Anne Blackwood

United States

17
Christian
Poet
Singer
Theatre kid
Twin
Disabled (chronically ill)
Suspected autistic
ADHD
Highly Sensitive Person
XXFJ, Melancholic-Sanguine, ambivert

Joined 1/16/20

Message to Readers

Republishing because... ack

A Letter to the Heartless

March 1, 2021

FREE WRITING

25

To all who wish to use/manipulate/shatter me:

I'll probably let you.
I'll probably let you, and that scares me.

My heart is so big, and I let everyone in.
Everyone.
That shouldn't be a bad thing, but there is evil in this world.
I wish I could say I was bright enough
to see it coming, but I have a love-first, ask questions later policy.
And when love grows into trust, it's not always earned.

In class one day, we discussed our flaws.
Each person took turns agreeing
that they trust slowly.
And I had to admit that I have arms wide open.

You can read my emotions on my face.
I'd like to believe that you'll handle them with the utmost care,
but I know that there are those
who choose to twist and burn, and

I'll probably let you.
I'll probably let you, and that scares me.
I try to be pretty transparent here (yes, I see the irony), so here are just some honest thoughts. I'm working on this problem, but this piece needed to be written as a vent.

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  • March 1, 2021 - 11:03pm (Now Viewing)

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18 Comments
  • Nyla

    Awww this was written so well, the repetition of "I'll probably let you, and that scares me" just made it so emotional. I definitely have a problem with this too- but luckily I have some amazing friends right now that really help me. I know you posted this a while ago so I really hope you've gotten better at dealing with this! but in terms of writing, this story unfurled so nicely, "And when love grows into trust, it's not always earned" was just wow!
    RE: Awww that’s so beautifully put and very true! And hahah yeah sometimes it can be, but at least I don’t live in northern Canada where there’s snow year round! And haha yeah, it’s nice in small quantities otherwise you’re stuck just sitting inside! Haha, I’m always split in between the two, I’d love to go to the heat when it’s cold and love to go to the cold when it’s hot- although I am constantly cold so a warmer climate would probably suit me lol. Awww that’s so nice! And omg- that’s not impossible at all! That would be so cool! Horseback riding is def awesome, rock climbing is fun but I’m also always scared!! Lol, you don’t sound like a homebody at all! And ooh awesome with the music! Oooh I would probably want to either go to Italy for all the history and sitting in little cafes (I love Europe!) or New Zealand because it’s just so absolutely breathtaking and their PM is so awesome!


    6 months ago
  • one hundred forty-seven

    Re: Hey, sorry I'm replying late. Yeah, sorry about the migraine. I'm glad it went away pretty quickly! I see you published a new piece. I'm a little busy right now, but I'll have to check it out later!


    7 months ago
  • one hundred forty-seven

    Re: Aw, that's nice. Glad to hear it. Are you doing alright today?


    7 months ago
  • one hundred forty-seven

    Re: Thanks! And sure, I understand. I'll keep you in prayer.
    I'm glad you liked the new doctor. Did you have to visit a new one, or was it like a trainee at the office or something?


    7 months ago
  • one hundred forty-seven

    Re: Hey! Oh yeah, I just got back from a doctor's appointment too. Yeah, they wear you out! I got some better adrenal pills today, to help with fatigue, and I'm pretty excited to see if they work. How did your visit go?


    7 months ago
  • one hundred forty-seven

    Hey Anne,
    How are you doing today?


    7 months ago
  • happy butterfly

    beautiful,this really conforted me.i relate to this quite deeply i guess,it felt like you hit home.like you were venting for me and i felt understood


    7 months ago
  • Lata.B

    I can totally relate to this. Like how much I grow so close with people and they just end up hurting me. It's something I need to stop and this poem expresses this so well!


    7 months ago
  • _Delphiruns2theocean_

    Aw this is really beautiful! As someone who doesn't trust literally anyone unless they're like really good friends/family, I admire you for having arms open. I myself put up walls (especially around boys because I haven't met a guy who doesn't judge me yet, unless they're a close friend) and I wish I was more like you with the whole trust easily thing though :)


    7 months ago
  • Yellow Sweater

    The honesty in this is heartbreakingly beautiful


    7 months ago
  • Emi

    Aw, I wouldn't say it's necessarily a fault to be super trusting. I mean...there are advantages and disadvantages. Advantages being you're a great person that people can connect with easier because you are honest with them. People who don't trust super easily (myself included at times, I would be in the middle of the spectrum) seem to find it harder to make friends because they sometimes don't give people a chance. That's what I like about you a lot, that you are so welcoming to everyone even if you don't know them well, and you don't make judgements right away on people's character, which is what many distrustful people end up doing (and losing possible friends that way, and I speak from experience). My best advice would be to continue treating everyone in an accepting way, the way you already do which makes you so amazing, but also practicing the art of discernment and asking God to help you be able to understand who you can trust and who you can't.


    9 months ago
  • kiranpark

    re: thank you thank you thank you! i always strive for those kinds of vibes, so that makes me super happy :)))


    10 months ago
  • chrysanthemums&ink

    so glad you were able to write this! sometimes i find myself caught in the middle of being too trusting and too untrusting or too gullible and too incredulous. all the best wishes to you <333


    10 months ago
  • In Which Yaya Writes

    Why does this sound so much like me?? The best cure for this is to meet so many people who don't love you and will take advantage of you... but that's never a good thing XD. But this is a great piece, as in writing terms! Great job!
    Replying: (Of course I forgot to reply to your first comment XD) Oh, that's cool! I loved living in a small town. Now we live in a pretty big town, but it's not so bad. That other town's biggest accomplishment was definitely the Mexican restaurant XD.
    Awww, really?? That's so sweet! Did they like it?
    Oh, I meant I wouldn't know about because the only places I see those things is on social media XD.
    Ok, I'll definitely check it out! Thanks!
    I think I'd prefer books-to-movies, but the main way I learn about books that turn into movies is watching the movies XD.
    No! You monster XD. I'm NOT going to look it up. But one of my friends said she couldn't finish the movies because one of her favorite characters died... Oh no, I'm so scared. Look what you've done to me!! XD! He will always live on in my heart.


    10 months ago
  • Just_A_Memory

    Aw, this is so sad ;-;


    10 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    Sorry, let me clarify: I think it could make a great song.


    10 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    It reminds me of a song.


    10 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender (Semi-Active)

    Awww this gorgeous! It’s hard because it’s not a bad thing to be caring and loving like this, but it’s hard in the world we live in. I love this poem and the firm is great too!


    10 months ago