cherrylantern

United States

15
she/her | canadian born indian living in america
most likely having an existential crisis while you are reading this.

Message from Writer

"if you lose yourself, who dreamed of tomorrow; can you truly say that you are happy?"

starships were meant to fly (but i guess mine will keep crashing and burning)

November 16, 2020

FREE WRITING

2
i don't value you that much.
i'm serious.
after these 3 remaining years end, i'll leave for a place faraway without shedding a single tear.
i'll be gone without a remaining trace.

i have aspirations,
to soar higher,
to pay my mom back at least a little for taking care of me.

so why does it sound like i'm convincing myself when i say i want to leave?

it's because of him,
because we endured nagging from our mothers in a language only we could understand since we were young,
because i took care of him like he was my own younger brother,
because we moved together from a place that was warmth and familiarity,
to a place that cold and foreign,
and he was the only one i knew.

the memories of all you seem to torture me without fail, because you were never there for me
that day i free-fell into an abyss,
and called for help,
and all of you seemed to block out the sound of my voice.

i still remember...
your face when you were afraid of the huge waves at the beach,
your love for donuts,
when you came to me for comfort.

i idealized you.
i can't seem to let go of the fact that all of these memories aren't who you are now.

 

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2 Comments
  • SunV

    Ok, I love this! As crystalline•galaxies said, it sounds so poetic, and every drew me in. Great writing!

    Welcome to WtW! I'm SunV, and you can ask me anything you have in mind! I'll be sure to get back to you as soon as I can.


    6 months ago
  • crystalline•galaxies

    oh, i love how literal and yet poetic this piece is; they compliment each other very nicely. your line "so why does it sound like i'm convincing myself when i say i want to leave?" really hooked me in for some reason. it's placed in such a good spot. the whole structure is lovely, actually, if i'm going to be honest. great work!


    6 months ago