bookmagic

United States

Formerly Bookmagic
Christian and biromantic asexual
she/her/
I'm weird, deal with it
Is constantly stuck in her own fantasies
Kotlc, Land of Stories, League of Archers, Bookwanderers, etc...
Hi Book Fairies

Message from Writer

"Each generation dumps their problems on the next because they simply don't have enough time to deal with them. I suspect that if they could see a bigger picture they would not destroy themselves and their planet the same way."
-Mr. Forkle/Shanon Messenger
I've got your back.
"At the heart of every season there's an inexplainable meaning. For winter, it's just a feeling ," - Me.

Why can't I just be normal?

November 18, 2020

FREE WRITING

10
First it's innocence,
You're too innocent to be my friend,
You're nice so you must be naive and weird,
Ummm...just no;


Then it's self-esteem,
Why is everyone so much better than me,
It seems that every time I get good at something,
They take it away, maybe I'm a failure;


Then it's reaction,
Why won't you let me do anything I want,
Why do you always make me do things I don't like,
I don't want to do this and you can't make me;


Then it's work,
Why can't I just focus,
I've been up for hours trying to finish this,
But my brain refuses to cooperate;


Then it's sleep,
Why can't I sleep at night,
Why do I always sleep through class,
I hate the sun;


Then it's the hate,
I hate everything,
I always have the worst luck,
As soon as I have to fend for myself I'm doomed;


Then it's my weirdness,
You're weird,
You don't have it? I feel sorry for you,
Why? Everyone else is doing it?;


Why can't I just be normal? Instead I have to be a failure who can't focus for long enough to meet deadlines and finish homework. I have no one to talk to about my interests because they aren't normal to most of the people I know (philosophy, writing, stickers, breaking-down songs to find their true meaning, over thinking things and being paranoid). Every time I build a kingdom it burns to the ground. I wish I could take a break, but that doesn't seem to be happening. And now the things I used to enjoy doing are back-firing just like everything else. And I have no one to talk to. My mom doesn't have the patience, my dad just answers the same un-helpful answer everytime, my sisters don't want to, and I can't trust my friends not to make fun of me or present an answer that they force me to go along with even if I don't agree. 
It's probably really selfish that I'm saying this, but I need to tell someone. Please don't think I'm a bad person or anything.

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13 Comments
  • Rohan’s Defender

    Re: Aw awesome! My favorite color is blue or turquoise too!
    My favorite books are LOTR and Hunger Games.
    Favorite book character is Peeta Mellark! It’s so cool to hear more about you!


    2 months ago
  • aiyanna

    That sounds really difficult, I'm sorry you feel that way. Know that you are not being selfish, I understand that feeling, but you truly are not being selfish. You have incredible writing and honestly, seem to have really neat interests. You have some very unique traits, have pride in them. :)


    2 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender

    Re: thank you so much! And I’d love to know a little more about you!
    What’s your favorite color?
    Favorite book?
    Favorite book character?
    And any other little things you’d like to share! I’m so excited to get to know you more! :) :)


    2 months ago
  • Jasmine khawar

    First thing- you need to love yourself, truly!!
    Second thing- you're not wierd, you're unique!! You don't think like others, you're rare!!!
    I know you're not a bad person, you're beautiful as the way you are.
    Don't think about failure, it'll distract you. Do your best and don't care about results, they'll surely be good!!
    If you can't focus, be clam, think positive, meditate (don't get frustrated in between) try to do your work calmly, peacefully. Just think you can do anything.
    Don't think about others, if you'll constantly think what others think, then your life isn't yours. Let them speak. Ignore. And try to focus on the real thing.
    Don't hate anything, this world is ugly too and beautiful too! Just think about things that makes you happy, you'll feel happy!
    Don't compare yourself with others, you're different, rare, unique in your own way. Try to find your real talent! It'll guide you right.

    I tried to slove your problems, as much as i can. Hope you'll feel better. If you want to share anything, i always, always, always here for you and ready to be your friend. I loved your uniqueness (not everyone break-down songs to understand by themselves!) <33


    2 months ago
  • seaomelette

    We're all here for you. *hugs* Why be just "normal", when you can be the super awesome, amazing person you already are? Everyone's quirky in their own right, and I, for one, love philosophy too! And it's okay to feel down - remember that you're not alone, and if you ever need support, know that everyone is rooting for you. <3


    2 months ago
  • Rohan’s Defender

    Oh, do you want to talk to me?! I’ll be your friend. I’d really like to get to know you. I think you sound like an amazing, talented, sweet, sincere person. I’m here for you. And your writing is PHENOMENAL!


    2 months ago
  • sci-Fi [kinda-sorta-maybe hiatus]

    Do NOT feel bad! I constantly say that writing is the best way I can express myself and get things off my chest. Especially when you write so beautifully like you did here, no one will complain.
    Just remember that we all feel like this sometimes. WtW is always here for u <3


    2 months ago
  • mindfruit (hiatus)

    Oh no....like SunV and BlueWolf said, don't feel bad about getting this off your chest and sharing it! Sometimes we just need to let out all of our stresses and problems. I think your poem really resonated with a lot of people (especially me), so just know that you're not alone, and we'll get through this together. You are an awesome person, and the whole community is here for you!


    2 months ago
  • Stone of Jade

    writing is the best way to rant. i will be praying for you and i want you to know all of us are here for you <3


    2 months ago
  • FantasyOtter12

    Powerful and really well written. Best wishes from me and the rest of this community <33 hang in there :)


    2 months ago
  • midnight.summerrose

    Omg this is heartbreaking yet so relatable. I am also an over thinker and everything seems hopeless sometimes. Don’t give up, you will get your chance to prove yourself. If anyone doubts you, it’s their stupidity. You are amazing! You are beautiful! You are so talented! You are enough! Your writing is beyond marvelous and you have soo much talent! People are just a bunch of idiots and you are far far better than all of them combined. Be strong. You are not alone, I have your back. If you ever need to talk, I’m here for you.


    2 months ago
  • SunV

    You are not a bad person! It's very valid reasoning. We all feel out of place, which is why some people choose to take it out by mocking others, while others choose to write. We're all here for you. I would love to talk about philosophy and breaking down songs to find their true meaning! If you ever want to talk, just reach out!


    2 months ago
  • BlueWolf

    You are not a bad person! I'm glad you got this off your chest. I can relate to so much of this. I am weird and it is hard sometimes. I overthink things and I am a perfectionist. People often dismiss it. Your poem really spoke to me. You write amazing things. You are special and a talented writer. If you want to talk about it or you need help just reach out. The wtw community is here for you and I am here for you if you need it ok?


    2 months ago