Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Message to Readers
Any and all feedback would be greatly appreciated! Also, any title suggestions?
The very first sentence caught my eye! I love all the dialogue. And the send off scene is classic and timeless and always emotional. You pulled it off nicely.
Charlie's excitement and idealism make him vivid. Then his disappointment and seasickness give him some negative traits (which is a really good thing!). Charlie's realization that sailing might not be for him is a little heartbreaking after his excitement, but it shows that he sees his problem as unconquerable. I would like to know... hm. Everything! Nah, I;m kidding. I am curious about Charlie's upbringing and the time period, though.
Oh, yes! The ship and the captain remark immediately give me a sense of the genre/style/vibe. I'm curious about the time period, but it definitely feels historical, sometimes in the past. The weather and the sounds definitely are vivid, as well as the lovely imagery when the storm is over.
I can tell, through your writing, that there's probably a fire burning inside to write. To write something. And that something happened to be this story. You impart wisdom and lessons and intrigue and beautiful wording in this. Please, keeping writing. With this story, you drew me in and didn't let go! Also, major cliffhanger!
I need to know more about Charlie! Will his aunt let him go back? Who is he really? I'm also very curious about the other crew members. Eccentric and varied? Gruff? Fanciful? Are there any female crew members? Are you going to continue this and publish more of it?
Anyway, I'm eager for more of Charlie and his aunt. And remember, you are a writer. If you want to be called one. (Not everyone does.) And everything I've said are only suggestions that should never alter your story beyond what you imagined it to be.