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Message to Readers
If you've got time, I'd love feedback :)
As I said in my comment, I love how you describe every detail, add background to the town, subtle clues as to what Anson’s life is like, and make the story seem real rather than a sequence of actions on a page.
Hmm, I think you hit the details really well. Maybe you could describe more of the landscape, or further details into Anson’s or Jun’s life. Is there a specific reason Jun is going to Alaska; his parents, for example? It doesn’t have to be large chunks of backstory, just subtle clues and descriptions.
You have a great piece here! I really love every thing about it. You make us want to know more about Anson and Jun, both their backstory and their future. You should continue it! Good luck in the competition!