per person. And there's 111, so that's around 999 minutes I have spent hoping to give you all some smiles. In other terms, 16.65 hours, or more than half a day. I hope they've made you smile and shown you that you are appreciated.

/my worth/

December 23, 2020

FREE WRITING

19

i was born a girl/slender eyes and pale skin/they told me since birth that my worth would be measured by whether i knew the difference between paprika and cayenne/i was meant to get married and make my family proud/meant to carry children/they never told me to get an education/never gave me that chance/ 

and what is my worth?/my worth if i am destined to live for another man/destined to be a housewife and a mother/meant to live my life for another/who am i?/what am i?/why am i?/ 

my mother prepped me with house cleaning skills/she dusted me with the knowledge her own mother presented to her/she is married to my father/she says she's happy/she's not/she told me to hide my dreams and lock them up/for we do not have that opportunity to make them a reality/us women are meant to live for the lives of men/and she told me this with a half smile/but i saw the emptiness in her eyes/the tears threatening to fall/and for how long have my mother's brown eyes been gray?/

my father never cared about me/he wanted a son as his firstborn/he got a daughter instead/and he has three sons now and two daughters/but i've never seen him smile/i heard once that he used to hold me tight and sing me lullabies/but when i look at him/i don't know that stranger they tell me of/i only know cold stares with little love/i only know back of heads and newspapers and smoked cigars/tell me/has my father ever smiled?/

and i used to memorize the words on the back of my father's newspaper/i carried them around like jewels/economy falling/success rate dropping/now hiring/i don't know what they mean/but when i close my eyes/the words dance against my eyelids/and i see the meanings within them stretching before me/oh/how beautiful they are/ 

one day/i will travel far/far from husbands and crying children/far from grey eyes and smoked cigars/i will travel with the words as my only possession/by then/there will be enough to fill suitcases full/and i will carry each as my own prized possessions/one day/i will know what they mean/

/my worth/is measured in the words i carry/
Disclaimer: Not based on true events 

Updates: 

- I'm doing an event in January, not a contest of anything of the sort, but perhaps something that'll boost WtW morale, so stay tuned for that. I might post the details on December 31st or something. 
- Sorry for not posting anything in a while, I wanted to finish my comments before I wrote anything for the site. 
- Dust jacket questions are still being accepted!
- To all those who received my comments of gratitude, I hope you know I truly meant every word. Love you all. 
Now, I suppose some background information is due--well, I can only do so much to show appreciation. I can write pieces, I can say thank you in footnotes and message to readers, but does that come through? And I wanted that to come through so desperately--I wanted to give you guys a taste of how you made me feel. Because I don't know where we will all end up--where all of us will go as we grow older--all I can give you is this moment now, this moment of happiness locked in screens.
And I wanted to give you all some love, to show that you are appreciated and that honesty and care still exists. 

Thank you all. 
 

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25 Comments
  • Charisse Marison

    Absolutely beautiful. So poetic and just *chef's kiss* perfection.
    Thank you so much for your comment recently. I'm so glad to have been your first follower and I'm so happy that I brought a smile to your face :) You are so talented and I can't wait to see all the amazing things you write in the future. Congrats on all the followers!


    4 months ago
  • Madelyn (Carolina Girl)

    I love this so much. It is so beautiful and thought provoking. Can't wait to check out more of your work and you mine :)


    4 months ago
  • journal.scribbles

    Oh sorry, I forgot to include this in my comment. Wow your interpretation was spot-on! Yeah, that piece was kinda born from a mini-existential crisis. It's so gratifying to know that I was able to express my feelings! Thank you!


    4 months ago
  • journal.scribbles

    re: Thank you so much for the kind comment on my piece!!! I just read through the previous comments on this piece and they're each so honest and positive and it's just so amazing that you inspired so much kindness. You are such an important part of the WtW community and I'm so very grateful for you. I hope you had an amazing Christmas if you celebrate it!

    Also I just realized that I totally made the baseless assumption that this piece was based on a true story told from your perspective, but I now see that might not be the case at all. Sorry!!


    4 months ago
  • mirkat

    re: your comment! again! made me smile! uncontrollably! serisously tho i love how we keep throwing the love back and forth... someday when i'm old and stuff (yes i'm a writer but sometimes ya just gotta use the word "stuff" when you're lazy) i would love to bump into somebody, glance at a person's name i recognize and double back, or receive a letter or email from someone that was once on wtw. the pinnacle point will be seeing a person's name on a book! ha! they made it and they are out there doing great things and maybe they remember me. anyway. thank you again and again and yet again! enjoy yourself on the holidays (and stuff)!
    <3<3<3


    5 months ago
  • journal.scribbles

    Okay first of all this piece - wow. It's so raw and heartbreaking and yet so inspiring at the end. While we've had different struggles, I can definitely relate to wanting to leave and only take our words with us. You're not alone, and I'm sure you're going to achieve amazing things, not for any man, but for yourself. Hang in there <3

    re: Omg thank you!!! You are one of the most genuinely kind and thoughtful people I've ever met on the internet, and every single one of your comments since we first interacted has done exactly what you said: "give you all some love, to show that you are appreciated and that honesty and care still exists." Your words mean so much to me and I can't thank you enough in words for them. I'm so thankful that we can continue to support each other through our writing on this site. Can't wait for the event in January! I'm sure it'll be great! :D


    5 months ago
  • elliem

    Re: thank you so much for your sweet comment! :’) I came back to this piece and would like to give it a second “wow” because it’s just so excellently-crafted. You’re an incredible writer!! I hope your day is going well.


    5 months ago
  • Writing4Life

    re: Awwww yw! I'm so glad! (btw totally agree with crystallinegalaxies comment!)


    5 months ago
  • crystalline•galaxies

    wisp, i'm literally in awe.

    of course, the piece was absolutely spectacular, but i'll talk about that in a minute. i've been reading through the comments responding to your footnotes, and i just wanted to take a hot second to acknowledge this.

    so, we're all random teenagers on the internet from all across the world, right? and somehow, we're all here. we're all commenting in this comment section, all coming together to appreciate each other and to celebrate this art that we've all planted in our lives. how unreal is this? how insane is it, that in our lives, we get to experience online community in its purest, most wholesome form? i saw mirkat's comment and it just resonated with me -- we're all here to help each other, to love each other and to let each other grow. and that's something super special. the future could hold anything -- i mean, years from now, we could be walking through bookstores and suddenly spot a name that rings a tiny little bell in our heads; and then we remember, "oh! i remember them from that one writing website i was on when i was a teenager! i'm so glad they've made it this far." or maybe there will be names in other art departments, names of clothing designers, names of engineers, names of high school teachers, even names of ski instructors that have graced the pages of wtw before. the future is so broad and insane and wild and wondrous, and the moments we all have with each other right now is so precious. i'm listening to the song "dreams" by nauges, and it encapsulates what this feels like right now -- some sort of dream, whipped together by the unconscious mind in order to fulfill some innate community instinct. or maybe it's the future that feels like a dream, an unknown city waiting in the fog to be discovered, like when the hero in a fantasy novel stops by on their quest to find their meaning in life. but that's the future. we have right now, right this very instant, whether it's 10:03 am or well past midnight, to make each other smile and lift the spirits of one another. i would say that we can affect random strangers through this, but in reality, are we even strangers anymore? not really. i think that we're all brothers and sisters and siblings, bound together by the art of stringing meaningless figures together in order to create ideas that are sharper than the point of an arrow. and i think that's beautiful. so thank you, wisp, for bringing together all of these people through your writing in order to create a little snapshot of the joy and wonder that fills the corners of wtw.

    alright, now i can legally talk about the piece.
    so, um, like, you're amazing. how did you manage to create such a complex and genuine narrator, while not experiencing the conflicts they mention in their message? i swear, i felt like i knew so much about them and their life and their struggles just from that little snippet that i gained about their life. i feel like i could almost see the outline of their future, their hopes and dreams and where they want to go. i feel like i could sense the frustration and irritation oozing out of my computer screen. i mean, "/my worth/is measured in the words i carry/." how insanely powerful is that message? it's like something that should go on a poster and be hung on a wall. i read so many passages over and over again, soaking up the words and really savoring them. wow.


    5 months ago
  • elliem

    Re: I just returned to WtW again tonight and saw your lovely comment! Thank you so, so, so much, it made my night. :') It's so odd to me that people on this website look(ed) up to me. I always thought similarly of you! And your comment on my piece was so heartfelt and thoughtful. I've been feeling down about my poetry lately, but your comment made me feel better about it. And congratulations on one hundred followers! That's so exciting!

    Also, this piece is phenomenal! There's so much rich imagery and sharp images here, like the newspaper and cigar. I especially love the line "and for how long have my mother's brown eyes been gray?/" Incredible. Again, thank you for your comment, and I hope you're having a wonderful day!


    5 months ago
  • mirkat

    re: why of course, whisp! i often think about the future, way too much than i should (sometimes i think i live in the future or for it because my needs and wants and dreams and wishes are so strong), and i know i will never forget this place. the friends i've made, the development of my writing style (which is partially influenced by you!), the positivity, the way i can be unapologetically myself in a way i've never been before. wtw has brought out the best in me and i like to think the same for others. i know i will remember all the big names on here, you and sunny and chrys and dmoral and crystalline galaxies and paisley and the numerous others that have shaped me and continue to do so. thank you again! can't wait to see what and who you will become and accomplish, but for now i'm totally content in knowing we all help each other up and inspire one another.
    <3<3<3


    5 months ago
  • SunV

    This piece is absolutely beautiful!

    'he used to hold me tight and sing me lullabies/but when i look at him/i don't know that stranger they tell me of' I'm sorry, but can I cry?

    Your writing has always been stunning, and I can't believe I haven't paid more attention before!

    Re (Sorry for the late reply, I was on a 'no electronic devices except for school purposes day'): Thank you so much! It's been amazing getting to know you! And thank you for the comments on my piece!

    I do have a few questions I would love for you to answer!

    1. Have you taken any personality tests (MBTI; Enneagram; Temperament etc)? If yes, and if you're comfortable with it, I would love to know your results!
    2. If you had the choice to read one, and only one book for the rest of your life, which book would it be?
    3. Which fictional character do you relate to the most?


    5 months ago
  • pyrrhic

    re: i'll be honest, i don't typically do too much of an analysis on pieces. but this one was just so... incredible, i really couldn't help myself ;) i'm glad you enjoyed my comment!
    secondly, i really appreciate your kind words. a lot. fathers are certainly something, huh?


    5 months ago
  • rwong

    woahhh this is so powerful and beautiful and full of emotions; i really don't know what to say <3
    oh and i guess i didnt have a chance to say this but thank you so much for your comment; it was so sweet and kind and really made my day :)


    5 months ago
  • Landofstories

    re: oh ofc! let me go follow you rn!


    5 months ago
  • pyrrhic

    this is so powerful. the fact that around the world, so many women are treated like this. they aren't given education, any work opportunities, and their singular 'role' in life is to stay home and follow a man. it's soul crushing. i also like how you added the detail about the news paper: "and i used to memorize the words on the back of my father's newspaper/i carried them around like jewels/economy falling/success rate dropping/now hiring/" it adds depth into the world you've placed us in. globally, typically the 'more developed' countries are the ones who have less gender roles, and where women are given more opportunities. it's really interesting, and i think it proves a point. i really love how you included that detail, even if it wasn't intentional.
    over all, i think you've created a seriously powerful piece that packs a punch and really puts it into perspective how much privilege some people have over others. i really enjoyed reading this!


    5 months ago
  • Landofstories

    re: your comment made me tear up quite a bit, and i dont think i can thank you enough for it. your so sweet, thank you so so much! i'll miss you! <3


    5 months ago
  • beth r.

    "tell me/has my father ever smiled?/" the simplistic innocence of this line really struck a chord in me I didn't know existed. The overall diction of this piece carries a lot of emotion, and it flows like a story. I absolutely adore it :)
    re: aw you're so sweet! yeah love how 5 min crafts are instructed kids to blow up their house XD
    anyways, your comment made my, like, YEAR. congrats on 110, and on being an overall awesome person
    some questions:
    Biggest writing inspiration?
    Favorite film genre?
    Least favorite book?
    Cereal or milk in the bowl first?
    >3


    5 months ago
  • mirkat

    "i will travel with the words as my only possession/by then/there will be enough to fill suitcases full/and i will carry each as my own prized possessions/one day/i will know what they mean/"
    okay this made me cry... i was already tearing up by the part about your mom and then i ust lost it because this stanza is everything. this piece is so emotional and full and beautiful... now, as for your footnotes, yes. yes, it has come through. and this: "Because I don't know where we will all end up--where all of us will go as we grow older--all I can give you is this moment now, this moment of happiness locked in screens." made my cry even harder. just... i get that and it makes me so happy and melancholy for a time in the future if that makes sense? i don't know what i'm saying at this point.... well i remember reading your comment of gratitude nd then i went away on a road trip with my family and now i can't find it and i looked in basically all the comments of all my pieces and it's not there and i'm missing something BUT i remember feeling so elated when i read it even though i don't really remember what you wrote........ so! thank you, i promise i will remember you, in the someday. well this is a long comment. so.... oh, my question for your dust jacket:
    what is one song, quote, or book that you think has influenced you as both a writer and a person (changing how you think, changing your writing style, etc.)
    have a wonderful day and happy holidays!
    <3<3<3


    5 months ago
  • hi i'm jackson ;)

    wowww this is great! I love it!!! very evocative.....
    replying: sorry for taking a while, i havent been on the computer in a while. yeah, i decided to just straight up tell them...thanks for the support dude!
    christmas break is great!! although i get bored easily lol...its been kinda weird and im getting the feeling that my parents are starting to accept/support me so that's fun, but also confusing haha
    how are you today?


    5 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    1. This is so vivid and evocative gah I love it.
    2. To your message board: Wow, that's dedication to be admired.
    3. To your footnotes: We see and appreciate and feel your love. <3


    5 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    this is beautiful and so emotional... :) wow <333 i love this so much <333 and the footnotes -- you're so sweet, dear! you always make me smile :) and i'm very excited for whatever you'll be posting come January :) hope you're well! with love <3


    5 months ago
  • xx carolina xx

    <3


    5 months ago
  • Writing4Life

    Re: Firstly, thank you so much! I very much appreciate your comment on my piece, and thank you for the feedback! I'm glad you enjoyed my piece :) Secondly, you're welcome! You're such a lovely person, and deserve MANY more followers! Thirdly, CONGRATULATIONS! That's such a huge achievement! (tho it's 111 now!) Well done! You deserve every single one <3


    5 months ago
  • CrazyNinjaKid

    replying:
    heyy yeah ik you to! ur that super writer that i see have 30+ likes on my feed in my notification bar and i say to myself "dam, imagine being that good." congrats on 111 follows btw that is such a great achievment! i feel honoured that made you feel more confident btw, it made me smile so thank you :) have a great day/ night. also i like thie piece a lot.


    5 months ago