los libros de queenie (queenie's books)

United States

~i will be posting current stories i'm writing here to hold myself accountable.~

Message to Readers

okay, so i know this deals with some heavy topics, and
i made sure to ask my cousin, who is N-B
if it was okay to use their experiences with a
partner to write ana and quinn's narrative.

ana plus quinn (5) (tw in message box)

November 21, 2020

FREE WRITING

4
I didn’t mean for it to happen.
But when I woke up the next morning
Ana was curled up in my arms, wearing
Nothing but one of my shirts - a Beatles one that she’d probably gotten from one of my dresser drawers.

After leaving the ballet studio, we walked in silence. Ana just kept her head down and wouldn’t stop rubbing that one spot on her neck.

I knew she couldn’t go home like that, so I invited her to my place.
It was only my dad and I, and it had been that way for a long time. He’s an English professor at the local community college, a quiet, but opinionated guy, who I had inherited my curls from.
(I don’t know why that was important to mention, but here we are.)
He didn’t care that I used he/them pronouns, he just cared that I was happy and stuff.
I’m making him sound so..distant. But I swear, he’s a good guy.

We lived in a giant-high rise, bland and chrome-windowed. I ushered her in through the revolving glass door and gave the security guard at the front desk a little wave. He grunted in response.

The elevator ride - silence.

The walk down the hall - silence.
She winced when I put my house key in the lock. “Sorry..” She whispered, her voice barely audible.
I pushed open the door into our colorful, nerdy wonderland. Vinyl prints of video game characters are slapped across the wall, a flatscreen was mounted on a console table-thing, and scattered across the floor was a bungle of wires belonging to countless different consoles.

I led her to the couch, cushions stained and lopsided from years of spills and crumbed in between the creases.

She leaned up against my shoulder and sighed. “..Your place is..vibrant..” She said softly.
“Thanks.” My gaze flicked to the open bag of Cheez Doodles that was slumped over by the leg of the coffee table in front of us.
Squid had probably left them the last time he was over.
I picked it up and offered it to her.
“Want some?”
Her sorrowful expression cracked and she burst into sweet peels of laughter.  She reached into the bag, and scooped up a handful of the orange squiggles..

..and threw them at me.
It was all out out snack food war for a little while, that slowly evolved into a truce over champagne I dug out of the stash my dad kept in the cabinet under the kitchen sink.

We each drank one martini’s glass worth; not much happened in terms of inebriety.
Eventually, we ended up in my bedroom, still in a pretty tight lip lock. She was underneath me, and that same feeling I’d had in the dance studio washed over me again.

I pulled away, and Ana’s eyes widened.
“Did I do something..wrong?” She asked.

“No..it’s just.. I want..to..you know..”

She nodded and sat up. “I do, too.”

Suddenly, a certain shyness fell over us.
“…You’re sure?”


“Quinn, I wouldn’t be saying this if I didn’t love you.”

I knew in that moment, I loved her back, for real.
I slipped out into the hall and down to the bathroom. I flicked on the lights and rummaged around in the bathroom for the condoms my dad kept around for me, just in case I met that person, you know?

As I pulled one from the box, it hit me.

I was a guy now, right? I mean, doing it with a girl and stuff meant you were a guy..

Right?

I looked at my distorted reflection in the cellophane packaging and set it on the vanity.
Ana  loved me, and respected the
pronouns I used, whether they were him and them, he and they.
She’d never once recoiled or commented,
She’d love me no matter what I defined myself as.


I put the boxes back under the sink, shoved the condom in my pocket, and headed back to my room.
We slipped under my sheets and danced the waltz, the tango, all with a few gasps and giggles.

When the morning sun greeted me, and she was still by my side that morning, I breathed a sigh of relief.
She still loved me.
And I loved her back.

Print

See History
  • November 21, 2020 - 7:29pm (Now Viewing)

Login or Signup to provide a comment.

3 Comments
  • abby.a

    yoU ARE SO GOOD CIHWEGDDS’ASIB thank you for letting me know when a new chapter is out, btw i really appreciate it!! it always makes my day! :)))


    14 days ago
  • Paisley Blue

    Awwww, so sweet! You did a good job with the pronoun stuff :)) I love this story!! <3


    14 days ago
  • Love, Rose

    this is stunning


    14 days ago