rosewrites

United States

An average girl who always has her nose in a book.
INFJ-T
HSP
She/her
16
EST. since August 2019
Junior in High School
A walking contradiction
Profile Photo from Picrew.me

Message to Readers

I appreciate all feedback - I like to know how the piece makes you as the reader feel, or what tone comes across.

Brainless

November 22, 2020

FREE WRITING

4
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. 
Dumb. Idiot. Brainless.

That’s what that test says. 
It stares at me, the results on the screen.
68/100. 

My lowest grade yet.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. 

But no! I’m smart. I am smart. That’s just
who I am. 

This grade. 
This electronic god, 
controlling my view of myself,

says I’m stupid. 

And

I believe it.

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  • November 22, 2020 - 6:03pm (Now Viewing)

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5 Comments
  • mystifiedtulip

    Getting bad grades isn't a sign of failure---its a sign of growth. (Kinda cheesy but who cares at this point!?) Any who, hope you don't feel like you a dumb, stupid idiot because of your mark on that test. I think that the test is the one who's dumb!

    Re: sending love and hugs to you! Tysm for the reassurance!!! <333 ;)


    about 2 months ago
  • BlueWolf

    Grades can be crushing and destroy your self confidence. You are wonderful and don't let grades define you. Sending hugs.


    about 2 months ago
  • rosewrites

    @everythingbagel

    Thanks for the comment! I wrote this piece to help me understand myself. I'm prone to define myself based on a grade or what someone says about me, and writing about it helps me to process it. I've always tried really hard in school and lately, especially with online learning and all, I've had a hard time staying on top of things. Something unconscious inside of me tells me that I'm bad or not me when I get a bad grade. Reinforcing positive thinking is something that I try to do, but it's hard when the problem is so engrained in my brain. Thanks tho!


    about 2 months ago
  • Book Kitten

    nooooooo! Don't believe its lies, you are wonderful! You are NOT stupid, dumb or brainless. You are amazing, smart and awesome. Never think other wise. We all believe in you!!


    about 2 months ago
  • everythingbagel (the cliffhanger goddess)

    As a person whose subject to bad grades (specifically in math) I know how it feels to look at these grades and be crushed.
    The best thing you can do is look over your scores and see where you went wrong and try to reinforce positive thinking. One bad test score does not define your intelligence, but rather reinforces your drive to do better.

    I hope you feel better soon. I loved this piece, btw.


    about 2 months ago