and it begins with/what do you want to be when you grow up/at the age of five/when they should really be asking/what do you love to do/and it's suffocating when you tell them you love to write/and your mother tells you at the young age of five/that a job in writing isn't feasible/and it tears something apart inside of you/when your father is telling his customer you want to be an author/but you have already discarded those dreams for someone else's/and it is their dream you're living/when you say you want to get a PhD/and you want to be a pediatrician/
"i want a hug"
and it's/i'm only in 6th grade mom/and/i'm only in middle school mom/and/i'm only a freshman mom/and finally it's/i'm a sophomore now/and it's crashing down on you when you realize that you need to graduate early/because who wants to graduate college at the age of 30/where you've given half your life away towards a degree instead of enjoying it like the others/and you're cracked/deciding these things/when you want to graduate with your friends/and your heart is longing for the home you haven't left yet/and you're growing up too fast/and you're leaving home in a year/and you're only 15/
"it's alright to cry"
and you are the smart one in the family/they expect so much/on your frail little shoulders/and you pretend and push away your future for as long as you can/until it swallows you whole in a single bite/because you're giving up your childhood/for that taste of success/when you know deep inside that all you want to do is go back in time/to the days where you could color outside the lines/and sleep in the middle of class without getting in trouble/and is that too much to ask/
"no matter what you do, i'll always be proud of you"
they stain your tongue/like drops of crimson scarlet/and you are indebted from the moment you are born/and pride is a shackle added to your ball and chain/and it's suffocating you more than helping you/it's like you'll never be good enough/and it's not an option to fail/because your parents were born in poverty/and they've given you everything/every opportunity/and you have to make them proud/and make their sacrifices worth it/because you were born with the world handed to you on a silver platter/
"our little girl is leaving the coop"
and it's goodbyes and farewells/and you're packed off to college in a tiny mini cooper/and tears are streaming down your face/and it's like clarity in that second/a glimpse of the future in two years/and perhaps it's not that bad/perhaps it's just the cover of youth concealing the realities of eternal bliss/and you're scared/so very very scared/but the kind of excited scared/that has your heart racing and pounding inside your chest/and you are graduating next year/and it hurts so much/yet you're smiling too wide/and perhaps this is your happiness/
The very existent struggles that purge my soul. Tell me, what is right and what is wrong?