Deep_Breaths

United States

I AM
slytherin
owner of ALL the books
a grand writer (I hope!)
really hungry
1/3 of the Three Musketeers
feeling poetic
in love with life
#christian
a ballerina <3
potterhead
(I can be formally addressed as *Mrs. Malfoy*)

Message to Readers

Criticism is deeply appreciated and I just wish to know how to improve this story.

Ghost

November 12, 2020

Thana
I call for Mother, only she can banish the demons that hide beneath the bed. I call again and again and again and she never even calls back. I make the leap for my door, feet almost hovering over the ground in fear that something will grab me. I run down the stairs leading downstairs. Mother is sitting on her chair, staring at something. 
"Mother, you didn't come help me." I say, trying to catch her eyes. She doesn't react to my pleas whatsoever. Her cheeks glistening with tears, I realize something is wrong and walk closer to her.
"Mother, what's wrong?" I ask. The only thing that moves is a small tear rolling off her nose. I place my hand on her shoulder, in attempt to comfort her, but she never moved.
I lightly shake her shoulder, but she doesn't notice it, or me. I raise my voice slightly.
"Mother?" I wave my hand in front of her face. But she still doesn't move.
I eventually follow her gaze to the TV and see red and blue lights flashing on the screen. There's a reporter on the screen standing in front of two covered lumps. I listen to the reporter talk.
"The child and father were apparently discovered only last hour. The child was already gone when she was pulled out of the lake but the father was vaguely breathing before he stopped."
Two small pictures appear in the corner of the television screen. A man with a beard and a child with pink ribbons in her hair and-
The realization hits me.

Mother
"Thana is gone."  The little voice in my head echoes.
"It's your fault."
"She wouldn't have gone to the lake if you hadn't told her to leave you lone to work."
"Your husband would still be here too if you hadn't told him to give you some space."
The little voice grows louder and the echoes crash around my skull leaving my head pounding. 
Only it was right. Thana and her father were gone and it was my fault.

Thana
A warm hand touches my shoulder as I sit on the floor and cry. I wipe the stinging tears from my eyes and see Father holding his hand out to me. I grab it and he hugs me tightly. Hand in hand we walk toward the light at the end of the hallway.
I really hope this made you feel something. 

Print

See History
  • November 12, 2020 - 10:24pm (Now Viewing)

Login or Signup to provide a comment.

3 Comments
  • AstroWriter

    Oh wow. I felt something move in me and I think you did a awesome job. I felt like I was right there on the living room watching tv. Good Job!


    2 months ago
  • peridot

    Wow- this is deep; makes me feel like I'm going to cry. Wonderful plot ;)


    2 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Woah yeah this definitely made me feel things


    2 months ago