United States

she/her | est. 2018
lowkey actively; weekly check-ins (hopefully)
my final months here are drawing close, as much as i love you all, we must grow.

Message to Readers

aka republishing pieces from the past that still hold relevance in the present now, for the lack of new material that's really just reworded histories waiting to be told

"who do u think u are, dreaming 'bout being a big star?"

February 23, 2021



i hate my lover, she doesn’t know what she wants to be.

moving across the country is nothing compared to the families who pick up their roots and travel across continents for meaning; no, it’s not. but for her, moving across the country was moving from her world. and to her, that was everything.

all she has left are vacation days, because now she needs permission to visit the place that shaped her being. the audacity. and she asks me, can you be a tourist in your own home? but my tongue’s too dry to answer her correctly, honestly, kindly. it’s like this: she used to live on the beach and collecting shells meant throwing them back into the sand when you leave; now she collects shells and yearns to bring them back to her home across the country. this answered her question for her; she now considers herself a tourist in her own home; that night, she cried herself to sleep and i remember her wanting someone to be there but was torn between worlds and couldn’t find anybody.

this is not the only thing that’s broken her, but it’s not my place to expose the rest of her; no, some things must be left alone.

and theres no other lover that’ve come to know her as i’ve dissected her into pieces that she soon discovered after me. that’s when i learned what she’s made for; tell me, how can i love someone made for war? she wasn’t designed to stare at a screen with letter there and wonder how do you make messages out of thin air and just to text and send and care? one day she threw her phone at me, asking, and you’re telling me i’m supposed to make a relationship out of this? my answer was choked up in the back of my throat and it didn’t come out soon enough so she just stomped off and shut herself off in the room, but it never locked. no, it never does. she craves someone to knock on the door and break down her walls, but no one's ever brave enough. as for me, i fear her mind to much.

so i held our redemption in the palm of her dreams; it ended up being quite unfortunate really. because they started injecting her veins with expectations and to cope she popped pills of diligent school with the side effect of her constant stressing. and not even nicotine is as addictive as avoiding disappointment, something she takes far more than daily, but secondly. finally, on the verge of our breakup, i asked what she dreamed of becoming and she told me, if i told you i wanted to be a cop, do you believe in me enough or do you think i’ll fall and become a bad guy after all? i’ve learned i could never hand her an answer without it refusing to come out at all. since her caramel skin had the dangers tattooed across her but she was too naive into believing that all she wanted to do was be helping, that one person could change everything.

so i left it all up to her and she said we were through, i know she didn’t mean it even though she wanted to. i wasn’t a soldier trained for her kind of war.

i hated my lover, ‘cause i never understood her.
literally, i never stick to a prompt correctly, so yeah. at this point, i'd stop expecting that. in this piece particular, referred to myself in 3rd person as the she/her, narrated through my metaphorical lover and threw some dialogue in there for uniquiness of it.

anyway, inspiration creds go to poetri; my love, please enjoy even though it's a rough draft (super messy, fully of typos, sucky formatting, etc).


See History
  • February 23, 2021 - 1:17pm (Now Viewing)

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  • Wisp

    Ooh I remember this prompt from way back when! I love how you made it your own and instead of using 'best friend' you used 'lover' as your metaphor. It adds this extra depth to the piece, a more personal feeling to it and you make it entirely yours. I love how you use poetri's prompt as a starting place and jumped from there, using her prompt as a place to jump from, a place to stir your inspiration and all. As for the piece itself, it evokes this certain kind of bittersweet feeling. There's a pain and insecurity threaded between the lines that makes the piece feel so personal. This prompt was one that was more on the personal level, but the way you've written it amplifies it even more. It feels like watching a little child cry in a way, you're desperate to make them stop, to comfort them, but at the same time you don't know what to do. There's this feeling of hopelessness, maybe even the feeling of being startled, with a dash of annoyance as you try to get the child to stop crying. And you capture those emotions so well in this piece. Your diction, imagery, just the whole premise of it is utterly stunning and I am in love with it.

    about 2 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Re: Ikr?? He made an account a while back but hopefully he's gonna be more active now. He'll appreciate the welcome especially since I've told him how awesome and talented you are.

    7 months ago
  • Starlitskies

    Re: Thank you so so much for your comment on my piece. I was wondering if you could please review one of my poems. You don't have to, but I'll be really grateful if you do. I really really admire your writing and I love how poetic it is and how it flows so wonderfully. It would mean a lot for me to get your honest opinion on my work. This is the link but it's totally fine if you don't. :)

    10 months ago
  • Hayley Jade

    i love this!!! i love the focus on phrases, this is amazingggg!

    10 months ago
  • Starlitskies

    Oh my god this is so brilliant! Your words just flow seamlessly, the vocab is brilliant and the point of view, omg the point of view! Simply a stunning piece!

    10 months ago
  • poetri

    Um sis, this is fantastic. Absolutely adore it and I'm so happy you're still here...I hadn't seen you the past week or so I've been super active and got a lil worried you left. Anyway, this piece is fantastic. The diction, the way it's from your lover instead of your best friend, just the way you made it your prompt instead of just doing mine. I went through and tried to find something to highlight, but I couldn't pick just one lol. The second stanza, however, is definitely my favorite. It might be short but I just love it--a whole poem in and of itself. Acckkk we should talk more (message meee!), this is super long, thanks for doing the prompt, take care of yourself, and I wish you all the best <3

    (talk about a run on sentence, huh?)

    10 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Oh my gosh WHAT on earth did I comment?! Oh no that's what I get for quickly voice-texting a comment without proofreading it. I think what I meant to say "I love everything you write". XD

    10 months ago
  • (sk)eyesofocher

    imma just second Annes comment! ahhhhh so pretty! and the title? yesssss

    10 months ago
  • Rachaelgrace

    The title of this is literally so awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!

    10 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Holy cheesecake. I will ever do the right, but there's a special place in my heart for your pieces with long angsty titles and this piece is all the justification for that that I need. I was hoping you'd do this prompt.

    10 months ago
  • Cosmogyral

    i love the title, and how self-aware you are of the narration and distinction of p.o.v, it really is unique, and beautiful.

    10 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    wow... this is stunning. so unique. i absolutely LOVE this--you brought your voice to this so beautifully and smoothly. I love this so much. wow. <3

    10 months ago