mirkat

United States

she/her│infp-a
est. 10/15/20

"take me with you, finished thing"
"too dizzying to love anywhere
but from a distance"

have an ineffable day!

<3<3<3

Message to Readers

Thank you all for your support and kind words and critique! It really means so, so, so much to me. I am lucky to be part of this amazing community of writers and people and thinkers. You guys are kind. So kind.... I will leave it at that! This is my final submission for this competition, my first on WtW! I wish everyone who entered the best of luck!

All That Rain Has Heard

November 17, 2020

It was a grand old street, one that had seen the face of time. Sprawling oak trees lined the sidewalks and stretched on as far as the eye could see. The autumn leaves were beginning to take on marvelous shades of gold, crimson, and maroon. A splash of burgundy here and ochre there. The sky peeked through the canopy of leaves, a gray backdrop, a witness for what was to come and what had already happened. Clouds hung low in the sky, swollen with the promise of rain.

A wisp of wind rolled by, laughing and whispering. It was one of those gusts that was silver in spirit, glistening and electric and alive. The wind ruffled Oliver's chestnut brown hair as he hurried forward, zipping his windbreaker jacket up to his chin. He hated the cold and autumn; he hated anything to do with pumpkin spiced lattes and warm, cozy nights sitting by the flickering fireplace. They reminded him too much of the times that were gone now. Curled up with Penn at his side... He shivered, shaking his thoughts away from that glorious night. Oliver adjusted his messenger bag one last time. It hung crooked, resting against his hip and pulling on his shoulder.

How he wished Penn had never... oh everything would be much simpler. Yet here he was... walking, alone. Penn had always made Oliver feel safe and loved and she is-- was-- beyond everything-- no, his mind couldn't wander there. Instead, he took all his memories of Penn-- beautiful, kind, loving Penn-- and shoved them in a box. Best that they stayed there, in his mind under lock and key. You never can know what dreadful things happen when the memories keep swirling in your brain, a whirlwind. Before long, they can't be locked up and you're stuck between the past and the future with no way out.

Oliver stopped walking for a second. He took a deep breath in, squinting his emerald green eyes. "Stop it," he whispered aloud, letting the wind carry his demand away before it could reach his head. "Stop it. Stop it! Penn..." The bitter sting of defeat rose in Oliver's throat.

If only he told her that she was loved and he cared and he was there. If only he hadn't spent so many days making up his mind. If only, if only.

That's all life was to Oliver. Wishes that never came true and regrets that always did.

After trying to hide the memories away for so long, one slipped through the crack in the box. It filled Oliver's mind with the smell and sight and wonder of Penn. Penn. Oh, Penn. Oliver couldn't take it. He cursed, spitting the obscenity onto the sidewalk. He paused and glanced around. Nobody was out. Cars were safely tucked into driveways and houses were drawn shut, blinds hugging sad-looking windows.

Oliver took a deep breath in and lifted his head to the sky. It was clouded with leaves from the sturdy oaks and strewn with clouds full of rain. Yet Oliver looked past all of that and he saw how deep the sky was, stretching on and on. The vastness of it all. He closed his eyes once more. Deep breath in and then out... he felt a silent tear fall from his eyes.

And then he let out a whimper that rose and rose until it was a scream. A scream full of pain and sorrow. Regret and nostalgia. A scream that rattled his lanky form. A scream from the pit of his stomach. Not words, of course, just pure agony for all that he had lost. Penn. Perfect, smiling, laughing Penn. He screamed and screamed until there was nothing left but longing and hope for Penn, a person who Oliver would never see or hear or smile with again. A person who had changed him. A person who knew and loved and lived for him. 

When at last Oliver released the bulk of his hurt out, the cool rain began to fall. It held the rhythm of a heartbeat, steady and sure. Over and over, on and on. The rain kept falling, mixing with Oliver's tears that were streaming down faster and faster now. The water seethed and rippled, falling into Oliver's open mouth. It raced down his head and traced its way over his body reminding him of the thousands of moments overlooked and the millions remembered. He breathed in the fresh smell of wet asphalt and newly cut grass and water and dew and hope. Of forgetting and remembering. Of joy and sorrow. 

"Goodbye, Penn," he murmured. The rain lifted his farewell up, up, up into the grey sky and it joined the tens of thousands of other goodbyes and hellos that were once whispered in the presence of raindrops.

 
6:30 ish (11/16): Wordcount still at 805. Changed some grammar and paragraphing. Thank you so so so much to anemoia & lattes (#dreams of autumn) for her amazing review!!! seriously guys, she is awesome!!! and... i think i shall submit this? thank you? all of you really. sweet dreams!
6:30 ish (11/15): Wordcount at 805. Thank you, thank you, thank you to peer reviewers Ava Feltham and katnissromanoff. Your suggestions and comments really helped me understand things a little bit clearer! I think that I am going to submit this tomorrow, the 16th, as it is due the 17th. Thank you to everyone who left a comment, like, or review!
6:30 ish (11/14): Wordcount at 804. Got inspiration for a few words to add here and there. Thanks to anemoia & lattes (#dreams of autumn) for her wonderful title ideas! loved 'em all!
10:30 ish (11/14): Wordcount at 801. Added more adjectives and stuff. Fixed a few grammar and flow issues.
9:30 ish (11/14): Wordcount is at 800. I decided to submit for this competition! Thanks so much Abby.a for your preliminary review. I mostly changed things in the 2nd to last paragraph. I think I need maybe one or two more reviews before I wrap everything up and submit it for good. It's due on the 17th of Nov. so I got some time! Anyway! Do you guys have any title suggestions? <3

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1 Comment
  • ~madeline~

    This is soooo good Mir!!! You portrayed the emotion sooo beautifully. It brings up questions, but not to many and gives us the perfect amount of information. This legit makes me want to cry because you portrayed the emotions so well XD Good luck to you too!!


    6 months ago