lochnessie

Australia

14
she/her
proud big sister <3

Message from Writer

fireful.

rainchild

November 16, 2020

FREE WRITING

10
they say the eyes are mirrors to the soul :

if i looked in your eyes i wouldn't see a thing / you blink too much / you look away when i look at you / you're the shyest most outgoing person i know. / you're definitely the loudest / but i don't think your talking really speaks. / i think your pale eyes are mirrors, yes / reflecting shallow pools and thunderstorms / and the rain at night /

you're a little like the person i wish i was / and a little like the person i am / and mostly yourself and somebody else,/ born of the rain at night / your eyes reflect the multitudes of out-of-reach / and crashing tides and rock-pools in the sun /

if you looked in my eyes, you'd see yourself. / and if you're my soul, that fits, doesn't it?/

 
i just spent 20 minutes describing someone's eyes
help

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  • November 16, 2020 - 12:27am (Now Viewing)

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11 Comments
  • mirkat

    https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/202939/version/415893


    10 months ago
  • mirkat

    beautiful.... eyes! i love eyes! personally, my eyes are my favorite piece of me (and there are a lot of pieces as i am quite broken). they lead to a person's soul and they glimmer and can also look tired and sunken and now i need to write a poem thanks so much ness! <3<3<3


    10 months ago
  • pyrrhic

    the eyes are my favorite thing about people... and i think you described them wonderfully. beautiful :)


    10 months ago
  • crystalline•galaxies

    this is... so gorgeous?? you managed to describe someone's eyes without sounding too cheesy. congratulations! but seriously, i actually adore this piece. the title is so cool.
    re: there are so many people i need to write poems for...


    10 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Re: Thank you! Do you have any critique for it? I'd like it to be as polished as possible b4 submitting it.
    Aww bb nooo I'm sorry! That is such a sucky feeling and you basically just have to ride it out but I know you've got it in you.


    10 months ago
  • rwong

    re: nicknames for me?? lol that's a really good question; my friends rarely use a nickname (full name basis here ;D) lol but if they do, it's usually "shelli" (even shorter: shell, i respond to both. usually) XD can i call you ness?


    10 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Re: Psshhh fine we'll just leave it at a draw.
    Lol *throws you a rope and some oreos*


    10 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Hehe I once spent longer writing about an old crush's eyes and once about a friend's eyes and this is definitely better than both of them combined lol


    10 months ago
  • BlueWolf (Semi Hiatus)

    Gorgeous!!! I love this! Every line flows and I can really become immersed in the atmosphere.


    10 months ago
  • Starlitskies

    Wow this is truly a beautiful piece. I loved how the writing contradicts itself at certain points. It's really poetic. "but i don't think your talking really speaks." I especially love love love this line.


    10 months ago
  • rwong

    ahhhhh but can i mention...20mins well spent!! this is so gooodddd <3 you're such an amazing writer ahhhh <3 <3 <3 <3


    10 months ago