sunny.v

United States

she/her | asian
wtw community’s official older sister
running off into the sunset with circe
est. april 27, 2020

swordwielding protector of all minority groups
resident lady knight

she clasps peonies, allure, & love

Message to Readers

thank you everyone so much for the love last piece! also, same as last time, but if you read between the lines, it’s kinda heavy. fair warning.

alternatively, i remember to stay:

November 15, 2020

FREE WRITING

13

so i’m drinking with tempests in a motel room, lightning bugs on the lampshades / and the stupid tele starts ringing. ’nd says something kinda-sorta shattering like:
“& i wish i could steer you off the highway and tell you it’s okay to to take the side roads.”

& it’s like / man, do you even know what you’re wishing for? / i don’t exist, babe. i’m not real. i am a specter held to this plane by the string of this seatbelt. / i will take us both hurtling right past the speed limit and if you try to open the door i’ll laugh and laugh and / thank you for coming along with me for the ride. it’s the last thing i’ll see. / & you’ll ask me what that means.

but it still sounds like: “& i want to catch you with both arms and pluck you out of the sky & parachute you with me down to earth & tell you that we can stay here for a quiet while (we can lay on the grass and watch the sky from here)” / & now it’s starting to look like a mirage, one of those halfway to the afterlife visions you start seeing when your thread of a heartbeat starts getting pulled taut. / i want you to catch me, but i don’t ask it. / i want to stay here with you, but i think my roadmap is upside down. / & now i’m thinking that i want you to ask me how to stay still, / but you can’t teach a falling object to grow wings. / all things plummet like a birthright, in the end.

“i want to place the entire world in your glowing fingertips & tell you you deserve every damn thing in it / and i want to tell you that it’s ok to not be ok” / and i think i’m so close to letting the rain fall. my eyes sting, & it’s like / you don’t have to ask me what that means, do you?

“& sometimes i want to say this in the flesh so you know i’m real and that we both sleep under the same moon at night” / we’re real? we’re real. / we’re real, we’re real. i am here & / i want to be real. God, i don’t want to fall alone. / make me real, tell me you can feel me. / press your palms to my cheeks and keep me on this planet. / i don’t want to be a part of the choir & it’s starting to turn into: / hold my trembling hands and tether me here & i want this to turn into / we are real. we are the ones who live.

“& i love you / & i want to tell you i love you (we can go find heaven together eventually)” / & it’s starting to look like / i’ll stay. i’m staying. / we are real, you are real, and i am staying, you dummy. as if i could / forget those lilies in that pond. / Christ. you made me stay. / & it’s starting to turn into the funny little fact that i think / i’ll always be the one who stays, if you ask me to. /
-so, in response to my latest piece “sometimes, i forget to”, my dearest friend joella (you may know her as white mountains) wrote me a piece in response. everything in quotation marks are lines from her piece, which is unfortunately not posted on this platform. but this is my sappy response to her sappy response.
-and i’m doing alright, guys :). still causing trouble like the little monster i am irl, but it’s all good. the world is right with my catastrophic behaviors <3

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  • November 15, 2020 - 11:50pm (Now Viewing)

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4 Comments
  • lochnessie

    rahhhh i love this so much


    4 months ago
  • Wisp

    This was just so sweet honestly, with the whole interaction between you and joella. You guys just made my heart swell and it was so eternally affectionate that it was as if I had been intruding on a private moment.
    And I'm glad you're doing alright, we all love our little monster with her catastrophic tendencies :)
    Replying: Is it too pretentious of me to say I knew you'd find it? But anyways, think of it as my little gift that had no name tag, but when you found it, you just knew it was for you :) And awww, I'm so content (I wish there were some stronger emotion to describe this in the right way) that you found it comforting, because that was kinda the whole vibe I was going for. Also, profound??? That is just haha, I can't quit smiling like an idiot over here. And of course, much love to you <3 <3 <3


    4 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    Re: awwwww that is so beautiful!! "And eventually all the i's will be lowercase" omg i loved this. Wow these three pieces—both of yours and hers—are stunning. They fit together like puzzle pieces!!! Im always amazed by how talented you and many others are. <333


    4 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    "but you can’t teach a falling object to grow wings. / all things plummet like a birthright, in the end"
    "hold my trembling hands and tether me here & i want this to turn into / we are real. we are the ones who live"
    These two lines really spoke to me. This is so beautiful and sure its sappy but you kniw what, sometimes we need to be sappy for the people we love. Wish I could see joella's piece—it must be brilliant to prompt something as stunning as this! I absolutely adore the warmth and love soaked into these words. We love you, girl <33 always hanging around in case you need to vent! <333


    4 months ago