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Nana [she/her]
est. 6/19/20
14│INTJ-T│pianist│writer│Christian│Slytherin

*A walking contradiction*
*Aspiring Neuroscientist*
"writing, to me, is simply thinking through my fingers," - Isaac Asimov

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Message to Readers

Random piece that I submitted to a lit. magazine. What do you think?

asphyxiation

November 19, 2020

FREE WRITING

13
Submerged in my woes,
I only descend deeper & deeper
until the surface, dubbed as hope,
is no longer visible to my scorching
eyes. Despite my agonizing cries,
it seems as if I’m invisible to the beaming
bystanders; can they truly discern me?
Are my muffled shouts simply a product
of their euphonious hymns?
Or rather, a product of
my own mental
negligence?
Regardless, 
foolish quandaries 
are the least of my banes.
As if my own tears, my sorrows, 
are stifling me, my breath gradually begins
to relinquish. The epitome of banditry, or
perhaps indifference, only continues to 
                            suffocate me- relentlessly. And just like
                                 that, the severity of my own faults
                                                           drive me into a state of
lethal transcendence.

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8 Comments
  • beth r.

    the title, the diction- so like, regal.
    re: aw thanks!


    5 months ago
  • Rachaelgrace

    wow, this is amazing. you are so talented! review on the way.


    5 months ago
  • happygiggles

    I hope you're doing okay! This is breath-taking yet so so meaningful, like a song of sorrow, playing on repeat. Always here if you need a chat! ((:


    5 months ago
  • Elizabeth Lewis

    This is awesome! I loved reading it and it was really cool to see structure of the poem. Please know that you are heard! You are not alone! God hears you! And you are loved!!!


    5 months ago
  • Huba Huba

    This piece is so beautiful! The rhetorical questions bring in so much meaning, and the structure of it fits so well!


    5 months ago
  • storie_bird

    this is such a breath-taking poem...I like the strong diction!


    6 months ago
  • mirkat

    re: thanks so much! i actually submitted a poem to ice lolly review and got the news today that it will be in issue 5! <3<3<3


    6 months ago
  • mirkat

    woah. this is so deep and emotional and raw. not wild tho, it's too sculpted to be wild. i love this... the beginning really pulled me in and then i sank and here i am on the other side and it was a marvelous journey and your words have so much impact. thank you and this is very reltalbe. also may i ask what lit magazine? i really want to enter my writing somewhere... <3<3<3


    6 months ago