abi's pov

United States Minor Outlying Islands

WtW's resident disappearing act

a WtW vet

tbh, i forgot exactly when i joined - late 2019

Message to Readers

Here’s a poem about my own feelings that i often invalidate because i’m dumb.

Kiddos, family’s tough, but you’re tougher. Family is hard and it’s hard sometimes to love them. It’s okay to be able to realize that family members can have their flaws (even when they can’t realize that). You’re not hating on anyone in your family for realizing that there are aspects of their person that you don’t agree with. It’s not something that you should just struggle through because they're your family or whatever. You can still love someone and recognize their flaws.

stay safe, stay cool!

love,
your angsty wtw older sister

maxima natarum |

November 13, 2020

FREE WRITING

1
my father’s betrayal is engraved onto the callouses of my hands.
    it is a footnote in every essay i write.
it is the adrenaline that flows through my veins as i run. 
    
        [and yet, i bear the title of eldest daughter 
                as a labor of love.
            i scrounge for the bits of validation like dog 
                as they drip from his frozen heart.]


                                                        some days, i think i would drop that match to feel the warmth of his heart.

my father's betrayal is the pain that aches in my back
    as i hunch over scraps of homework
-- a petty, desperate attempt to win that golden crown.

        [he has already been crowned, though, 
                so, as shaky hands scratch out equations, 
            resentment flows like milk and honey 
                   and encouragement to him.]


                                 i don't want to be praised for being better than anyone else. yet, that is the only tiara i bear. 

my father's betrayal is the nerves under my skin,
    buzzing and trembling as i answer a question in literature class
-- too afraid of failure to try at all. 

        [i feel like icarus everytime failure greets me
             -- a stupid kid who should've known better
           than to attempt to defy or dare
                 to be something greater than that which was set before you.]


                                                                icarus seems more a victim than a fool every passing day. 

my father's betrayal is the water that cools my fiery temper.
    it is the block i sharpen my wit on.
it is the straw effigy i burn to keep myself and others warm.

                    and although i was always the most similar to him, 
                                                                                    my father's betrayal is tattooed to my conscience
                                                                                   and the eldest daughter is forged. 

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  • November 13, 2020 - 5:01pm (Now Viewing)

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