Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
I like how this scene makes me think of a riot, or maybe a boy in the crowd, everything is distorted, and he's panicked, trying to find his father who jumped into the midst of the chaos.
Tell me, should the p.o.v be there? There's no clear distinction about the p.o.v (if it's character or narrator), but I like how it seems to be constantly changing from first to third to other/
And about the footnote, the project sounds fun, but I simply do not that the heart to rip out a page of a book ( never have, lmao). If you go for it, I think you could develop a unique writing style such as this, something that has to make the reader think. Your title says that it makes no sense, but that's the beauty of it. I find it clear and intelligible, whether or not that was your intention, I'm kind of jealous of how well the concept was executed.