everythingbagel (the cliffhanger goddess)

United States

experiment in motion.
catholic, but if we're being real - agnostic.
|est. nov. 22nd, 2020|
17
Leo

Hispanic and White
~fellow Latino/a/xs, unite~

Message to Readers

see footnotes.

ana plus quinn (1) {see footnotes}

November 22, 2020

FREE WRITING

10
I hadn’t known her name until today.
She was a long, straight brown curtain from behind.
When she turned around, I was met with the two most beautiful pools of hazel I’d ever seen.
Her round face was smattered with little pockets of freckles, and her lips were full, glossy and pink.
“Can I borrow a pencil?” She asked.
I fumbled for my pencil case and grabbed a fresh one with the lead still inside.

She grabbed it with a flutter of her wrist.
“Thanks, Quinn.”

The rest of the lecture, I couldn’t focus on anything but her.
Soon, the bell rang, and we all hurried for the door, straggling to get out as fast as we possibly can.
Me and the girl stayed in the back, having gotten caught in the crossfire of it all.
The girl nibbled at her French-manicured fingertips, and her feet shifted into first position.

Of course. A ballerina. She was slight and coltish, kinda like me, except I was scrawny, not all sinewy like she was.

Then came a voice from the hall.
In passing, a tall, lean, cheerleader waved in the doorway. “Ana!”

The girl - Ana waved back, but uneasily.
Maybe she was popular in her elite circle, but didn’t quite fit into the mold required.

I didn’t get to theorize for much longer, since she slipped into an open gap in the masses and out the door.

I don’t like to swear a lot..
But my non-binary ass was fucking head over heels for someone I
had spoken not even a word to.
Okay, so..yeah, I'm Queenie..well, formerly her. I realized that..and this is really hard to admit, that I have a really hard time keeping myself on track when it comes to making social posts on here. I've looked at all of my work, and realized a lot of it is click-baity or clouty. A lot of my work was made without meaning, but only for comments and posts of gratitude. 

Both my original accounts (queenie, los libros de queenie) are now inactive, and will stay that way for good. 
I can't say that I will be on here often, but when I am, I will be sure to post things that aren't clout-y in my eyes. I know that I've tried to keep myself on track before, but the only way to actually do this is to let go of both accounts and start new all over again. 

I hope you guys can sort of understand, but it's like I had to adopt a chaotic attitude just to keep myself going some days. My work was not as mature as I hoped. And it hurt to see this "fake" me online that was so different and campy from how I actually am. 

 

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  • November 22, 2020 - 6:27pm (Now Viewing)

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7 Comments
  • anemoia (#words)

    also, may i ask what happened to minty leaf? did you delete it all?


    3 months ago
  • anemoia (#words)

    i am so glad to see you back here as the person you want to be. i've admired you for your courage and self-awareness since i discovered you. like taylor swift wrote, "the trick to holding on / was all that letting go." idk if it's relevant, i just loved her poems.
    anyway, thanks for everything and showing us what it means to be brave in our own ways.


    3 months ago
  • Jason_claire :)

    That's totally chill, I look forward to reading the rest of these


    3 months ago
  • Busssy.Beee

    I just read your footnotes, and i just want to say Your self-evaluations, personal honesty, and integrity just makes you such an admiration. From making a second channel to saying you need to start over, i always will look up to your example. i will wish you the best for all the troubles you have!! we are all here for you!! <333333


    3 months ago
  • ava09 (sorta back)

    aw yeah i totally understand. i know i do that too sometimes, and it can be really hard to be check yourself. i'm here if you need, and i can't wait to continue reading your writing! also, i love this piece. :) sending loads of hugs! <3


    3 months ago
  • abby.a

    i understand. wishing all the best for you, and i'm excited to see what you come up with. hey, new account, new you? well, whatever you do with this account, i'm here for it. <333 take your time, friend


    3 months ago
  • Cosmogyral

    good on you, i hope you find what you need in your writing soon.


    3 months ago