Goosey lucy

Helen Grant

United Kingdom

18 | Linguist | Anxious resting face

Message from Writer

Hiya! I hope you like my ramblings and ponderings - any and all constructive criticism is pretty much guaranteed to be met with a 'yay!' Please note British English spellings ;)

This Is Too Many

May 1, 2015

PROMPT: Subtotals


Birthdays I have had since meeting Adam: 14. Birthday cards I have received from Adam: 5. Birthdays Adam has had since meeting me: 14. Birthday cards Adam has received from me: 14 (plus gift tags). 

Meals eaten together: 14,814. Meals eaten together minus the kids: 8,206. Romantic meals eaten together: 1,072. Romantic meals I have cooked: 1,069. 

Number of children had: 2. Number of schanuzers owned: 5. Number of times I have directly or indirectly expressed my desire for a cat: 436. Number of cats at which I have stared longingly across the street: 73. Number of times in my presence last night my brother-in-law made jokes about weird cat-ladies: 11. Dulux colour code for the shade of my knuckles as I gripped my dessert spoon last night: 53ZY 82/070 (palest eggshell).

Kisses shared: 18,904. Kisses into which I leant first: 12,276. Kisses before which we crashed noses, due to poor technique on his part: uncountable. Tears I have shed: >7,000 (I should think). Tears I have shed in the last five months: >5,000. Times I have told my mother I am fine: exceeding 400. Times I have told myself I am fine: 600.

Number of times, in my working life, I have been late home due to poor train timetabling: 5,293. Number of times I have been early home due to unexpectedly efficient train timetabling (and the fact that the driver appeared to have forgotten to stop at Hamley-upon-Thames): 1. Number of times I have, on hindsight, wished that the aforementioned train had actually arrived late that day : 840.

Expletives used later that evening: 91. Blankets thrown at the sofa: 1. Pillows thrown at sofa: 0.

Agitated laps paced around bedroom at 5.30 in the morning: 68.

Ice-cream tubs purchased post-13th November: 33. Self-help books sent by well-meaning/condescending colleagues: 7. Hours spent unpicking the 'hers' from my dressing gown: 3. New dressing gowns purchased: 1. Tins of raspberry-coloured emuslion paint purchased: 4. Pairs of vintage curtains purchased: 6. 

Single beds purchased: 1.

Hours spent in the family court: 9.5. 

Wedding rings auctioned off: 2.



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