almost flora kane

United States

my pen name is flora kane. i'm a slytherin, infp-t, christian, and generally insane. joined 3.30.2018.

~ will do reviews on request ~

currently hoping i don't lose anyone else.

Message to Readers

are you a perfectionist too?

this is what perfectionism really feels like.

November 13, 2020

FREE WRITING

9

making excuses not to  s t a r t./procrastinator before anything,/
                                always at heart/
                                afraid of the finish line,/or the lack of one. 

they say “nobody’s perfect,”/
                and i want to prove them wrong./
nobody’s perfect, it’s an impossibility,/
                but as my heart beats/
                                                    one-two, one-two,/
                                                    i will, i will
/
            nothing is farther from the truth. 

they say:/
you can do anything if you believe in yourself./
                                                well, the first thing i wanted to do was be a fairy,/
                                                the second/was to be perfect,/
and no matter what i promise/
i’m thrown further and further/
d
    o
        w
            n/
                the rabbit hole/
                where magic isn’t real and/
neither is perfection. 

i break my nails clawing on the edges of "i can't do it,"/
                 dirt crashing down from the sides of the well/
i bury myself alive in the/
                                                    “i’m not good enough”s/
and it breaks my heart over and over again. 

it, in truth, is only me./
                                    fading out accomplishments for failures/
                while my far fetched fantasies/
                play out on a vhs tape./
my mirror mirror on the wall tells me/
                                    i’m not the fairest of them all,/
           instead,/the reigning evil of my fairytale. 

there’s a war going on,/it’s bloody and exhausting and/
        i don’t want to get out of bed to fight,/
so i sleep in… just five more minutes./
                                                my mortal enemy takes advantage./
                                                it leans in and rears its/
        perfectly/
            illogically/
                justified/
                    head./
i can’t stop repeating/
“why can’t you do one thing right?”/
                                        and i realize now,/
                    on the other side,/
                    there is another side,/
that the worst mistake of my life was trusting a vicious cycle. 

the serpent draws near to my ankles./
                                                            i know full well that the venom/
                            will make it to my brain in/
                            half a second./
but i don’t want to do this anymore. 

“i’m good enough,”/
i whisper./

this time,/
i almost believed it.
ok i change the format... you like or no?

i never beg for feedback, but this is for a huge project that i'm doing. it's eventually going to become a video and this spoken word poem is to be a voice over. any feedback you have is so helpful. i love you all<3

Print

See History
1
  • November 13, 2020 - 3:07pm (Now Viewing)

Login or Signup to provide a comment.

5 Comments
  • Wisp

    Replying: Thank you so much! I'm actually astonished that you read the whole thing in one sitting since it's such a long piece.


    5 months ago
  • Wisp

    You know, I remember when you just a little somebody and had a different profile picture. How far you've come, and how much your writing has changed--it is truly amazing. Also, I just wanted to thank you almost flora kane. I recently hit a milestone of 103 followers and I wanted to personally say thank you to you. You gave me encouragement and support in my writing and gave me the gift of being able to be confident in my work, for that I am eternally grateful. You gave me small things with just a click of a button, and it evoked so much joy from me. I know we don't interact much, but I truly cherish each of our interactions--you've given me a gift to be confident in what I write. So thank you for that, it truly means the world to me.
    And don't forget to give yourself a break from time to time and just take a moment to breathe and relax. I hope you're not as stressed these days!
    (Also, I'm doing a dust jacket, so if you have any questions, send them my way!)


    6 months ago
  • Wisp

    1. Yes I'm a perfectionist too.
    2. This piece is beyond words.
    -And I said it was beyond words, but I will at least attempt to capture everything this made me feel.
    There's so much raw emotion in this and I can relate to this on a personal level. The formatting creates an aesthetically pleasing piece as well as makes it come to life. Like I can feel the words jumping out at me. This piece resonated with me on a spiritual level and it made my heart ache, because gosh almost flora kane you nailed the emotion so perfectly. You extracted so much of my recurring thoughts and put it in this piece, you described a feeling that torments me during the day and haunts me in the night. And I cannot describe how much I love it. I cannot describe how the formatting, the diction, your writing all together brings it perfectly together in the most wonderful way.


    6 months ago
  • anemoia (#words)

    oooh i love the new formatting. and yeah, i'm a perfectionist and not proud of it. gosh, i wish i could meet all of you people. i think that i would get along very well with you, flora kane. or maybe not. but who knows? and either way, i love your work.
    also, i'd love to see you respond to poetri's prompt "write a poem about yourself as if you were your own best friend." katnissromanoff, paisley blue, poetri, myself, and others i'm forgetting have done them.


    6 months ago
  • mirkat

    oh the new formatting makes it! i'm reviewing the old one rn....


    6 months ago