~wildflower~

Australia

15
she/her
Loves music, nature, poetry, emotive writing, thinking
Passionate about the environment
pianist, tall
•stranded amongst the stars any trying to work out the meaning of it all•
Joined April 2020

On a perpetual semi-hiatus

Message to Readers

Hi! I know I used ‘he’ and ‘her’ a lot in this piece without referring to exactly who they are. Does that make it confusing or unclear?
Also, I know I referred to the character midway through the description of the setting, but I hope it follows the prompt well enough...

in a place of endings

November 15, 2020

PROMPT: Setting as Mood

9
She was beginning to realise that the world was moving on. Bright blades of grass were already beginning to shoot up from that settling rectangle of dirt, shamelessly reducing an exquisite lifetime to no more than another blank existence. The sound of car horns pierced the still air as commuters impatiently resented even the short, inevitable moments of waiting, anxious to continue edging through each moment. She looked around at the cracked, dirty headstones that littered the hillside: the only remnants of the discarded souls that had once roamed these lands. Those people had long been forgotten, and he was beginning to be too. Her? Maybe she already had been. Maybe her hopelessness had prevailed the boundaries of death. Above her, a family of birds sang joyfully from their nest. For them it was a time of new beginnings; of opportunity and change. The birds didn’t understand the weight of sudden endings; rather, they basked in their blissful ignorance of the world. The sky gradually dimmed as the sun set, beginning its rest in preparation for the next day. Around her, the world moved on, but she remained still in front of that headstone; a lone figure lost amid the raging currents of time. She stared with burning envy at the budding wildflowers all around as she shivered in her decaying winter skin. Without him, she might never be able to move to the rhythm of the world again. That night, the sun set but the stars didn’t shine.
 

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10 Comments
  • journal.scribbles

    re: Okay, thank you so much!!!


    10 months ago
  • journal.scribbles

    Okay sorry I was gonna comment on this earlier but then I realized I wasn't awake enough to give it the comment it deserves. This piece is amazing!!! The very first line draws the reader in to read more, and the imagery and symbolism throughout are just so beautiful... I had to reread it more than a few times. I don't think the pronouns make this confusing at all, it actually helped me focus on the incredible setting you described. I love this piece so much!!! So beautiful!!!


    10 months ago
  • Starlitskies

    Re: Wow I've never seen stars changing colour! It must've been beautiful. I definitely agree with you about seeing stars in written works. Sometimes I feel that it's overused in literature, but that's definitely because its too beautiful to ignore. :) I wonder if you've heard of the instagram poet 'Atticus'. He has some wonderful metaphors about stars. You should definitely check it out if you haven't. It's great that you get to stargaze when you walk your dog. I do get to stargaze sometimes, when I visit my grandmother. She lives a couple of hours away in a rural area and I usually visit her at least once a month.


    10 months ago
  • poetgoneonpluto

    it is not confusing, however i would have loved to know more about the character but it doesn't feel as a necessity over here.


    10 months ago
  • poetgoneonpluto

    wow, this is wonderful! the small details build up the scene in my mind, like, "The sound of car horns pierced the still air as commuters impatiently resented even the short, inevitable moments of waiting, anxious to continue edging through each moment." this. this one helped in imagining the setting, this is a descriptive and interesting piece. loved it!


    10 months ago
  • SamRose

    Wow, this is so good!


    10 months ago
  • BlueWolf (Semi Hiatus)

    Re: Thank you!

    I really like this! I am especially in love with the last line! Just magnificent!


    10 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    "The birds didn’t understand the weight of sudden endings; rather, they basked in their blissful ignorance of the world."
    That aside is so masterfully written that I just can't handle it.
    "That night, the sun set but the stars didn’t shine."
    Okay but that incredibly impactful... how do you do it?
    I didn't feel confused by this piece, but rather, enraptured. Well done.


    10 months ago
  • Starlitskies

    Omg this is so brilliant! It's not at all confusing and your diction is marvellous!!!
    Re: Thank you for your helpful comment on my piece. I just read your bio and I'm also obsessed with stars! Do you often get to stargaze? I used to, where I lived before but now I've moved to the city so I don't get to do it often.


    10 months ago
  • ANSON REYNOLDS

    HOW HAS NOBODY COMMENNTED ON THIS?!?!?! it's amazing. You did sucn a good lob with this prompt- "as commuters impatiently resented even the short, inevitable moments of waiting, anxious to continue edging through each moment. " and "She stared with burning envy at the budding wildflowers all around as she shivered in her decaying winter skin." were my favorites, probably. but they were all SO GOOD!!!!!


    10 months ago