Peer Review by Cosmogyral (United States)

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Words that will never make Sense (Explanation in footnotes aka project idea)

By: Jason_claire :)


He flung his voice and ran into the street
No one grabbed the corner except a man still home and stuck on the fade
While everyone pushed through angrily, he remained to wonder
It began with a hole after they went between laughing teeth
He was still closer and saw up the back door
No father climbed out and for a moment grabbed away
Quickly, catch up

Sooo, project idea; I did this once before, and this is my newest outcome (y'know the thing above...yeah.)
Anyway, if you have a really, really, REALLY old book you either don't like anymore or is super damaged here's something to do:
1. Rip out a page at random
2. Cut out words you like (any word)
3. Look at your word pile and make strange sentences out of them
4. If you have gaps, go back and look for the words you need
5. Use tweezers or your fingers, and glue the words on a page
6, Hang it up, put it in your back pocket, read it to your family, do whatever
I hope this killed the boredom demon for a little

Peer Review

I like how this scene makes me think of a riot, or maybe a boy in the crowd, everything is distorted, and he's panicked, trying to find his father who jumped into the midst of the chaos.

Tell me, should the p.o.v be there? There's no clear distinction about the p.o.v (if it's character or narrator), but I like how it seems to be constantly changing from first to third to other/

Reviewer Comments

And about the footnote, the project sounds fun, but I simply do not that the heart to rip out a page of a book ( never have, lmao). If you go for it, I think you could develop a unique writing style such as this, something that has to make the reader think. Your title says that it makes no sense, but that's the beauty of it. I find it clear and intelligible, whether or not that was your intention, I'm kind of jealous of how well the concept was executed.