doodleninja

United States

18

~your local angst-y Christian girl~

ARMY <3

soli Deo gloria!

Message to Readers

I just really like writing in second person (I also talk to myself a lot in real life, is there a correlation?? XD)

i'm sorry, who are you?

November 29, 2020

FREE WRITING

21

you thought you were the one who wore a mask all this time
but perhaps
they only shoved this facade onto you
and you let yourself melt into
their mold of expectations

/are these tears washing away papier-mâché 
or are they acid running down your skin/

will they reveal the truth
or are they signs you are
    b r e a k i n g

there's nothing wrong
with being yourself

no, of course there is

you're not enough 
you need to be more

but is your current self
the enemy
or the objective?

should you be overcoming
or becoming

be more confident 
be more assertive

speak up
louder
bolder
stronger


but what if that's not you
what if beneath all these false faces
you are indeed 
​shy quiet meek boring unimpressive unmemorable 

is that so wrong
to be 
unideal?

yet still
you never had control of your identity
it was always chained to other people
because their perceptions of you
became you

you are your own person
no
make that 
you are your own people

carrying ten different personas on your back
and you’re not quite sure which one you were born with
there are skeletons in your closet
and they all bear your likeness

you hate yourself
but which one of yourselves do you hate


/all of them/
    every. single. one.


are you even a human anymore


what are you

perhaps you are a canvas
but you let others paint over you
you thought you knew who you wanted to be
now the idea is lost 
under layers of personalities you conjured
all to appease the masses

and who exactly are you

you thought you were calm
but
when you lose your cool
do you lose your identity too?

when you break your smile
do you slip towards destruction
or do you take a step towards becoming who you really are? 

will you ever be able to scrape away the muck
life has dumped onto you? 
will your true face ever see the light of day?
would you even know what that looks like? 

where are you?
what are you?
who are you?

​i'm sorry
​i don't know
not yet

not yet







 
a compilation of musings about identity

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  • November 29, 2020 - 9:45am (Now Viewing)

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27 Comments
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    Re: thank you, Doodle!!! I’m so glad you liked it! :)


    5 months ago
  • Jason_claire :)

    replying- Thank you, I like hugs, so thank you double, I don't really know what else to say other than that..


    5 months ago
  • In Which Yaya Writes

    Also, your PFP is so bright and happy and I love it XD.


    6 months ago
  • In Which Yaya Writes

    Wow, this is so deep and rich and raw, yet so simple. I’ve had similar thoughts. Like those posters that say “Be unique, be courageous, be fun,” then “be you.” Like, but what if “you” is not unique, courageous, and fun? And then that part about the personas; Does everyone else act different around different people? Like, here I’m loud, here I’m quite, here I joke around, here I sit and think... I like to think I’m a combination of all of that. But this is BEAUTIFUL and I love it.
    Replying: Thank you so much! I’ll return it :).


    6 months ago
  • anemoia by a thread

    re: ah yes tropies forever! someday, i'll be seeing stereotropes co on tv...
    any fancasting?


    6 months ago
  • lochnessie

    i love this!!!
    and re: wow your comment made my day, tysm!


    6 months ago
  • anemoia by a thread

    re: you're welcome! :)
    please let this be a tv series someday. please. gosh, that's ALL I WANT. DO YOU HEAR ME, NETFLIX/HULU/IDK AND IDC
    actually, our wifi is way too slow for any streaming service, so maybe just put it on a dvd? and on a normal channel available to all tv providers? ahhh it really is perfectly episodic


    6 months ago
  • ava09 (sorta back)

    wow this really makes you think tbh...i love it though!! i talk to myself too a lot and i like writing in 2nd person so maybe there IS a correlation lolll. :) this really resonated with me - you put those midnight i-can't-sleep-so-let's-have-an-existential-crisis thoughts into words XD
    replying: oh that's so cool!! where are your parent(s) from? i'm really glad you could relate and that it resonated with you! it feels good to not be alone in those thoughts you know? :) sending hugss <3


    6 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Re: Thank you! Aww I'm so happy someone noticed what I did there hehe.


    6 months ago
  • serein

    re: haha thank you! I'm probably not going to get a phone till im in college...(and by that time im going to buy it myself)


    6 months ago
  • Rose A(hiatus)

    ahhhhhh, this cut me deeply. I loved it though. :)


    6 months ago
  • ~Zoe N~

    re: aw thanks so much! I appreciate that!


    6 months ago
  • Busssy.Beee

    my delivery service: hello! today, im delivering the link for chapter 4! :)
    https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/205436/version/422398
    have fun reading!!


    6 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    Re: :)


    6 months ago
  • anemoia by a thread

    ok, kind of what jason_claire:) said. about going in so deep that i'm not sure what i think or who i am. also, i just love stereo tropes SO MUCH. HEAVENLY SUNSHINE LIQUID!!! Go Prose! Team Prinker! idk, i just needed to express my fangirling.


    6 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    Re: thank you! Yessss I love the series now! BTW, my name is Eden, of you don’t know. It’s nice to *properly* meet you! :)


    6 months ago
  • Jason_claire :)

    replying- totally, you do the same :)


    6 months ago
  • Jason_claire :)

    replying- wow, that's pretty chill. I'm not that good of an artist, but people are what I do best... I think.


    6 months ago
  • Jason_claire :)

    replying- Thank you, and you're welcome. Btw, I really like your profile pic; I think you drew it because you post different pics that have the same drawing technique, but yeah, just wanted to say that.


    6 months ago
  • Jason_claire :)

    Sometimes, I get so deep into trying to figure out who I am I just can't deal with life anymore. I don't know if it's like this where I've been molded into what others what until I'm an emotionless lump labeled 'life preserver' but sometimes it gets like that.
    Replying- Yaay :)
    Ha ligit the difference in these two comments...


    6 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    Re: YAYAYAY!! Thank youuuuu!!! I was SO EXCITED TO FIND YOUR SERIES! I’m sorry if I overwhelmed you with comments tho.... :)


    6 months ago
  • Just_A_Memory

    Here's to the publishing of Chapter 3! *Raises glass of apple juice* <3
    https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/205156/version/421790


    6 months ago
  • abracadabra

    i liked it a lot!! struck a chord within me :)


    6 months ago
  • Shay

    Re : thank you so much


    6 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Wow. I don't know what to say. This is heartbreakingly beautiful. <3


    6 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Re: Also Grammarly just had a heart attack over my last comment XD


    6 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Re: Thanks! Haha yep it do be like that sometimes.


    6 months ago