Be Happy, Bastard

November 17, 2020

  “Everyone, welcome to our merry circus! What fascinating things we’ll be seeing today!” The ringmaster yelled with enthusiasm into the mic he was holding, putting his other hand up in joyous unite with the crowd. The crowd roared in excitement.
  “Now, now, let’s not get too excited! Our first act today will be by our humorous clowns! Harry and Avery the clowns, please come to the stage!” Vincent held up an exaggerated pose to signal their entrance onto the stage. Harry quickly sneaked up behind Vincent as the children laughed.
  “Harry? Avery?” Vincent played dumb, looking around in a cautious gaze towards the crowd. Avery covered her mouth as Avery and Harry jumped up to scare Vincent. Vincent expectantly widened his eyes, tripping and falling onto the puddle of water behind him. The clowns and the crowd laughed, but the clowns shivered just slightly as they see him get up angrily. Was it just a facade?
  “There they are! How clumsy of me!” Vincent forcibly chuckled a little and continued to narrate their acts. I stared at Vincent behind the curtains. Beside me, was my friend from another act, shooting heart eyes towards Vincent.
  “Look at Vincent! Oh, his flawless black hair! His enthusiasm looks so real!” Gina exclaimed, shoving me excitedly. I glanced at her with a piercing gaze. She has no idea, does she?
  “Prized and flexible, she’s just stepping stone to me.” That’s what Vincent said to me once. How could she take my place? That’s what I’m meant to be. Gina quickly looked down. A tinge of guilt struck me. It wasn’t her fault. She just didn’t know enough.
  “Sorry, Gina. I know you’re trying to cheer me up,” I said gratefully. She nodded warily and continued to prepare her splits.
  “You better not fall,” Patrick said. I gulped, fiddling my fingers around in a nervous stance. He was not threatening me- he was just more aware of the consequences if I were to mess up.
  “I know,” I muttered.
  “Now, welcome the acrobats! Patrick, the star of the show with his partner, Holly Reid!” Vincent shouts and the children screamed to welcome us.
  I gulped one last time before placing a confident expression on. This was who I’m. I’m confident now. I pushed my pink hair behind my ear. I stride to the stage, grinning ear to ear as I held tightly to Patrick’s hand.
  This is who we are meant to be. We gave each other flirtatious looks, doing somersaults and hand walking. Two of Patrick's men started forming the human ladder, as I continued entertaining the audience. I pushed my pink hair again behind my ear.
  Look at me! I’m amazing! I’m amazing! Patrick started running to the trampoline as he tried to cover his arms shaking nervously. Please don't make another mistake... He leapt, landing perfectly on the man’s shoulders. The crowd cheered, as Vincent tried to beat the crowd volume.

  "Patrick landed!" I jumped up and down. I was so happy...
  My eyes wandered through the crowd. He must be here. He did love me. He would fulfil his promise.
  “Holly’s turn to complete the human column! Will she be able to do it?” The ringmaster cried out, pointing his finger towards me mockingly with his daring eyes. The crowd cheered and the children laughed at the harmless tease.
  No. I shall not let him faze me. I concentrated on the human column, jumping on the trampoline.
  Turn three times. Fly. It’s there! I see it!
  I landed on Patrick’s shoulders, beaming to the crowd. My feet clenched onto his shoulder. His hands pat twice on my leg. We did it.
  The lost acrobats’ eyes roamed through the crowd, trying to find their loved ones frantically. Save me from this hell. This was not where I wanted to be.
  Constricted and restricted, afraid of a mistake every second of our lives. The blinding bruises were imprinted on our body. This was not what we wanted to be.
  It was sad how the chained promise broke so gently. Our only hope was gone.
  He really did lie.
  I jumped off the human column, giving the crowd a perfect shock. I rolled on the ground, standing up. We did it perfectly. It was all perfect- there was nothing that could possibly go wrong!
  “What an amazing and perfect performance it was! Next..” Vincent said. We turned our backs and ran back to the backstage. I sat on a seat, brimming of vengeance and betrayal. All of this is wrong. What am I even trying to do, convincing myself of such a horrible lie?
  Hayden Reid, didn’t you promise you would come? You liar. Lies need consequences, so I’ll show you how angry I’m.
  The circus show was finished. I stared and waited for the last few lucky souls to walk out of the tent. My murderous eyes fixated at the last three children. My conscience melted away.
  It’s sad. They did nothing wrong, but all lies need to have desirable consequences.
  Hayden spoke,” I promise-“ His face slowly started peeling off. A strip of rotten skin opened to expose his thin bones. The blade starts to get deeper into the first child skin. Others stood in terror. How could something so dear to them turn out so wrong? That was the same question I had.
  "I would-" His red hair disappears, turning him bald. Wasn’t this my choice after all? I brought this upon myself.
  His face became nothing but bones, with his mouth speaking still,” see you when you shine,” The children screamed. The blade sinks furiously and the blood starts to flow. The children’s bodies fell limp. Why didn’t he protect me? He must have known! He knew that they would do this to me!
  “So- “ I continued the sentence along with him and a smile crept up to Hayden’s face. I held up my bloody hand.
 “Be happy, bastard.”
  My bruised body shimmered in happiness.
Later on, she realizes that they never had that sibling love in the first place. Did she just want it to exist so she could be saved? Or does she wish for another person's love for her? Anyone who sees only a facade would dismiss her as a villain, but as a writer, I believe that there are always two sides in the story. 

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