flaming dragon protector of all minority groups, especially if sunny lets me borrow her sword
proud big sister <3

Message from Writer


old mate

November 12, 2020


sometimes people knock and knock and there's no one home / or i'm home, behind the curtains whispering / just take the flour, take the sugar / or i am the curtains, glorious chameleon / for i am where i live / i am where i am.
and sometimes i wonder, is my imprint big enough? / for someone to fall into when i am gone, for someone to rake over with leaves./ and then i will still be there perhaps, just whispering / take the flour, take the sugar, take the slow golden honey of the morning and the autumn light. / and then i will put my hands over my mouth because the words / they spray and spit and splatter over everything./
and sometimes i will close my eyes and ears and i will say / please, just take. take and take, and no one will give./

sometimes i will take the pheromone soup that is socialising and revel in it / and sometimes i will walk and walk and close my eyes. / most days i am happy, of which i am glad / and gladness is happiness / so i am a living contradiction./ and that's okay. /

we do cpr in first aid and the dummy looks up at me with blank eyes./ we call him mate, because we are tired and bored and australian. / i wish i could save you mate, you're beyond repair./ and i whisper, you are the pathway to save somebody else. / you sacrificed your plastic life / thank you mate, because i am unreasonable and i personify everything to within / an enth / of its life./

but mate was dead anyway, so that's okay, i guess.
this is ridiculous. sorry.


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  • November 12, 2020 - 9:46pm (Now Viewing)

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  • sunny.v

    re: so sorry I got back to you so late! things have been crazy. haha, trillionth reread? oh my LOL what have I done to deserve so many looks ;-; thank you so much, dear! i hope it didn’t terrify too much. i’ve been well and afloat. how have you been? babysitting sounds...fun, lol

    6 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Re: Lol yep hormones are a beast

    6 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    woah this is stunning!!! I'm amazed and a little jealous of how amazing of a writer you are ;) this is beautiful as always!!! <333

    6 months ago
  • crystalline•galaxies

    i love this piece so much! it brought me through so many different emotions.
    re: ooh, you described me as well? here’s how accurate it was (if you’re curious):
    1. i am average height, not really all that tall.
    2. my hair is more of a caramel than anything, but it could maybe be categorized as blond?
    3. i like to think i have a calming voice, but i honestly have no clue.
    4. i am extraordinarily introverted and awkward when it comes to talking to people (so maybe shy), though i do pride myself on being able to escape those awkward situations with reasonable grace.
    5. i used to have freckles, but not really anymore. it’s really quite sad in my opinion. i like freckles.

    6 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    "we call him mate, because we are tired and bored and australian" I laughed too hard sorry. Anyway this is great if a bit confusing.

    6 months ago
  • mirkat

    never apoligise for beutiful word art, ness. i swear.... gosh, i started crying by stanza 2. these lines: "or i am the curtains, glorious chameleon / for i am where i live / i am where i am./ and sometimes i wonder, is my imprint big enough? / " wow. deep. emotional. all too relatable. and i just love how you connected it to like an everyday experience of someone asking for sugar or flour (well not in void times but whatever). that was your jumping off point and then you kept bringing tears to my eyes.... then: "so i am a living contradiction./ and that's okay." awwww, how do you do that nessie tears everywhere. sorrow. love. joy. my soul. ahhhhh. and then there's mate and i started laughing thru the tears b/c (like u said) ima walking contradiction, too. and you are Australian and you call ppl mate. now my comment is ridiculous. okay. g'day mate. <3<3<3

    6 months ago
  • pyrrhic

    I. LOVE. THIS.

    6 months ago