United States

basically ia | male | freshman

Message to Readers

i hate thisssssssss. also typos.

before i burn for you

November 15, 2020



orange rains from the sky like
a wildfire peels at the edges.
the sun melts like a birthday
candle; i catch the drip in a
flower vase. you watch as the
air thickens to a sweet poison,
enough to be ladled into hot
bowls. splattering yourself
cobalt against the sidewalk,
you try to ask the sky to spare
me. the puddle of you on the
ground: the clouds sip it like
fine wine and spit it out. i hold
your nonexistence like a prayer
in between my teeth and breathe
in the vestiges of our past lives.
you weep into the grooves of my
scorched breast bones, tears spilling: 
oil slicking the dents of your
sunken cheeks. my stomach bursts
into flames and carves cobalt
butterflies into its blackened walls
as you clutch the ashes of my 
shadow to the watery crook of your
lubricated collarbones; your gasoline.
i bake the final remains of my heart
into a clay cup and tell you to pour me
a drink to the brim. my skin burns. 
you tell me that you are sorry. 
i tell you that there is nothing
to be sorry for. you say that you 
should've known. i say that i 
wouldn't have had it any other way. 

i hate this sm but i had to write. there are so many improvements to be made, but it's too late, so i'll just leave it here. 


See History
  • November 15, 2020 - 2:16am (Now Viewing)

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  • inanutshell

    i'm never not in awe of how you constantly manage to convey so much meaning & emotion with such sharp imagery. already starting off strong: "orange rains from the sky like/a wildfire peels at the edges." and then to follow it up with "splattering yourself/cobalt against the sidewalk,/you try to ask the sky to spare/me. the puddle of you on the/ground: the clouds sip it like/fine wine and spit it out." just wow.

    and then the simplicity of the last stanza? absolutely perfect.

    11 months ago
  • ~madeline~

    Happy birthday!!! You are an amazing writer and I hope you have a wonderful day!!!! <33333

    11 months ago
  • midnight.summerrose

    Wow, this is incredible!! :)

    11 months ago
  • BlueWolf (Semi Hiatus)

    Adore it sooo much! Just amazing! The imagery just blew me away. Everything was fabulous and stunning! I am in awe!!!

    11 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Re: Hehe yeah I feel super old looking at all the newbies, the 13- and 14-year-olds...

    11 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    re: awww well i really appreciate it <333

    11 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    Re: thank you SO much for all of the support on my pieces!! :) im so glad you liked both of them—especially heartbeat! Im really proud of that one. Your comment made me smile—I'm always amazed when such an amazing author as yourself, sunny.v, dmoral, or any of the other legends on here like my writing! :)) I hope youre doing well too <33 your comments always make my day!

    11 months ago
  • don't you see the starlight (#TS)

    i kinda get how you can hate your own work, but this is seriously... ah why can't i find words strong enough to express how much i adore it? "i bake the final remains of my heart
    into a clay cup and tell you to pour me
    a drink to the brim. my skin burns." ahhhhhh
    your imagery and metaphors and similes are perfect; even though they don't all quite make sense at first read, that's why they really sing.

    11 months ago
  • ~madeline~

    WHY DO YOU HATE THISSS??? It's so beautiful!!
    Re: Happy day-early birthday!!! And I legit love all of your work!! <333

    11 months ago
  • Jasmin khawar

    Ahh! This...this is beautiful!
    (I wish I'll write like you someday)

    11 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Re: Thank you I'm glad you liked it!

    11 months ago
  • lochnessie

    re: thank you so much. also i'm kind of awed that you commented on my piece XD i'm very amazed by your writing and your imagery and everything wowww

    11 months ago
  • Hayley Jade

    how do you hate this?! i love this oml!!!!

    11 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    My gosh how do you just think of these things?!

    11 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    wait a sec why do you hate this? its so good!!!? Excuse you?!?! "i hold / your nonexistence like a prayer / in between my teeth and breathe / in the vestiges of our past lives" wow i love this!!! This whole poem is so emotional and i love the imagery, and how you made the clouds their own being, if that makes sense? wow that last stanza... really amazing. i love all of your writing!!!

    11 months ago